# What do you do when you start to doubt yourself?



## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

I'm asking this for me, but maybe it could be useful for anybody else.

I've changed my routine in the last 8 months, getting more into fitness, and mainly in the last 2 months where I go to the gym each day now, which is great of course, but at the same time, I can't write anymore, constant blank, no inspiration, feel like a beginner in front of my piano, don't even understand how the creation process works anymore. I could improvise on the piano with no problem, but seem in constant doubt of anything I start to write as a piece, constantly rejecting any ideas I have. Struggling with the ability to craft anything. But the worst part is the doubt in me now, questioning every note I write. In my more paranoid moments, I feel I'm not a composer any more.

My situation seems good, great boss, I can't attribute it to outside stress, just the one I may be putting on myself. But that was the whole idea of working out, to feel better and enjoy doing music for a long time. The "feel better" part is working but to the expense of the inspiration. The only thing I can think of is that my routine changed more dramatically in the last 2 months often focusing on physical training even outside the gym. So maybe it's just a question of having a better discipline and not let a new activity take the focus away from my normal routine. 

Thoughts? Experiences?


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## Daryl (Mar 18, 2013)

Stop rejecting so many ideas. You have craft. Use it. I would imagine that most of the time you would still end up with something good.

The other thing you can do, is having got an idea, remove yourself from the composing aspect. Treat yourself as having been given this sh*tty stick to deal with by someone else, and act like an arranger and/or orchestrator. That way you may find yourself being more creative than if you just tried to write a perfect piece of music.

D


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

Daryl @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> Stop rejecting so many ideas. You have craft. Use it. I would imagine that most of the time you would still end up with something good.
> 
> The other thing you can do, is having got an idea, remove yourself from the composing aspect. Treat yourself as having been given this sh*tty stick to deal with by someone else, and act like an arranger and/or orchestrator. That way you may find yourself being more creative than if you just tried to write a perfect piece of music.
> 
> D




I think I may have to do this, looking for the perfect idea, perfect theme, perfect dissonance, whatever, is creating a blockage.


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## Waywyn (Mar 18, 2013)

Hey Guy,

hm, maybe too much pressure that the stuff you write may be too shallow and not complex or sophisticated enough?  Sorry, couldn't resist! o-[][]-o 


Okay, to be serious. You said you are going to the gym etc. ... this is physical, but what are you doing for your brain? I am just asking this because of that typical process we all have of worrying. You may know the feeling from back then when you were single and tried hard to find a partner. The more you tried, the worse the situation got.

The other thing is routine. How much routine is your life. I would suggest starting off with small things like moving your trash bin to the other side of the table. Little things like these change a lot.

I also would decide to do something "strange" each day or so. Something "what noone has never done before". I am seriously ... basically stuff like, jumping in the air in the middle of your living room with a hat on, saying "Babamm" ... or trying to read a book whehn holding it upside down and read loud with Indian accent :D

I know I know, many guys in front of the screen right now, thinking: WTF, does that guy want? ... but I am drop dead serious.

The thing is, our brain gets to routine pretty fast but if you feed it with new stuff, you simply change the way our brain approaches things. Think of it as a little block or traffic jam in a few synapses and while doing "weird" stuff your brain adapts new theories on how to find solutions.

I would also suggest to get into a topic you never thought of. Maybe buying a book on biology or visiting Khanacademy and do a few courses on astrophysics.

There is a reason why many people have ideas while under the shower or right before they fall asleep. It is simply because mostly we (as composers) do everything else BUT thinking about music. We are busy with something else and suddenly ideas flow.


I am pretty much convinced that if you find something which is unusual for your brain, ideas start flowing on no time again!


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## Darthmorphling (Mar 18, 2013)

During winter break, where I had ample free time to compose, I went through a bout of "my stuff sucks." I started drawing and that seemed to help focus me on being creative, but not worrying about music. While I was drawing I naturally started coming up with some decent melodies.

Of course my inner critic kicked in later and said it sucked, but I don't have the skills yet that you do so you can kick your inner critic's ass.

This was not meant in jest. You have serious skills. =o


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## Daryl (Mar 18, 2013)

Guy Bacos @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> Daryl @ Mon Mar 18 said:
> 
> 
> > Stop rejecting so many ideas. You have craft. Use it. I would imagine that most of the time you would still end up with something good.
> ...


Yep, trying to be fresh and original can be a real strain. What you must remember is that for the listener, there is a much, much lower threshold of tolerance than the standards you are aiming for. You may know where the bodies are buried, but with craft they can be hidden so well that once you get further away from the music, you won't be able to spot the joins either. Once you take the pressure off, you'll be surprised at how good your writing is, even with ideas that you might have previously rejected.

