# How do you balance your life around composing work? (Or the other way around!)



## Danny_Owen (Nov 6, 2010)

Hey guys.

So there I was, 3.30pm on a Friday afternoon, no projects on at all, so I'm thinking 'ah, might be a nice weekend off', it clocks round to 4pm and Bam! 2 agencies call up within 20 minutes of each other and say they want advert demos done over the weekend ready for Monday morning. Both of these are unpaid but both have given me paid demos before and I've had a commission off one so I know I'm not wasting my time entirely by pitching for free (I think they would offer a demo fee if they were able to).

This happens to me a lot, and I'd imagine to everyone else as well. There is just zero predictability at all as to when the work will come in, and the work typically has such short deadlines that the only way to do it is to drop all your current plans and get on with it.

I've only just left Uni and I've been lucky enough over the past month to have earned more money than I have before (within the space of a month) in the entire rest of my life, including a spell as a Head Chef (which was a pretty fair wage). So for now at least I'm working as a full time composer- there are no other jobs getting in the way. But how do you balance your social life/girlfriend/family/ whatever?

If there's anyone who's found a way to balance everything fairly well I'd love to hear your secret. So far I've barely turned down a single job that has come my way, but there are times when... you know...?!

I hope to get to the position where I'm busy and successful enough that I don't have to pitch for every single little unpaid demo that comes along, certainly having 2 commisions this month has helped my confidence.

How do you qualify when plans that you've already arranged are ok to cancel, and when they are not? And if you tell the you client 'I'm sorry I'm not available for this one' what do you give as a reason why?

Any thoughts?

Danny


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## noiseboyuk (Nov 6, 2010)

It is very hard, especially early on in a career when you need the work. But, imho, if it's an important life thing, I'd drop the work. This is why I probably won't be scoring Hollywood blockbusters (oh yeah, and a lack of talent). But for me - mostly - life wins. I think the key is to not ALWAYS do this though, cos then the calls really will dry up. I guess it's just choosing your battles!

Also, do you need to give a reason why you are unavailable? For all your client knows, you are scoring the latest Speilberg movie....


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## RiffWraith (Nov 6, 2010)

noiseboyuk @ Sun Nov 07 said:


> For all your client knows, you are scoring the latest Speilberg movie....



Umm, the client knows _exactly_ what you are doing and not doing - in terms of film & TV at least. Or, at least they could find out if they wanted to. NEVER tell them you are working on such and such film for such and such director when you are not.

As far as the balancing thing, it is difficult, but that's the nature of the business. The unpredictability, the odd/long hours - it's all part of the game. Depending on how badly you want it, and how much you need the work, you either deal with it, and put it before anything and everything, or put life first sometimes, and potentially lose not only the current gig you are being offered, but future ones as well. Here's what I do:

When I have free time, I get caught up with everything and anything I possibly can, so that when I have a gig with a deadline, there is nothing else I need to do. I do all my laundry, dishes, clean if need be, shop for whatever I need, including extra food; the idea is to stock up on things (putting some things like meat, etc. in the feezer) so that I don't need to leave the house unless an emergency arises. I get my oil changed, and deal with anything my car may need. I also try to get caught up with emails, and relationships as well. If, say, I haven't spoken to one of my friends in a while that I have been meaning to call and spend a couple of hours with on the phone, I do that during my free time, in case they call while I am working - I don't have to blow them off. 

Cheers.


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## noiseboyuk (Nov 6, 2010)

RiffWraith @ Sat Nov 06 said:


> Umm, the client knows _exactly_ what you are doing and not doing - in terms of film & TV at least. Or, at least they could find out if they wanted to. NEVER tell them you are working on such and such film for such and such director when you are not.



Uh-uh. you misunderstand me. I was arguing you don't need to say WHY you are unavailable, not make up BS! In my experience, if you say, "sorry I can't..." then they rarely (ever?) ask why. That said, if all your work is through a single agency (mine isn't) then it doesn't work that way. Also this is in the context of "are you free to knock up something over the weekend?"


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## RiffWraith (Nov 6, 2010)

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## dannthr (Nov 7, 2010)

Dude, it's tough.

Especially with relationships, man... the strain is hard.

It's funny, we are immersed in an art that can only be appreciated over time yet we are constantly in a position where we wish we could simply stop time.


