Menu
What's new
By:
Filters

I'd like a brutally honest constructive review or another, please

Werewoof

Werewoof

Combustible, likes pecans
Hi there! I know this isn't an introduction page, but I'm not gonna bother making one for myself. I'm not that great.

I'm Jon Korte, aka "The Cartoonists Guild". I'm a self-taught artist of 15 years, musician of 9 years, composer of 6 years, and local Celtic band member of 5 years. Without having composing as a job for motivation, I rarely complete any of the music I write, so a bunch of stuff just lays comatose on the hard drive. (That's part of the problem, I think. I'll need to get an SSD eventually.)

I mostly enjoy orchestral / acoustic / experimental / folksy scores. I don't really like "epic" music. However I do like funky / jazzy stuff, as well as Drum and Bass, and combining those elements with epic, I was able to throw this together in about 3 days to meet a deadline:

"The story of two invincible and brotherly intergalactic superheroes, and their final time together in defeating an ultimate evil space lord before family life calls one of them away."


I honestly have never received feedback for any of my compositions--for obvious reasons. I almost never complete them, and when I do, I never share them. So, today, I've finally decided to try that out. o_O


I would be absolutely thrilled if anyone could opine here. Please offer your constructive criticisms, however many you have or can find. I am prepared for the worst and am giddily anticipating it, provided you have solutions.

I appreciate anything anyone can pick apart for me!
-Jon
Click to read more...
 
Last edited:
Remember, the 8Dio contest entries need to be 5-minutes or less, lest they changed the rules? I wouldn't change the structure, just wind it down somehow at the 5-min mark. You've got a really unique voice, and you're piece was all over the place... in a VERY GOOD way to my ears! Had some cool 60's/70's influences that should catch some attention.

The percussion/kick drum transition around 0.46 sounds somewhat "lonely"... kinda loses some life for a few seconds.
The acoustic piano part around 3:00 sounded a bit off on some notes.

I liked you're Orion piece as well, but the electronic voice was really grating after a few moments. The underscore part sounded cool, but I couldn't really hear it. Stick with "Save the Galaxy" as your submission. I think you have a chance to nab some free goodies from 8Dio.

Good Luck, Jon! And keep submitting stuff for us to listen to... I dig it.
 
Werewoof said:
I honestly have never received feedback for any of my compositions--for obvious reasons. I almost never complete them, and when I do, I never share them. So, today, I've finally decided to try that out. o_O
Click to expand...
Same here !!! That's why I've started to share stuff on VI ! (sometimes I've feedback, sometimes not...) Anyway, lets go back to your track, a few thoughts (all subjective):
  • The overall sound really good :2thumbs:
  • The flute at 0:35 sound a bit too close to me (missing a little reverb maybe ?)
  • The sustain low brass around 2:00 seems to be out of the mix, like if there is totally no room around.
  • The main thing I'm missing is a main melody. I cannot sing a theme after hearing your track. Maybe it's not the purpose of it, but I'm missing a melodic anchor to hold on.
Keep in mind that I'm not a professionnal musician, so others may disagree with my analyse.

At last I want to say that I really like your "musical world". You have a very personnal style so keep it !

Leon
 
Really like it. Particularly the intro and the breakdown. Love the big brass bits (what libraries are you using?). The whole thing reminds me of an old 60's spy film (mission impossible or something).

I think the dnb beat needs adjusting slightly. I think it sounds too repetitive for something as jazzy sounding as this piece. A sprinkling of fills and variation would really benefit the track. Maybe also add a double bass bass line too (IMO).

All in all though, I really enjoyed that.
 
yes I enjoyed it, certainly unique in style! so that has got to be good..i second the comment about the bass drum out on its own...perhaps needs to fade or drop out earlier... but again just my personal view on it..

:2thumbs:
 
The world needs new music
Like yours
I love it
OK, there are some highlights and some places where the arrangement is not so gripping
But, just keep doing it and make it is as nasty/funky/nice/banging/mellow/epic/jazzy/rootsy as you like... (delete as appropriate)
If it is of any worth this is much closer to how I hear music than the more straight up epic or classical or fantasy that there are a lot of on these boards
Massive thumbs up from me
 
Goodness, many thanks for the responses. :D I will attempt to properly address each.

@LamaRose
Thank you for your encouragement, and double thanks for also delving further into my Soundcloud, I'm glad I could also get feedback on that other piece! I'm going to make the voice less raspy before the standout competition deadline expires. This composition is for another competition by 8Dio, and it wasn't limited to 5 minutes, thankfully.