Let me give you an example. A few years back a very good friend of mine (a conductor) died, and there was a memorial service in Southwark Cathedral. I was asked to do an arrangement of various Scottish folk songs for baritone and Orchestra. Most of it was fine, but there was just one corner that I couldn't get right, and the more that I tried, the harder it became. In the end I decided just to finish the job, and stop being precious about it. A week later, when we performed the arrangement, I couldn't remember where the problem was, and couldn't spot it either. This shows me that sometimes the feeling of unease or inadequacy is only in our heads. It is not translated to the music.

D


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

Waywyn @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> Hey Guy,
> 
> hm, maybe too much pressure that the stuff you write may be too shallow and not complex or sophisticated enough?  Sorry, couldn't resist! o-[][]-o



Ok, we're evens now. 

About the rest of your post, which sucks, just kidding,  I don't think it's that crazy what you are saying, in fact it's like forcing yourself to act spontaneous taking away the tension in your brain. Next time I get in my house, I'm going through the chimney!


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## Jimbo 88 (Mar 18, 2013)

This is always a good exercise, not only when you have writers block, or can't get going, but just as a routine.

Jazz guys would often "re-write" a standard. Grab a song or piece you really like and re-do it. 

Start by changing up the rhythm (if it is possible)
re-harmonizing it. Change the style of harmony. Perhaps simplify, perhaps extend.
Next re-phrase the melody. If the melody starts before beat 1, start your new melody after beat one or on beat one.

If after a pass you you can still recognize the original, take another pass.

Keep reshaping until there is no copyright issues.

This is a good way to study another piece. A successful format has been already created for you.


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

Daryl @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> Let me give you an example. A few years back a very good friend of mine (a conductor) died, and there was a memorial service in Southwark Cathedral. I was asked to do an arrangement of various Scottish folk songs for baritone and Orchestra. Most of it was fine, but there was just one corner that I couldn't get right, and the more that I tried, the harder it became. In the end I decided just to finish the job, and stop being precious about it. A week later, when we performed the arrangement, I couldn't remember where the problem was, and couldn't spot it either. This shows me that sometimes the feeling of unease or inadequacy is only in our heads. It is not translated to the music.
> 
> D




Right, this obsessiveness can become a killer. Taking some distance makes a big difference.


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## j_kranz (Mar 18, 2013)

Nothing forces productivity out of me like a deadline, which also funnily enough usually ends up being my best work too. Perhaps try giving yourself one and see what you come up with _-)


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## reddognoyz (Mar 18, 2013)

smoke....more....pot.....

Maybe go find a film to score or a collaborator, or a play/performance art piece that needs music? deadlines and real world expectations make better writers of us all. 

I, for one, can't write a note w/o a paycheck/schedule attached these days. I don't wish that on anyone though. When I get home these days I look at the piano or guitar.. and reach for the remote.


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## reddognoyz (Mar 18, 2013)

ps


i was kidding about the smoke more pot...... (unless that works for you)


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

j_kranz @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> Nothing forces productivity out of me like a deadline, which also funnily enough usually ends up being my best work too. Perhaps try giving yourself one and see what you come up with _-)



I do have deadlines, or more monthly quota productions, but am struggling with this now, something I wasn't before.


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

reddognoyz @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> ps
> 
> 
> i was kidding about the smoke more pot...... (unless that works for you)



Damn, I didn't read your 2nd post in time!


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## SergeD (Mar 18, 2013)

Just sit down and play guitar or any instrument that will put you out of your comfort zone. It will break reflex actions dictated by your body. Your keyboard skills could turn off sounds exploration. 

I recall (but may be wrong) that Stravinsky used to play on an untuned keyboard in his bunker.


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## wst3 (Mar 18, 2013)

well I pretty much always doubt myself, and yes, I know that's not productive, but I just haven't gotten past it yet.

What works for me is to just play, just for myself, no expectations, no objectives, nothing, just me and the guitar, or sometimes piano.

I can't tell you how I manage to expunge all expectations, I guess that's been an effort all by itself, but that's what I do.

I start with a riff or snippet - usually from something I've heard recently, and I just play with it. After a bit I find myself feeling relaxed and refreshed.

Then I get back to work.

It may not work for everyone, but it seems to work for me...


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## Waywyn (Mar 18, 2013)

Guy Bacos @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> Waywyn @ Mon Mar 18 said:
> 
> 
> > Hey Guy,
> ...



BWAHAHAHA!
Yes exactly, acting spontaneously and activating the brain to get out of routine.

Make sure to post a photo then!


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## EastWest Lurker (Mar 18, 2013)

When I am self-doubting, I play some of my previous work to remind myself that I am pretty good.