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## Danny_Owen (Nov 8, 2010)

Cheers for the replies guys, sorry I took a while to get back, only just finished on the pitches!

I find that if I say 'I'm afraid I'm not available for this one', if it's on the phone then they usually do ask 'Oh, what are you working on?'- my generic answer has i guess now turned into 'a business video', simply because it's low profile enough to possibly be true (even if it's not), and enough work that it means you wouldn't be able to do that and pitch for an advert at the same time!

Guy - yes this is in the context of 'are you free to knock up something over the weekend'- is it quite normal to say 'no' do you think, just because it's the weekend? I don't have too many commitments so I tend to take the weekend gigs anyway, but I can imagine for some people the weekend would be the only real time they get to see their family/kids/whatever, must be tricky.

Some good advice Riff, I think I'll try and do the same. In the past week or two I've been finding that by having the free time that you would like (evenings, weekends) ripped away from you, you start to appreciate the time you DO have off a lot more, and I've started making much better use of my free time.

I guess my thoughts are fairly in line with yours Guy, that life, in the end, should come first. I didn't get into the industry to screw everything else in my life up, but I know that's a side effect! :-P Luckily at this stage of my career I have few enough obligations that I can generally get stuck in, and most of the people in my life have started accepting that I can't control when I have to work, so they no longer get pissed at me for bailing on them. I guess my main worry, as Dan said, is relationships in the future. I suppose I'll just have to deal with that hurdle when it comes!


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## autopilot (Nov 8, 2010)

Question for everyone generally - do you think the guys at the top of the tree balance their lives better or worse that you?

Does anyone think they are at their current career level because they are fully work driven - or to rephrase - do you think that life / work priorities have effected your career in a good or bad way?


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## noiseboyuk (Nov 8, 2010)

Good questions, autopilot - and I don't know the answers. Guessing, I think many / most people in the top echelon have had to make massive sacrifices in their personal lives. When I was much younger, I think I might have felt that way, but not now. I hope this is age and wisdom talking, but however passionate I am about my art, even in creative endeavours the things that have been the most rewarding of all are friendships that have come out of them. Profoundly so in my case.

I suspect there are a few lucky souls who have managed both. If you get the right project at the right time, and work with the director who really only wants to work with you, I guess you can strike lucky. Even there, common to everyone I guess is that you'll still have times where you drop everything / don't see anyone. It's case of whether or not this is a necessary part of your life, of if it defines it.


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## Hannes_F (Nov 8, 2010)

Perhaps a little warning is in order since I might be older than most here (turning 46 soon) and perhaps speaking with some experience. 

I am in the lucky situation that my wife is not only the person that I am married to but she is also my best friend in the sense of my soulmate, and this is something incredibly valuable to my whole being. I have been lucky in the sense that she grew into understanding my workload over years, so she accepts the necessities. Probably everybody needs to find out how important this sort of partnership is for her/him individually and in case he/she finds that this is of value then try to care for it already in younger years, and stick to it, and cultivate it. I know some fellows that thought they could refrain from caring for the relationship to a special someone in younger years only to find themselves in a single situation later where basically every thought gyrates around finding a partner, which might be much more difficult then. 

Lately I have been noticing a growing unhappiness of my wife with the fact that I am gigging nearly every weekend additionally to working in the studio during the week. There are signs of alarm and the cure is to make up with quality time instead of quantity time. If you have a partner try to dedicate some time, quality and intensity into that direction, no matter how huge the workload is.


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## midphase (Nov 8, 2010)

I'm down with Hannes, and I think you reach a certain age where this last minute week-end bullshit is just unacceptable.

Personally I think that an unpaid cattle-call is not worth cancelling pre-existing week-end plans for. Just simply say you can't do it and move on...if they ask why, tell them because you're unwilling to give up your week-end for no money on a teeny tiny possibility of making up some dough way down the line...as I'm sure the ad agency guys wouldn't either.

Trust me, they have a demo budget, all ad agencies do (and if they don't...well then you have no business working with them because they must be at the very bottom of the barrel themselves), they're just giving that demo $$$ to someone else that they value more, and they're telling you they don't because they know that you'll still give up your week-end for free anyway.


All I can say is, life and relationships are way too precious and valuable to give up the good bits to some assholes for nothing. If you don't agree, you will agree someday when you catch your wife in bed with your best friend and even your dog won't give you the time of day anymore.


