# Posts you hope you never have to make!



## wst3 (Nov 12, 2017)

Hi all,

There are many here I count as friends, some I've met in person, some not. We all share a common passion for music and music production, pretty cool when you think about it.

Unfortunately, this ain't that... I'm sorry to post that my wife, Judi, lost her battle with breast cancer this week. There are no words to adequately describe just how horrible this is. We have four children, ages 11, 13, 15, and 29 (yeah, you read that right, the oldest is her daughter from her first marriage, and just to make things worse, has a 1 year old of her own.) Watching the four of them struggle is hard.

She fought hard! And the end stage was mercifully brief, but it is still almost unbelievable, except she isn't here. I will always be proud that she picked me to be her husband, I will always be proud of how hard she fought to stay alive, I will always be grateful that she was so supportive of my musical endeavors, and grateful that she chose to spend the last 17 years with me.

She was an amazing woman, and I miss her beyond words. (Ironic, since she was a writer, and somehow always found words. And here's the thing about us, how many relationships can survive the writer/editor thing? I'm not sure, and it wasn't always uneventful, but she kept coming back for more.)

The kids and I are sad, scared, angry, confused, nothing positive comes to mind I'm afraid. I'm utterly lost.

That's all I got!


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## chillbot (Nov 12, 2017)

So sorry man.

Always here if you want to chat.


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## jules (Nov 12, 2017)

Sorry to hear such an horrible news. If i can help in any way...


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## Ned Bouhalassa (Nov 12, 2017)

My deepest condolences.

Do you have a good group of friends or a best friend to reach out to? The children may look to you for extra support, but you need much support too. Taking things one day at a time, being in the moment may be helpful right now. Therapy can also do wonders - it helped me through a loss in the past.


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## Johann F. (Nov 12, 2017)

Sorry to hear about your wife, please accept my sympathies and I hope you and your family find the strength needed to get through this.


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## patrick76 (Nov 12, 2017)

Very sorry for your loss. It sounds like she made a wonderful impact on you and your family. Breast cancer is a really terrible thing. My heart goes out to you man.


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## MatFluor (Nov 12, 2017)

Sorry for you loss. My sincere condolences.


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## synergy543 (Nov 12, 2017)

My deepest condolences to you Bill and best wishes to you and your family.


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## Smikes77 (Nov 12, 2017)

Awful news to hear, I`m very sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and your children.


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## synthpunk (Nov 12, 2017)

I'm very sorry Bill, that's a tough one. Only thing I can say is celebrate and remember the good times and spend lots of time with the kids. Was there a favorite charity of Judi's that we can send a tribute donation too ? If you want to talk just PM or email me. Sincerely, James


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## joed (Nov 12, 2017)

I'm very sorry for your loss.


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## TGV (Nov 12, 2017)

Terribly sorry to hear. I can't imagine what that must be like. I hope you can find some solace in music.


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## sostenuto (Nov 12, 2017)

@ wst3 .... so tough to hear. Exact same experience 18 months ago, and no words help. Those special kiddies will be a challenge, but also amazing comfort in times ahead. Take strength from that and you will make her so proud.

Music and great people here can be such magical support going forward. 
Warmest regards


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## thov72 (Nov 12, 2017)

I feel for you. I would not know what to do if I ever lost my wife or one of the kids.

Today I got a little nervous when my 3 year old daughter, Miriam, was missing after church. She had been running around with another girl but I had gone to another room with our baby and told our oldest two (5 and 7) to wait for Miriam, which, of course, did not work out. So I went on a search in every room and finally found a friedn who said that she had seen Miriam leaving the parish hall. It was pouring outside! Didn´t find her outside either. That was when I started getting a bit nervous.....searched the house again, went outside again and there she came with another girl, walking in the pouring rain wit a jacket twice her size. I only was a bit angry 
Turned out she had found the jacket on the floor next to hers (hers was still hanging at the coatrack) that jacket looked "just like her own", so she´d put it and had gone on a search for us...pooh, was I relieved....