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## dinerdog (Mar 18, 2013)

A couple of must reads:

http://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Through-Creative-Battles/dp/1936891026/ref=la_B000AQ8R8Q_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363626722&sr=1-1 (http://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Through-C ... 722&amp;sr=1-1)

http://www.amazon.com/Do-Work-Steven-Pressfield/dp/1936719010/ref=pd_sim_b_2 (http://www.amazon.com/Do-Work-Steven-Pr ... pd_sim_b_2)

http://www.amazon.com/The-Creative-Habit-Learn-Life/dp/0743235274/ref=pd_sim_b_5 (http://www.amazon.com/The-Creative-Habi ... pd_sim_b_5)

And a helpful site:

http://99u.com


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

Thanks for these links.


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

EastWest Lurker @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> When I am self-doubting, I play some of my previous work to remind myself that I am pretty good.



So maybe I should play some of your works?

Kidding.


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## dinerdog (Mar 18, 2013)

Personally the doubts always come and go. I can look back on my body of work and be impressed, but other times the second I hand some music in (or hear something great someone else did) I think I really suck.

Same with starting a movie, I think I know just what kind of music it needs, but damn if those first bits of ideas don't sound like they were written by a child.

I think the craft is the only thing that gets us through, and I found a lot of inspiration in all of those books.


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## impressions (Mar 18, 2013)

all those tips and tricks might carry some weight, but in my experience, the things that creates a composition-are experiences.

routines are bad, and you need something exciting and new. something that is a new target, that will give you hope and motivation to aspire to.
or just go on a different path you usually go, be more brave, take initiative(with girls whom you never thought you had a chance for example)
make mistakes intentionally. stop being perfect.
do something great, be inspirational to other people.
make a difference, stop boring yourself be unexpected, don't convince yourself you're good-show yourself...etc


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## jaeroe (Mar 18, 2013)

short term - you mentioned the difficulty the last 2 months or so, when you started exercising daily. exercise can alter brain chemistry. usually it is helpful in fighting depression (writer's block, and all the things you talk of are depressive characteristics.... all extremely common with us creative types). but, some people are different. you may have disturbed some sort of balance you had going on for yourself. i'd experiment with exercising 3 days a week for 30-45 minutes each time, no more, for a few weeks.

a good book to read is stephen king's "on writing". you can hate is writing, doesn't matter. it's a great look into the creative process and it translates very well to music and our process. it's also really entertaining.

john corigliano has a great quote about style/personal voice being essentially the choices you make - why do you decide to do a certain thing here, not there. composing is actually a long series of little decisions. we go note to note (now in a digital domain sometimes it's lay by layer too). doubling back on yourself a lot is death. you won't get anything done. try to make a decision and keep moving - trust in your craft. you've got a lot of experience (you've probably even had blocks before!). we get through. by doing our craft a lot, we strengthen this intuitive part that makes these decisions we aren't even aware we're making. but, then we have the discriminating part of ourself also - the one that says "the strings are too loud in the mix" or whatever. we need that part, but we need a balance. when the discriminating part gets too loud it's a problem. the intuitive part is like the star athlete and the discriminating part is like the coach and the agent. the coach and the agent can help steer the star with constructive input, but they need to stay off the field and let the star do his thing. liken it to a producer if you want, but it starts with the star.... give the star a freakin' break and some room to work!

judgement - most of us have it (or excessive criticism). when it crops up, just lightly acknowledge it without more judgement. don't resist it, just see it- "oh, there it is again...". you'll notice it a million times, eventually you'll hardly notice that you're noticing it, but that's sort of the point. you have to see it without judgement to let it go. for me, it has never fully gone away, but now it's mostly background noise like the air conditioner or tinitus. i can hear it when i want, but it usually serves no point and doesn't bother me.

trick - this is silly but works great for media stuff. just throw existing music up against picture and move stuff around. consider yourself a temp editor for the moment. after awhile, some moment will happen somewhere. one, or sometimes several of these are usually enough to get you going again with a cool idea. just don't stress - enjoy watching serendipity happen, otherwise you may well miss something really cool.

for stuff not to picture, concert work, songs, etc - take an existing work (i find classical/concert pieces with limited instrumentation work best - they have the most room to go somewhere else. doesn't matter what genre you are working in...). get the piece in your head, either from recordings or reading it down. use that as jumping off point to just react to, stream of conscious - just hear or play stuff on top. again, something eventually happens somewhere if you stick with it and are open to it. you can change the piece - rhythms, notes, meter, key/mode, tempo. add notes in between things, whatever. you can then remove the original piece (like a stencil) and keep going with what you have. or you can do your impersonation of what would happen if the composer woke up in the body of Cold Play.... whatever. just get it moving - it will give the discriminating part of your mind something to latch onto so the star athlete can let loose.