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## wst3 (Nov 8, 2010)

midphase @ Mon Nov 08 said:


> <some good info snipped>
> Trust me, they have a demo budget, all ad agencies do (and if they don't...well then you have no business working with them because they must be at the very bottom of the barrel themselves), they're just giving that demo $$$ to someone else that they value more, and they're telling you they don't because they know that you'll still give up your week-end for free anyway.


This may be the single most important bit of advice any of us can receive - and it is a topic that comes up here pretty regularly.

On the one hand, people value things based on what they cost... not saying it is smart or right or anything positive really, but it is reality. If you do a lot of free gigs for someone then the expectation is that you always will. Not a good thing.

On the other hand, getting started means sometime taking on a pitch for free... or even a project. When that happens you want to make sure you are going to enjoy it - either the people, or the challenge, but you have to enjoy it.

I reinforce this because...



midphase @ Mon Nov 08 said:


> All I can say is, life and relationships are way too precious and valuable to give up the good bits to some assholes for nothing.<more snippage>



It is a balancing act, and one that each of us has to figure out for themselves. If there is an answer out there I haven't heard it yet, and I'm older than Hans<G>!

If it makes anyone feel any better, it is not just composers, or even artists, that feel the pinch.

Many years ago I was establishing myself as a studio technician and designer. (Yes, this was before the ADAT and DAWs<G>!) and I took on a couple of projects for a pretty deep discount to build my reputation. The reputation I built was that I was willing to work for nothing, or nearly nothing.

But I caught a lucky break - the folks in the next town over had not heard that I was a poor businessman, and I was able to get lots of work there for more than reasonable rates. And that eventually worked it's way back to my home turf. I got lucky - no question about it.

The fact that the entire market for that sort of service dried up overnight was really just unfortunate. That is the way things go sometimes.

So, on the music production side I do take on projects for nothing - but, I limit it to one type of project, and it is helping me to develop a name for myself. I really love live theatre, I've been involved since the mid 1970s as a player in pit bands, a lighting designer, and a sound designer. About ten years ago a director with whom I've produced many shows asked me to write a score for "A Midsummer Night's Dream." I did, it worked out well. I went on to write scores for a couple other Shakespeare plays, my favorite being "The Tempest." At which point the audience for really bizarre interpretations of Shakespeare dried up. Oh well.

I think the key, at least for me, is that I really wanted to be involved in those productions. I'd have been involved no matter what, in some role or another. The chance to write music, and in one case play the music, was just too much to pass up.

So that's how I balance the free projects. And I am lucky that my wife is almost as much a fan of live theatre as I am... in fact she played in the pit for "The Tempest."


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## midphase (Nov 8, 2010)

Well...Danny stated that he got a commission off of one before which in my book that means that they sold one of his spots and hence he's proven himself.

I also speak from personal experience on this one as I got caught up in a while with these types of cattle calls (which always seem to happen late Friday afternoons...hmmm) and I found that when I looked at the big picture it simply wasn't worth it.

For me the breaking point came when time after time after time I would see the winning spot and it sounded almost exactly like what I had submitted...either it means someone was ripping my ideas off, or it means that the decision process is so random that somebody can pass you up and go with someone who sounds almost identical...either way not a good situation.

I think if Danny was bored out of his mind this past week-end, and wanted to put his free time to some use...then why not? However for him to cancel plans just to appease some agency jerkoffs seems like a waste of good lifetime.

Lastly...this type of stuff doesn't happen anywhere else outside of this damn industry. Go find a car mechanic willing to give up his Sunday just so that he can try to fix your car on the off chance that you might pay him if you like his work...or not pay him at all. Go find a gardener, a grocery store worked, a chef, a...

Know what I mean? Come on...let's stop doing this to ourselves. Perhaps if Danny keeps saying "no" and they really value his contribution, next time they'll "magically" come up with some demo money at least (still crap...but better than nothing).


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## Danny_Owen (Nov 8, 2010)

It does seem to be the late Friday afternoons that the non-paid demos come in..! Hmm. 

I think I'll definitely have to start being a bit more firm with it for the weekends at the least (especially when I have plans), though the agencies I'm dealing with now are being reasonably fair, and I've only been with each for 2 months.

