# Children's Theme - Orchestral



## Dracarys (Jan 3, 2011)

A short Children's Theme song, always open for critiques!

http://soundcloud.com/anthony-casalena/childrens-theme


----------



## adg21 (Jan 3, 2011)

nice, where's the whistle coming from?

Are the woodwind runs Hollywood winds?

i feel it needs more in the first half, something in the bass range perhaps?


----------



## Dracarys (Jan 3, 2011)

I agree completely, something IS missing in the first half, at around 35 seconds I layered some brass to the string melody, it is very subtle tho.
Thanks for your words.


Anthony


----------



## noiseboyuk (Jan 3, 2011)

Nice tone! A few comments fwiw...

I think, all the way through, the tune needs to be more prominent. At the moment it's getting a little buried with the rest of the orchestration. It sounds like you're going for the preschool market, so singability is very important in this group I think. Just a thought, but maybe try experimenting with the line not exclusively staccato, sit it up in the mix and perhaps pan centrally. Support or replace with additional instruments in the 2nd half, perhaps.

I think the 2nd half needs filling out a little too, feels like it needs a fuller beat... not necessarily from percussion, but maybe the chord stabs are a little in-your-face (if that makes any sense).

The final note - is that truncated? I think the small bell hit v much, but then it seems to die off too fast. And finally, probably least important of the lot for this audience, but the strings sound really nice at the top but a little less real from 22s onwards, it's always really hard to make the samples sound real on these sorts of lines I think. As I say, by a long way I think that's the least important thing.

But again, love the tone, it has a really nice feel!


----------



## Dracarys (Jan 4, 2011)

noiseboyuk @ Tue Jan 04 said:


> Nice tone! A few comments fwiw...
> 
> I think, all the way through, the tune needs to be more prominent. At the moment it's getting a little buried with the rest of the orchestration. It sounds like you're going for the preschool market, so singability is very important in this group I think. Just a thought, but maybe try experimenting with the line not exclusively staccato, sit it up in the mix and perhaps pan centrally. Support or replace with additional instruments in the 2nd half, perhaps.
> 
> ...





I agree with being more prominent, it's always difficult finding the correct patches to make something louder yet realistic. I also wanted to leave some room for vocals.
The bell is supposed to ride out, I don't know what's happening when I'm bouncing out in logic, everything seems fine I've never ran into this problem before. I'll figure it out.
Yes I've gone through MANY patches from many libraries for the strings to sound more realistic, and I've messed with the velocity.
I also agree with the staccato's, I'm going to switch it up to make it sound more like a live player.
Thanks noise!


----------



## Dracarys (Jan 4, 2011)

johan25 @ Tue Jan 04 said:


> Casalena nice tune and mockup
> 
> To me it could use some more variation in the theme itself, perhaps an different main theme in the 2th part, other than that, good job.



Thanks Johan, I will definitely be adding to this


----------



## Dracarys (Jan 6, 2011)

I updated it subtly, tried to make it a little more prominent and less staccato towards the end.
Still trying to decide what to add to the first half becuase it does sound like it's lacking. Although there may be vocals dubbed


----------



## Dracarys (Jan 11, 2011)

Would love some feed from more v.i heads


----------



## JohnG (Jan 11, 2011)

Hi AC,

This is a good piece, but if you'll pardon my saying so, not quite there yet.

There are many good elements:

1. Woodwinds sound very good and generally mix well; 

2. The runs are well executed and you clearly understand that they need to be more than just a single instrument or "just flutes;"

3. The bells, chimes, and so on, are characteristic of the genre and there is immediately a context set through the orchestration that remains coherent and consistent;

4. Establishing a tone is vital for this style; as though you have to invite the listener to suspend disbelief (so to speak) and enjoy something whimsical, and you've done that very well indeed.

Weaknesses:

1. This genre is not repetitious harmonically -- it modulates, jumps keys, swirls, uses dissonance -- it's much more lively that way than this piece, which I don't think changes key and also repeats the same few chords many times;

2. The string arpeggio is very simple -- just outlining a three-note chord -- and overly repetitious. Check out John Williams' scores and see how he does it. He conducted everything from Armed Forces bands to pop arrangements to serious concert pieces to -- naturally -- his own brilliant stuff; and he presents a workshop in almost every score of how the divisi works and how to vary the background / accompanying material either rhythmically, harmonically, or even melodically so that it remains part of the interest. Or check out Ravel etc.

3. The runs, gestures, and orchestration "decorations" have substituted for material too much. In places, you have the runs, but they are almost alone. The guys who do this the best -- John Debney is great at it -- always have material chugging along and the runs are integrated with the "real" music.

You are knocking at a door -- rather well, too! -- but it is a harder door to wedge through, I think, than at first it might appear. I used to write cartoon music and my first efforts had exactly the same issues I've noted in your piece. Reading scores and careful listening really helps get through the mechanics, and then one can be released a bit to feel inspiration a little more directly.


----------



## Dracarys (Jan 11, 2011)

Great critique John
You're very right, I think the main reason I didn't explore the things you listed is because of lack of motivation and expectation from another party.
Another reason is because I tried to envision a theme, with vocals, wanting to leave room and avoid complexity.
I should really buckle down and make adjustments. Inspiration has been very difficult to find for a short while.
Thank's for the advice.


----------