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

impressions @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> routines are bad



Although I agree that it's healthy to go nuts sometimes, I don't agree about routines being bad. When something becomes a routine, that can have a negative connotation, like it's becoming boring on the long run. But having a routine can also demand great discipline, which I think many creators live by, some only write from 9 to 5, then leave the office. A jogger, for example may jog 30 min. every day of the year between 2:00 and 2:30. If this mental decision works well with you, then it's good. In my case, my routine has permitted me to consistently write about 4 demos/month for something like 8 years, + other music. So overall, the pros of a routine seems to outweigh the cons, at least in my case. But I'm open to this idea, like Wayne described more to break out of this slump. I might go bungee jumping.  But when something works, don't change it.

A thread about *routines* could of been interesting. Good? Bad?


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

jaeroe @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> short term - you mentioned the difficulty the last 2 months or so, when you started exercising daily. exercise can alter brain chemistry. usually it is helpful in fighting depression (writer's block, and all the things you talk of are depressive characteristics.... all extremely common with us creative types). but, some people are different. you may have disturbed some sort of balance you had going on for yourself. i'd experiment with exercising 3 days a week for 30-45 minutes each time, no more, for a few weeks.



I find this interesting, I didn't dare to say it, fearing sounding stupid, but I think there could be some truth there, I also feel that this is what's going on.


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## EastWest Lurker (Mar 18, 2013)

Routines are good, you just have to know when to take a break from them before you return to them.


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## Peter Alexander (Mar 18, 2013)

From a different angle, Guy, I see a spirit of fear and a spirit of perfectionism. One you have to choose to reject - Fear Not!

The other must be moderated to as best as possible as no midi mock-up is perfect since we work with imperfect tools, and no performance is perfect since music performance is subject to feel and personal interpretation.


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## jaeroe (Mar 18, 2013)

if you talk to successful composers - most of them have some sort of routine. i've worked for a few, some have been quite successful. the most successful had a routine. i worked for another guy who did fine, but did a lot of drugs and drank a lot thinking he needed it to be creative. he was one who thought you need a "spark" to be creative and had to find it elsewhere. in my experience, the spark is us, we just need to figure out a way to relate to things well - a way that works for us, and that will vary for people. the real key is - if you put the time in, it will come together. routines help with putting the time.

in his book ON WRITING stephen king makes an outstanding arguement for having a routine and a place to work. there's much more to it, but the highlight is something like "you have a creative person living in you who does that magic work - give him/her a time and place to be on duty, and eventually the magic will be delivered."


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## Lex (Mar 18, 2013)

What a great discussion. 

You say you question every note, I think it's essential to question every note we write but only within context. I mean, if it's perfect? Perfect for what? For who? If you are not writing for picture or theater and if you are not writing to please the masses and sell CDs, then you should try to express something, a feeling , a thought, a color, a smell, a memory. Once you have the context it's much easier to judge if the not is perfect for what you are writing about.

The way I see it without something to write about you are just trying to "be a better composer", which is pretty much masturbation and you might as well watch porn instead. Unless you are trying to perfect your orchestration craft, in which case just work your ass off with planned tasks, but don't try to compose. 

Anyhow...just my thoughts. 

alex


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## Lex (Mar 18, 2013)

*double*


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## dgburns (Mar 18, 2013)

Based on what you describe,I have a feeling you may be ready to step up your game to another level.
Seems what once satisfied you does not any longer,and to me that's a tell tale sign of growing,and possibly wanting more from your writing.
I also think it's really courageous of you to admit self-doubt,and that could also mean that your confidence level is actually going up not down.

Your writing is fabulous beyond a doubt,everyone here knows that.


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## rgames (Mar 18, 2013)

Collaboration is a great way to get creative ideas back into your head.

It doesn't have to be formal collaboration - just get into a room and start talking with people about the ideas you're rejecting. Such conversation often leads to interesting ideas.

rgames


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## rgames (Mar 18, 2013)

Collaboration is a great way to get creative ideas back into your head.

It doesn't have to be formal collaboration - just get into a room and start talking with people about the ideas you're rejecting. Such conversation often leads to interesting ideas.

rgames


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## EastWest Lurker (Mar 18, 2013)

The time to "question every note" is however AFTER the piece is written, not while writing it.


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## impressions (Mar 18, 2013)

Guy Bacos @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> impressions @ Mon Mar 18 said:
> 
> 
> > routines are bad
> ...


i didn't mean bad in general-just bad for composing. routines don't make me compose better-different experience do however. if you always do the same thing, how can something new emerge? I guess this works for different people, since i heard a pianist does a 2 week exercise of scales-nothing else. and then go improvising like crazy on his gig..beat this.

go nuts here and there? also not my phrasing-be more brave and initiative, get more film gigs, theaters..no idea...whatever you think will be the next step for you-and tackle it.
if you're bringing these subjects then your brain is telling you he's ready to do something else now, thank you very much(brain).