Thanks for your opinion on the scattered nature of the song: While I was making it, I flipped between segments and it didn't even sound like the same song, so I wasn't sure if it was consistent enough over its course. Good thoughts about the bass drum transition, I'll have to think of something to keep the interest afloat there. Concerning the piano, you are probably correct: During the C minor chord, I wanted the piano to improvise / meander above it on the C blues scale. But during the following F# minor chord, I wanted the piano to descend into a jazzy dissonance by overlaying it with--I forget which now--a diminished arpeggio. (I absolutely love dissonance it's so fun)

And thanks! I'll hopefully post some more stuff, eventually, but this direction of music isn't my primary style. Feels good every now and then, though. :)

@leon chevalier
Haha, I wish I had started sooner--thanks for the feedback! :) You are actually correct, the flute (Embertone's Crystal Flute) actually doesn't have any reverb because I forgot to turn it back on. I was going to use EAReverb 2 to simulate a panned concert environment for each instrument but the end result sounded muddy, so I kept everything free of extra reverb. I'll probably get better at it eventually if I keep trying.
Good thoughts on the brass bit at 2:00, It does sound kinda lonely now that I think about it.

I actually like your thought on the lack of a main melody: that DOES bring about a good point, as no melody line particularly seems to stand out here. While I do have a bunch of (unfinished) songs that have stuff that are probably main melodies, I find myself typically resorting to motifs or little musical moments to make a song memorable (hopefully). Even if I don't pick out anything worth singing, I try to make moments that get stuck in my head.

Thanks again, friend :)

@Puzzlefactory
Cheers, mate! I am using SoundIron's Symphony Brass (Ensemble and Solo (trumpet)) for this song. I was definitely going for the stereotypical actiony spy-film slant, which I have a big weak spot for.

I can see where you're coming from, and I probably should slide in some other flittery-bits to the breaks. I added subtle details here and there as I thought would help, but nothing terribly dramatic. I'm so used to listening to 5-6 minute DnB songs with very repetitive beats and listening for subtle additions. I absolutely love that stuff for some reason, but I don't know many other people how like that kind of repetition. :r
Double bass would be a good idea, actually... :)

@PeterJCroissant
Thanks for your feedback, sir! :) I will take these ideas into account. Thanks for enjoying!

@mc_deli
Oh my, thanks for the big compliment! I don't know how I should respond here, but thank you, thank you, thank you. :thumbsup:
 
Last edited:
Werewoof said:
Goodness, many thanks for the responses. :D I will attempt to properly address each.

Lamarose:
Thank you for your encouragement, and double thanks for also delving further into my Soundcloud, I'm glad I could also get feedback on that other piece! I'm going to make the voice less raspy before the standout competition deadline expires. This composition is for another competition by 8Dio, and it wasn't limited to 5 minutes, thankfully.

Thanks for your opinion on the scattered nature of the song: While I was making it, I flipped between segments and it didn't even sound like the same song, so I wasn't sure if it was consistent enough over its course. Good thoughts about the bass drum transition, I'll have to think of something to keep the interest afloat there. Concerning the piano, you are probably correct: During the C minor chord, I wanted the piano to improvise / meander above it on the C blues scale. But during the following F# minor chord, I wanted the piano to descend into a jazzy dissonance by overlaying it with--I forget which now--a diminished arpeggio. (I absolutely love dissonance it's so fun)

And thanks! I'll hopefully post some more stuff, eventually, but this direction of music isn't my primary style. Feels good every now and then, though. :)

leon chevalier:
Haha, I wish I had started sooner--thanks for the feedback! :) You are actually correct, the flute (Embertone's Crystal Flute) actually doesn't have any reverb because I forgot to turn it back on. I was going to use EAReverb 2 to simulate a panned concert environment for each instrument but the end result sounded muddy, so I kept everything free of extra reverb. I'll probably get better at it eventually if I keep trying.
Good thoughts on the brass bit at 2:00, It does sound kinda lonely now that I think about it.

I actually like your thought on the lack of a main melody: that DOES bring about a good point, as no melody line particularly seems to stand out here. While I do have a bunch of (unfinished) songs that have stuff that are probably main melodies, I find myself typically resorting to motifs or little musical moments to make a song memorable (hopefully). Even if I don't pick out anything worth singing, I try to make moments that get stuck in my head.

Thanks again, friend :)

PuzzleFactory:
Cheers, mate! I am using SoundIron's Symphony Brass (Ensemble and Solo (trumpet)) for this song. I was definitely going for the stereotypical actiony spy-film slant, which I have a big weak spot for.

I can see where you're coming from, and I probably should slide in some other flittery-bits to the breaks. I added subtle details here and there as I thought would help, but nothing terribly dramatic. I'm so used to listening to 5-6 minute DnB songs with very repetitive beats and listening for subtle additions. I absolutely love that stuff for some reason, but I don't know many other people how like that kind of repetition. :r
Double bass would be a good idea, actually... :)

PeterJCroissant:
Thanks for your feedback, sir! :) I will take these ideas into account. Thanks for enjoying!

mc_deli:
Oh my, thanks for the big compliment! I don't know how I should respond here, but thank you, thank you, thank you. :thumbsup:
Click to expand...

@Werewoof Just a quick tip: when you answer to someone without using the "reply" button, put an @ in front of the name, the user will have an alert. So he/her will not miss your post if he/her does not come that often on VI. ;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom