# "Grieve"



## Frederick Russ (Jan 10, 2006)

Sonically I think you did well here. Really depends on the application - what may not stand in one application is fine in another (meaning - if this was put together for film then the acid test would be if this actually worked with picture.)

I think its a nice piece. However you've asked for a candid opinion - here's mine. Mind you, its just one opinion. 

I think you have some good ideas in there. Very intuitive. It sounds more like a sketch however from a writing standpoint. Like speech, there are ways to say things without either having to repeat them or redundantly go over the same topic over and over. Doing so too much makes the point less significant. However, like speech, a well placed sentence that is well thought out can replace a paragraph of trying to say essentially the same thing - therefore it is more concentrated, focused, and most importantly, more effective.

More themes don't make up for others left undeveloped. If we're going to need multiple themes we need to make sure that we take the time to develop each one to its fullest extent - remembering that less can be actually more at times. Its good to remind ourselves that themes don't have to stay in one key - we can modulate and have that theme restated which allows it to take on a new or deeper meaning. 

Thanks for sharing your piece! Having feedback is important - I've seen so many composers grow because they got informed opinions and then worked hard to improve.. Keep on.


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## Styrus (Jan 11, 2006)

Frederick Russ said:


> Having feedback is important - I've seen so many composers grow because they got informed opinions and then worked hard to improve.


 For sure! Precisely why I posted. I knew this forum would give the toughest crits, meaning the most work to improve standards, but that is what I am aiming for and am willing to work hard to achieve.

I see exactly what you mean about the speech thing. That actually helps a heck of a lot. Thanks!


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## Stephen Rees (Jan 11, 2006)

I'd agree totally with what Frederick said, and he said is far more eloquently and succinctly than I could 

When I started out, I thought every piece had to be long. 10 minutes? I've heard a million 10 minute pieces I thought, so I should be able to knock that kind of thing out easily. WRONG! he he. It is actually really hard to sustain musical ideas for that long. You've got to have the right idea and all the right tools for developing the ideas (modulation, orchestration, variation, development..........) and know how to handle them. 5 minutes is a long time too.

I actually found it (and still do) far more useful as a learning process to do shorter pieces. I learn far more taking on 5 one minute pieces in different styles than trying to do a single 5 minute piece. Not that the skill of being able to write a 5 or 10 minute piece isn't important, it is just that I'm not a symphony composer so it isn't that useful to me.

Having said that, I like the ideas in the piece and the production. Off the top of my head I suspect you might be able to edit it down and rewrite it slightly to a minute or two minutes in length and it would be more powerful for it. It kind of 'sprawls' a bit at the moment, and loses its message a little for me.

Thanks for posting it. I enjoyed hearing it 

All the best,

Stephen


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## José Herring (Jan 11, 2006)

I think the piece is beautiful and you can't discount that effect on the listener.

My only critique is that at times when you have several parts going some of the parts don't integrate well to form a cohesive whole making the piece disorganized at times.

But you do show promise as long as you stick to what you think is right and don't listen to too many critiques :wink: 

Jose


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## Styrus (Jan 11, 2006)

Thanks heaps guys!

I guess that I'll be thinking a lot about structure, ideas and themes in the next piece. Also what blends with what, and what doesn't... Yep, this project has certainly helped a lot.

And thanks Jose. Appreciate the comments.


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## blake (Jan 11, 2006)

I thought the piece was great. Like you said, perhaps it needs more focus as it seems to jump from one theme to the next. Also, I'm not sure on a few parts where the low string staccatos cut in quite loud (3:15-3:30ish). Other than that I enjoyed it, nice work :D.


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## Styrus (Jan 11, 2006)

Weird, I've never noticed those low strings before :? But now that you mention it they are a little sudden. Bizarre.

Thanks for the listen!


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## blake (Jan 11, 2006)

I only really noticed them the second or third time I listened through the piece. I guess it's one of those things that you notice more when you know it's there.


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## Liam (Jan 11, 2006)

Hey Styrus, that is a very nice piece. I do agree with what you said about the random feel to it with too many short themes all together. I find if you are focusing on a theme, use one or two that move you the most, or fit the picture if its for that. Then mix it up with variations on that theme thoughout. that way it has a consistent and memorable feel without being repetitive. 

I strongly agree with the shorter demo idea. Especially if it is only a demo for your reel, a lengthy demo will never be heard completely by a client. I agree with Stephen Rees 100%. I recently composed a Christmas piece under 2 mins that turned out to be a better demo than a former piece I did at 4 or 5 mins.


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## Styrus (Jan 14, 2006)

Thanks for that Liam... Yeah, that idea is sounding quite good me thinks.

Thanks for the listen...


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## ChrisAxia (Jan 14, 2006)

Hey Styrus,

This has great potential, especially since this is with QLSO Silver. Some very nice writing in there. I'll second what Fred has said. 

Keep going! An upgrade to Gold would also help, if you can afford it.

Good luck,

Chris


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## Styrus (Jan 14, 2006)

Thanks for the listen Chris!

Yeah, next piece I am going to spend at least twice as long in developing the structure and all that jazz. I've really learned a lot from you folk...

Yep, I'd love to upgrade to EW gold, but there is absolutely no way I can afford it right now. Also I have quite a few other studio items I really want to purchase before any more libraries.


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