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## Arbee (Mar 18, 2013)

dgburns @ Tue Mar 19 said:


> Based on what you describe,I have a feeling you may be ready to step up your game to another level.
> Seems what once satisfied you does not any longer,and to me that's a tell tale sign of growing,and possibly wanting more from your writing.
> I also think it's really courageous of you to admit self-doubt,and that could also mean that your confidence level is actually going up not down.
> 
> Your writing is fabulous beyond a doubt,everyone here knows that.


Guy, I think dgburns is on the money here. Is it really self-doubt or more restlessness? Is it possible you've reached a point in your musical development where you are so comfortable and familiar with your craft that it seems to lack that "spark"? Rather than being a worry, this can be your subconscious getting ready to "step it up another level". You obviously have your fitness in hand so it's not that.

.


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## jaeroe (Mar 18, 2013)

i'm telling you, i really think you'll get a lot out of the stephen king book. it goes into great detail about a lot of the stuff people are talking about here.

one of the things he talks about is his formula: read a lot, write a lot. for us, it's check out a ton of music (listening and scores, as appropriate), and spend a lot of time making music. it's easy to forget to check out new music, but there is a lot to offer us in that. he also talks about learning just as much from something that is bad, as something that is good. he talks about having a time and place where your are ass to chair slogging it out, but also allowing yourself some distance, so your brain can make associative connections without a gun to the head. there is a ton of great stuff in there.

deadlines and routines are great, but they shouldn't be straight jackets. i think it's important to allow yourself some opportunities to be unshackled and really creative - allow yourself to stretch creatively. otherwise, it can get to be a drag. no everything you do has to see the light of day. i had one teacher (pretty well known guy) who would give himself these limitations or challenges - write a piece without using 3rds, or whatever. it makes you think in different ways. he would try to find his own crutches and then take them away, see where it would take him. definitely worked for him!


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

Lex @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> What a great discussion.
> 
> You say you question every note, I think it's essential to question every note we write but only within context. I mean, if it's perfect? Perfect for what? For who? If you are not writing for picture or theater and if you are not writing to please the masses and sell CDs, then you should try to express something, a feeling , a thought, a color, a smell, a memory. Once you have the context it's much easier to judge if the not is perfect for what you are writing about.
> 
> ...



The problem is not the notes, it's the inspiration guiding me to these notes. Once the inspiration is there, everything falls into place so easily. *What is inspiration?* Hmm, probably would need another thread for that alone. But to write music, I never ever needed a project to be inspired, inspiration always came so naturally, and I know it will come back (unfortunately for some  ) 

Adapting to my new fitness routine seems to make sense, my brains is probably very confused these days, saying: "What the fuck is going on here? We are getting signals to work every part of the body, this is way overtime for us sleeping blood cells." I would think the creative side of the brain must drain a fair amount of energy from the body. So if the body needs to recover from head to toe after a work out, this leaves little left for what use to be all for the brains. I know after a while the body will adapt to the needs, but for now this seems to make sense.


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 18, 2013)

dgburns @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> I also think it's really courageous of you to admit self-doubt,and that could also mean that your confidence level is actually going up not down.




Well, I thought of this, and it's not something you want confide to a public forum, but I also knew it wouldn't take anything away from what I can already do (or use to do, until I get it back) and rather focus on the replies I get rather than trying to look perfect, which is the first imperfection.


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## gsilbers (Mar 18, 2013)

Guy Bacos @ Mon Mar 18 said:


> dgburns @ Mon Mar 18 said:
> 
> 
> > I also think it's really courageous of you to admit self-doubt,and that could also mean that your confidence level is actually going up not down.
> ...



happens to me too. i think to a lot of people too. so good to have it talked in a smaller community like VI. 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmY4-RMB0YY

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html (http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilb ... enius.html)

http://www.ted.com/talks/david_kelley_how_to_build_your_creative_confidence.html (http://www.ted.com/talks/david_kelley_h ... dence.html)

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html (http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilb ... enius.html)


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

So far, time permitting, I've just watched the John Cleese talks about what is creativity, and I could totally relate to it. Really makes sense and makes me see I need to discipline my creative time and area now that I added new disciplines in my life. A time for this and a time for that, as simple as that, don't let them merge in your mind.