One agency I deal with has 4 producers, each who've now tried me out on a project- the first demo with each producer was free (which I think is fair enough), and after that I got a demo fee on the 2nd one I did with one of them, and today I got offered a guaranteed job from another one of them, and would have accepted except that I don't play the Ukelele (and it was as a solo instrument that they needed, samples would have struggled for this one). So as far as repeat business is going, they have offered a demo fee / guaranteed job on everything since the first one for each producer.

The other agency has just one producer and I've had demo fees on about 50% of the jobs I've done for them. This is the one I've had the commission off. I know they have very limited amounts of writers (I've met them and actually been through all the jobs that the agency put forward for one pitch). The risk of saying 'no' too much with these guys is that they may well drop me, and I do like being in with such a small agency. So long as I get a demo fee from them at least 50% of the time I'd probably be content, but much less than that would be taking the piss a bit. 

At this stage of my career (I've only been out of Uni two months) I'd be a little scared of pissing the agencies I've got off- they're a lot more fair than the agencies I used for past the year and a half (whilst I was at Uni). I don't know whether it's the same in the States, but in London there seem to be two types of agency- those that have Cattle (20-30+ composers and no-one except their top guys gets a demo fee, and I suspect you're right about the stealing of ideas, I've had the same thing happen) or there are smaller ones, like the ones I'm now dealing with. 

I do absolutely agree Kays, there will probably come a time when it's just not worth it on the weekend for no demo fee (for adverts at least). In fact I've stopped dealing with any agencies that never offered me a demo fee at all. For now I can't afford the risk though - 50% of the time is about acceptable for now especially as I don't have too many commitments. Anything that I have on that is pre-organised and/or important to me I'll always put before unpaid pitching on the weekend for a lottery draw though.

Cheers for the advice  , I'll certainly think twice before giving up my weekend for free again for that kind of project. Don't want to undersell myself, even if I have only recently graduated. On the other side as you said, if I have nothing planned and haven't worked in a while it probably wouldn't hurt to do a few.


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## dannthr (Nov 8, 2010)

Danny_Owen @ Mon Nov 08 said:


> and would have accepted except that I don't play the Ukelele (and it was as a solo instrument that they needed, samples would have struggled for this one).



You DON'T have to do this. You seem an internet savvy enough of a fellow to realize you have a wealth of hungry ukelele players at your cyber-fingertips. Never turn down a gig because YOU can't play the instrument unless it's a performance gig--as composers we should always have our ears out for instrumentalists and their fee should be calculated in.



> So as far as repeat business is going, they have offered a demo fee / guaranteed job on everything since the first one for each producer.
> 
> [...](I've only been out of Uni two months) I'd be a little scared of pissing the agencies I've got off- they're a lot more fair than the agencies I used for past the year and a half (whilst I was at Uni).



You need to realize that you're doing spectacularly and that getting anything like regular work 2 months out of school is quite the exception.

Pace yourself, you're doing fine.

The relationships are going to be tough, especially romantic and familial ones.


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## Danny_Owen (Nov 9, 2010)

Mike, you're right on that one. A lot of hungry people out there! I don't want to come over all diva-ish, I'm not saying that I refuse point blank to work weekends or times where I have other plans. I expect for TV shows and Film it's a necessary evil, but at least you know there's a paycheck at the end of it.

My problem is more with the regular unpaid demos where they have a tonne of composer pitching for the same advert, and it's a complete lottery. For something like a TV series or Film I'd be a lot more up for it. I just don't want to get too comfortable pitching for free, otherwise they will get used to it- and it is a lot of work at the end of the day because there's no point doing it at all if you're just going to submit something sub-standard.

I'm fortunate that I have very supportive friends and family, but I can't see any woman that would be happy with her man always putting the work first. If you know one, point me in her direction! 

Cheers Dan, yes I do feel pretty lucky to be in the position I'm in, certainly no-one else on my course has had such luck yet. Conversely, someone I used to vaguely know at school in the year below me started working for Zimmer & Powell straight out of college, but they had contacts that you wouldn't believe. As they say it's who you know (but of course he had the orchestral chops to back it up as well).

I did consider hiring a Ukelele player but it was a 24hr deadline and in honesty a very low paid job (it was for an internal business video), there really wouldn't have been a lot left over after paying the session musician. But this is true, I need to build up a list of local musicians I can call upon when I need it, cheers for the tip.

Word.


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## Markus S (Nov 9, 2010)

Yes, you are doing fine, you are starting out very well. It's OK to work on some week-end, extremely tight deadlines in the beginning, until 4 am, I don't think there is anyone here who hasn't. It's also good you are asking yourself the right questions already. It's your choice, really, how and when you work. You work the week-ends? Fine, you work on regular work hours, fine. 

There is no right or wrong to this, personally I don't work on week-ends, I don't even have to justify it. It's just a fact. If a really urgent project comes in, it's very exciting, well payed, I will consider it. But at some point you have to stop working and relax, that can be Monday or Tuesday, but you can't work around the clock, all days of the year. You need to take break, a vacation or you will not be able to write (good) music anymore.

On the other hand, people asking us composers to throw out lat minute genius themes have to ask themselves if it is not possible to get organized and let the composer TIME to write quality music, because it does take time. If I write a theme it can take a whole week, I may throw away 5-10 ideas, and only keep the one that is haunting me night and day..  Then I may take it and turn it in all possible direction, to finally keep the initial form. 

So, I think it's in the interest of the client to leave the composer in the best possible situation to write great music. Which implies of course.. the payed pitch. Because before I can justify spending so much time on the pitching lottery, I'd rather go with a project that grants me material security. So, I'd even say, it's in the interest of the client to pay for the pitch, because when you are payed, you will really spend all the necessary effort and time to get the job done.

As a matter of fact, you can only take so many non-payed pitches anyway, because at some time you have to get payed, or you have to choose another job.


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## midphase (Nov 9, 2010)

mverta @ Mon Nov 08 said:


> In my experience, the best of the best don't "balance" their lives; the work comes first, and everything and everyone else comes second. The smart ones surround themselves with friends and family who truly understand and support those priorities. Those people are rare, but they're out there. If you're not willing to do everything and anything, 24/7, then you have to realize there are hungrier people who will.
> 
> Maybe you'll be the exception to that truth; who knows. Worth a shot?



Hello Mike,

I think we're apples and oranges here. No doubt James Newton-Howard or Klaus Badelt work their asses off, but they are not doing it on spec and the rewards are huge for both them and their families. I'm also not advocating not putting in absolutely 100% into your work to make sure that you're always giving it your best.

However, there is also strategy to be considered here, just to blindly throw yourself at the every whim of some ad person who thinks it would be nice to have an extra couple of demos on the table for the client on Monday, while not having any concerns whatsoever for the person who is being asked to throw away his personal life it is just plain silly. On top of that, the endless flow of newcomers will make it impossible for the composer to ever achieve any sort of work standards for himself because the moment he starts demanding a bit more respect, he will be promptly replaced by the next generation of Danny.

I don't know if you have paid any attention to the efforts of the AMCL:

http://theamcl-399.org/

Perhaps even if you disagree with their actions, you might consider reading up on what has been happening to our industry in the past 30-odd years. It is pretty much imploded to the point where aside from very few exceptions it is damn near impossible to carve out a career for any newcomer. And the saddest of the facts is that we collectively have done this to ourselves, little by little, inch by inch...until we now find ourselves at the end of the road.

So I think we'll have to disagree on this one, personally I think that unless you're one of the best of the best who is being handsomely compensated for giving up one's personal life in exchange for being independently wealthy (the so called work hard, play hard mindset), I think it is important for the people in the middle to try and find a good balance between personal time and work.


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## Hannes_F (Nov 9, 2010)

... and ... afaik Hans Zimmer is married with two kids and John Williams is married with three kids (second marriage after his first wife died early). I have no insight how much their wives have to suffer from absence of their workaholic husbands though (probably not much time left in those cases).


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## dpasdernick (Dec 9, 2010)

The music industry definitely seems to be in a "race to the bottom" at times. Years ago, even though a bunch of people may have been composing, it was so expensive to book studio time and record your music. Nowadays, for realatively little investment, we all have the potential to record great music in a spare bedroom. We also have orchestras, ethnic instruments, etc at our fingertips. This all boils down to a ton of people writing music and looking for ooportunities to get paid for it. 

When one of us tries to "balance" our lives by taking a weekend off there are 100's of guys that would take that opportunity. For every millionarie Hans Zimmer there are thousands of dudes battling it out for a break. 

I do not make a living as a composer. I always wanted to be a rock star and make my living churning out the hits. But I wanted to be more like Steely Dan and not have to tour. (big dreams right?) I think that ship has sailed my friends.

Darren


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