Dont know why I posted this but maybe it can make you smile and think of old times......

My prayers are with you.
Glad that you shared your loss.


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## Lassi Tani (Nov 12, 2017)

So sad to hear! That's surely the hardest and most devastating thing to happen in a life . The whole community here supports you! I hope that you'll get strength and hope to survive from this terrible loss.

My prayers are with you and your family.


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## J-M (Nov 12, 2017)

Very sorry to hear about your loss. 

My thoughts are with you and your children.


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## AllanH (Nov 12, 2017)

That's terrible. I'm so sorry for your loss. A friend of mine is going through the same thing. She has found some value in a local "grief group", typically run by a hospice or local therapist. Please reach out of I can be of assistance.


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## pfmusic (Nov 12, 2017)

Sincere condolences wst3


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## zacnelson (Nov 12, 2017)

This is very tragic to read about, all I can offer is my sympathy. I couldn't imagine being left to raise my children on my own without my wonderful wife.


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## Polkasound (Nov 12, 2017)

Bill, my deepest sympathy to you and your family during this difficult time.

-Tom


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## Rob (Nov 12, 2017)

Very sorry to hear this, I have no words. Sincere condolences Bill


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## Jaap (Nov 12, 2017)

So sorry to hear this Bill and though I repeat my words as I have said it on another place and though they might be just some words on a forum, my thoughts are with you and your children and though you are all feeling lost, I do hope you can find solace at eachother in all the pain and grief.

And knowing this from experience. Whatever you feel, just let it be and throw it out and fuck all the things that are said or how people think it should be done or that you should move on or grief like this etc etc. This kind of stuff hurts beyond hell and often things are just said by others to mask their own "not knowing how to deal with it".

Big hug for you and here a song that helped me a lot and just ignore it if you are not up to it.


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## Living Fossil (Nov 12, 2017)

So sad to read this....my sincere condolence.
I wish that you and your children find the strength to go through this hard times.


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## Paul Grymaud (Nov 12, 2017)

Very sad news, buddy. 
Death is the greatest of injustices. 
God will not forget Judi. And, if You ask Him intensely, He will give You the strength to continue courageously to live alongside your four children. And when it gets better, compose a music for her. 
Be courageous and strong !


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## ColonelMarquand (Nov 12, 2017)

Deepest condolences. I've been married for 41 years and cannot begin to imagine what you're going through at the moment. Easy to say I know and cold comfort, but time is a healer.
Breast cancer is just awful. I've been taking my mother, who you can imagine is very old, for breast cancer treatment for quite a while now, and one learns quite a bit about this illness and what a ghastly affliction to the women it really is.
Very sorry for your loss.


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## Hannes_F (Nov 13, 2017)

Oh Bill - I'm very sorry to read this and send my best wishes.
I personally believe that something of each human being survives death and is not lost ... but nevertheless we who remain need to live on without that loved person.
Maybe in the situation with your kids you'll get into a state of 'being busy because things must be done' soon, if so then let it happen. Our soul has it's own healing cycles and will take its time later.
All the best, Hannes


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## Iskra (Nov 13, 2017)

So sorry to hear this, my deepest condolences.
I wish there was a "_Hate_" button next to _Like_ and _Reply_ for a post like yours.


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## Paul Thomson (Nov 13, 2017)

So sorry to hear this Bill. Sending you thoughts and best wishes to you and your kids. I can't imagine how hard this must be. Wishing you all the strength in the world to help you and the kids come to terms with your loss. I hope you can find comfort in the days and weeks ahead. All the best. Paul


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## Mike Marino (Nov 13, 2017)

Incredibly sorry for your loss, Bill....


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## ghostnote (Nov 13, 2017)

Sorry to hear that. I wish you and your children all the best!


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## Thorsten Meyer (Nov 13, 2017)

Bill,
I am extremely sorry to hear about your loss. My spirits and thoughts are with you and your children.
My deepest condolences,
Thorsten


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