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## jaeroe (Mar 21, 2013)

and i think as cleese points out, it is really beneficial to have some time doing something else, in addition to the focused time. when you're very focused in a creative pursuit, then go do something else you can have great insights when you're mind is on something else. but, you have to put that initially focused time in, as he points out.

sounds like you have a good plan. i remember starting to exercise regularly (fairly intensely, too) after several years of not having don it. it was great, i had more energy and was more focused when i was working, etc. but, i had to figure out a good routine so i could actually have good focused work time. i was used to working pretty much all the time or whenever. so, it took a little figuring out. but, now i find running and swimming are great for having some of those insights is you don't force it.


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

Right. I also talked to my gym trainer about this, and I said as an example, last Saturday I did an hour and 15 min of intense exercise bike, I felt so great I then later that day did some abdominals work out, but then for the next 2 days I didn't have the slightest creative blood cell in me. My trainer said that was too much in one day, and explained I should moderate my training. So it's all starting to make sense, in fact, I feel I'm already adjusting, and slowly getting the creativity back.


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## Conor (Mar 21, 2013)

When I start to get lazy, I read Steven Pressfield. And when I start to feel I'm beating myself up too much, I remember that John Cleese video. I went straight for that link when I read the thread title, but I see you're already there. 

But I have a specific question for you, Guy... is it possible to move your exercise routine out of the gym? Maybe it isn't if you're big into weight machines and such, but it sounds more like a general fitness/cardio/physical activity thing, so why not do it somewhere more inspiring?

Replace the exercise bike with a real one, and you've got a similar workout but now with a euphoric sense of motion and maybe a little hint of danger...

Replace the treadmill with plain walking/jogging outside, and now you're noticing how the sky changes, and how the birds dance around each other in spring, and how this block seems so nice but really it's just a facade... Whereas in the gym, you'd probably just be zoned out or stuck in your own head, not having many "new experiences" to draw on.

Depending on where you live, of course.


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## mverta (Mar 21, 2013)

Whenever I start to doubt myself, I give a woman an orgasm; cures it every time. 

For awhile, at least. Mysteriously, self-doubt returns often.



_Mike


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## Conor (Mar 21, 2013)

Hypothesis: the more self-doubt you have, Mike, the more you get to return to Step 1? :lol:


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

mverta @ Thu Mar 21 said:


> Whenever I start to doubt myself, I give a woman an orgasm; cures it every time.
> 
> _Mike



Very happy for you, Mike.


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

CobraTrumpet @ Thu Mar 21 said:


> When I start to get lazy, I read Steven Pressfield. And when I start to feel I'm beating myself up too much, I remember that John Cleese video. I went straight for that link when I read the thread title, but I see you're already there.
> 
> But I have a specific question for you, Guy... is it possible to move your exercise routine out of the gym? Maybe it isn't if you're big into weight machines and such, but it sounds more like a general fitness/cardio/physical activity thing, so why not do it somewhere more inspiring?
> 
> ...




That's interesting. I am thinking of purchasing an exercise machine, not sure which yet, so I could do it in my home environment, however, I know you are talking about outdoors. This summer, I'm looking forward to playing tennis outdoors, rather than indoors as I have been doing since September, 2012. And I will be taking walks in the mountain, I'm very lucky to live beside a nice mountain. I think that will help a lot. However, I'll still keep the gym program, since I'm now starting to adjust to this, it's much less dramatic as it was a few weeks ago, and I think the adaptation here is key. Thanks for your tips!


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## Scrianinoff (Mar 21, 2013)

This thread reminds me of a few articles I read years ago, which helped me a lot. Here is one: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/free-your-mind-a-scientific-approach-to-unleashing-creativity-419575.html (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/scien ... 19575.html)

It's probably not just altered metabolism and related blood (brain) chemistry that's having an effect on your (creative) mind. It's likely also a psychological effect of this new job and new training routine that creates a different mindset. What helped me, after more than 15 years suffering from this, is to acknowledge when I am in a rut again, that I am being too beta wave dominant, in other words too anxious, too self-aware, too self-doubting, and too 'rational'. From that moment I make an effort to really relax and shut down the eagle eyes watching every mental move. Meditating on a few slow random chords or random note sequences can start the dreamlike creative process again.

In fact there is some science behind Mike's funny bragging: http://scienceline.org/2006/09/ask-wenner-sex/ It helps us relax and gets us out of a beta dominant mindset.

Or as Stravinsky once said: "In order to create there must be a dynamic force, and what force is more potent than love?"


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

Scrianinoff @ Thu Mar 21 said:


> It's likely also a psychological effect of this new job and new training routine that creates a different mindset.



Oh absolutely. In fact that's what I also meant in saying "adapting". My mind is now relaxing, going to the gym now is taking less space in my brains, psychologically. I think for a while it dominated me. Looking forward checking out these links.


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

Scrianinoff @ Thu Mar 21 said:


> In fact there is some science behind Mike's funny bragging: http://scienceline.org/2006/09/ask-wenner-sex/ It helps us relax and gets us out of a beta dominant mindset.



Don't encourage him. 

There's no holding back in that area, but I'm waiting to see the correlation between human sex machines and creators.


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## nickhmusic (Mar 21, 2013)

Whenever I start to doubt myself I swear loudly at my guitar.


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## germancomponist (Mar 21, 2013)

mverta @ Thu Mar 21 said:


> Whenever I start to doubt myself, I give a woman an orgasm; cures it every time.
> 
> For awhile, at least. Mysteriously, self-doubt returns often.
> 
> ...



+1

Without joking, this is a very good recipe! Helps me always! o-[][]-o o=<


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

germancomponist @ Thu Mar 21 said:


> mverta @ Thu Mar 21 said:
> 
> 
> > Whenever I start to doubt myself, I give a woman an orgasm; cures it every time.
> ...



Casanova, it's also making you a little too creative in your thread questions. :wink:


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

nickhmusic @ Thu Mar 21 said:


> Whenever I start to doubt myself I swear loudly at my guitar.



Ah yes, I heard about the John McEnroe approach.


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## mverta (Mar 21, 2013)

I don't know what you girls are giggling about, but I'm not kidding...

The cure for self-doubt is self-confidence, and if surveying the breathless ecstasy of a satisfied lover doesn't recharge your ego, I don't know what would.

The murky world of music composition is highly subjective, but giving an orgasm is refreshingly objective. It's pass/fail, and primal. And on the wave of that renewed sense of power, boldly go!


Try it. If it doesn't work, it's still more fun than whatever else you were going to try. 

_Mike


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

It looks like Mike is in love these days.


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## mverta (Mar 21, 2013)

Frequently. 

It may not be for very long periods of _time_, necessarily, but...


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

It's not I want to mock this orgasm approach, and it looks very interesting, I'm looking forward to bang all the woman on my street this week, not sure if the wife will appreciate it though. Seriously, I've never been a fan of these one sided approach. Like try this and it will change your life. I think it's multiple factors to create a balanced life. 2nd of all, a healthier body will give you more sexual pleasure, so why not start with exercising, jogging, get your heart pumping and release the stress. 3rd, keeping that temple of yours sacred for all creativity purposes, discipline your time for this as well. 
The John Cleese video explains it well. And other things as well I'm not mentioning. But it's like a car, all the parts have to work well for the car to move.


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## mverta (Mar 21, 2013)

Who said it was the only thing that works? It's _a_ thing that works, for me. You asked, I answered. If you're only asking a question so you can provide the answer, then don't ask the question, just pontificate at will.


_Mike


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 21, 2013)

The way I got the answer or conclusion was through 40 posts of good advice from many people, and it all made sense to me at the end. I didn't have the answer on post No 2. Have you noticed other posts than yours? But I'm happy to hear your orgasms are doing wonders for your moments of self doubt and it gets your inspiration flowing. Thanks for your input.

ps Imagine what creative force Ron Jeremy could of been had he studied music.


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## Scrianinoff (Mar 21, 2013)

Guy Bacos @ Fri 22 Mar said:


> ps Imagine what creative force Ron Jeremy could of been had he studied music.


Well, maybe he IS a great composer and he knows he can only be seen as one after his death. Most probably with all the orgasm induced creativity he has built up an enormous future legacy of great compositions completely eclipsing Bach, Beethoven, Ravel, Stravinsky, Meshugga, take your pick. Since there is not an atom in his body still capable of self doubt it is also very easy for him to keep this secret, because he _knows_ that in time he will be revered as the greatest composer of all time. In the meantime he has a great time, and does not need the attention or the money that his music would attract. What a life!


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## Guy Rowland (Mar 21, 2013)

Guy Bacos @ Fri Mar 22 said:


> It's not I want to mock this orgasm approach, and it looks very interesting, I'm looking forward to bang all the woman on my street this week, not sure if the wife will appreciate it though. Seriously, I've never been a fan of these one sided approach. Like try this and it will change your life. I think it's multiple factors to create a balanced life. 2nd of all, a healthier body will give you more sexual pleasure, so why not start with exercising, jogging, get your heart pumping and release the stress. 3rd, keeping that temple of yours sacred for all creativity purposes, discipline your time for this as well.
> The John Cleese video explains it well. And other things as well I'm not mentioning. But it's like a car, all the parts have to work well for the car to move.



Well this has been a wide ranging thread, eh?  

I was thinking about this yesterday as I was watching a BBC Horizon documentary about creativity. It was looking at some recent neuroscience research related to the human ability to come up with ideas - creative or imaginative leaps. Very interesting, and quite counter-intuitive in some areas - it's to do with our neural network, and apparently the more meandering and slower it is, the more creative we can be (as opposed to raw intelligence, which tends to be the opposite).

They looked at two simple practical things folks can do that can supposedly break deadlocks and boost creativity. The first is concerning taking breaks. Apparently the thing to do with taking breaks is to do a very simple task - doing nothing or anything intellectually demanding isn't so good. So actually exercise is good, but there might be some science behind outdoor cycling (which has personally helped me no end) rather than the gym, in as much that it is possibly slightly more intellectually demanding, but not too much. I guess gardening or cooking is good. Perhaps the treadmill is just too much of a no-brainier... I'm speculating wildly of course. In the programme, the example used was the difference between sorting lego bricks into colour groups (good) and building a model out of them (bad).

The second area was even more bizarre, and this is to break routine. This can be in the most mundane way. The example they used was in making a Dutch breakfast in a different order - rather than putting chocolate chips onto bread, put the chocolate chips on the plate first, then put the bread and butter on top of that. Seems kinda absurd, but apparently disrupting the familiar routines is a good thing.

I guess it's important to recognise though that neither of these might be applicable to your situation, Guy. If the root cause for the block is more to do with self-confidence than just a creative block, then the solution I guess would be different - possibly involving psychiatry? I guess there's a good reason why so many great sportsmen and women have psychologists. Dave Brailsford, head of the Sky Cycling team and British Cycling, is very hot on this. Apparently he was saying last week there needs to be more of this in football and (in all seriousness) could help England's legendary inability to take penalties. I seem to remember that you're a tennis fan, Guy - it's really obvious in Tennis, isn't it? A HUGE part of that sport is pure psychology, it certainly makes all the difference between the merely good tennis player and the great.

And of course as a composer you're in great company. That recent video interviewing loads of A list composers ahead of the Oscars... they pretty much all said, as Hans does, that they are consumed by self-doubt, the universal refrain seemed to be "forget about me, hire a real composer". Perhaps VI Control needs a Psychology section?


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## germancomponist (Mar 22, 2013)

Guy,

in addition to the orgasms ... o/~ 

Previously I used to work around the clock. 14 hours and more a day were not uncommon. Then I got sick and have therefore changed my life completely. I have a very large house and a much larger plot with gardens, meadow, trees and a small hut. All garden work I do myself, I paint the garage, mow the lawns, trim the trees and I cook every day (except weekends). All this gives me a lot of fun and gives me an optimal balance. While I cook I always listen to classical music. Since I have changed my lifestyle, I am doing very well. When self-doubts creep in, then I direct myself with other work. Any other achievement is good and builds up me again, distributes the self-doubt.


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 22, 2013)

Thanks Guy for your post on this interesting documentary. I recently saw on the net this *neuroactive bike*, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z787V4Y-B6k (here). This could be along the lines you are talking about. Last time I was at the gym doing my complete work out, I was regularly talking with my trainer, asking questions, while doing the work out and cardio, I enjoyed that more, and I also noticed 2 women doing treadmill very engaged in a conversation with each other, and although it gave the appearance of not focusing on their exercise, it was probably better this way. So you may have a point.


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## germancomponist (Mar 22, 2013)

Guy Bacos @ Fri Mar 22 said:


> Casanova, it's also making you a little too creative in your thread questions. :wink:



Hu huhhhh


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## Dean (Mar 23, 2013)

Hey Guy,

its cliched but true,..if you want to find something stop looking,it will find you again.
Thats how I met my wife too.

When you simply get on with life and just absorb and listen and let everything just wash over you you it always returns out of the blue.Worked for me a few times.D


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## Guy Bacos (Mar 23, 2013)

The self doubt problem seem to have gone now. In a way, I feel bad about looking for all sorts of answers on this thread when the answer came down to just getting adapted to this new discipline, physically as much as mentally. Now I get home from the gym or tennis, and am able to say: Now, it's composition time, and know I still have that energy in me. It's day and night compared to when I started this thread. But I found all the posts very interesting, and it's good to know the various options from taking walks outdoors to... banging some chicks.  

Thanks all!

Now back to writing! o-[][]-o


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## germancomponist (Mar 23, 2013)

Guy Bacos @ Sat Mar 23 said:


> Now back to writing! o-[][]-o


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## AlexRuger (Apr 7, 2013)

"The pro toils at the front door technique so that genius may enter through the back."--Steven Pressfield

We all go through it. Find yourself a deadline to meet and it'll pull you out of this muck by the bootstraps.

Working out may be making you mentally tired, but in the long run it's _only_ a good thing. Any mental tiredness you feel is temporary. You'll adapt.


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