# Anyone else here feel like digital composing is sucking up your lifetime?



## HarmonyCore (Oct 13, 2020)

The flexibility and the countless options of creating/tweaking sounds that come with sample libraries and synths is a beautiful fact in our lives and a curse in the same time. This means that you will spend weeks or even months in your studio away from the sunshine, alone in the dark staring at your project with a non stop coffee mugs that keep coming. I hate to say it but I sometimes feel depressed and have this weird sensation of getting old inside my studio while human beings enjoy their time and lives out there under the sun. 

Have you ever had this feeling while writing for long time?


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## visiblenoise (Oct 13, 2020)

I feel really blessed because I don't really find the outside much more preferable. Unfortunately, I also haven't been able to muster up the work ethic to become good at composing.


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## pinki (Oct 13, 2020)

Yes. I understand.

But the rewards are great.


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## JJP (Oct 13, 2020)

One of the most important things in this career is to make sure you have something else in your life beyond music.


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## dcoscina (Oct 13, 2020)

I spent 3 hrs On Staffpad orchestrating a theme I wrote in 1992. I managed to get about 20 bars written. Now it is scored for large orchestra and I’m doing a John Williams styled arrangement so there’s lots going on, but still, it takes a while even without all of the sample libraries and daws and all that. Composing takes time. Plain and simple.


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## ManicMiner (Oct 13, 2020)

I think I read something like 85% of people don't like their jobs. 
Personally, things changed for me in my thinking as I lived in a poor region of Africa for 7 years. People work in the fields there 12 hours a day in the searing heat. And at the end of the day, they just about earn enough money to eat. Nothing really more than that. 

But having said that, I think your sadness is legitimate, because its personal to you and is affecting you, so I wouldn't want to invalidate what you feel. Being shuttered up inside in front of a screen is certainly negative in terms of health and mood.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 13, 2020)

Thomas Begersen himself mentioned in a very rare video answering fans questions, that he locks himself up for months with no food, water, phones, or sun. He admitted that it's not a healthy way to live but this is the only way to get the job done.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 13, 2020)

dcoscina said:


> even without all of the sample libraries and daws and all that. Composing takes time. Plain and simple.


 
😯


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 13, 2020)

JJP said:


> One of the most important things in this career is to make sure you have something else in your life beyond music.



I love to start my day with some workouts on my treadmill, take shower, eat quinoa/shia seeds in my breakfast, then start working. I work 12 hours a day that are split into 1 hr piano techniques practicing, 2 hrs synth sound design, 7 hrs in Cubase composing/orchestrating, 1 hr music theory study, and 1 hr playing with a library to study it more. 

I am sticking to this work schedule in a daily basis. My goal is to practice different stuff and gain knowledge in different areas at the end of the day. I take a day off in Friday.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 13, 2020)

ManicMiner said:


> I think I read something like 85% of people don't like their jobs.
> Personally, things changed for me in my thinking as I lived in a poor region of Africa for 7 years. People work in the fields there 12 hours a day in the searing heat. And at the end of the day, they just about earn enough money to eat. Nothing really more than that.
> 
> But having said that, I think your sadness is legitimate, because its personal to you and is affecting you, so I wouldn't want to invalidate what you feel. Being shuttered up inside in front of a screen is certainly negative in terms of health and mood.



I work 12 hrs a day for free 😁


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## JohnG (Oct 13, 2020)

you sound like you have a good routine to me. Much healthier than mine!

I agree with @dcoscina that composing music takes quite a bit of time. IDK how to short-cut it.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 13, 2020)

JohnG said:


> you sound like you have a good routine to me. Much healthier than mine!
> 
> I agree with @dcoscina that composing music takes quite a bit of time. IDK how to short-cut it.



Hey, John! Thx for the comment 😍

Yes, I think, by time, I will find professional shortcuts as I am progressing. For instance, my workflow has improved tremendously that allows me to finish a piece (w/mixing and mastering) in 3 days. Man! I used to finish a piece in 10 days 8 months ago. I just get a little bit of a depression along the way, which is my new road block that I must overcome.


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## dcoscina (Oct 13, 2020)

Don’t get me wrong, composing orchestral music in notation is incredibly rewarding. But it’s a marathon not a sprint. I enjoy trying different things out and sometimes I hear clearly in my head what I want to write out. I like the quiet of composing this way. The other benefit is that Staffpad is portable. I can compose outside, on the couch or wherever.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 13, 2020)

dcoscina said:


> Don’t get me wrong, composing orchestral music in notation is incredibly rewarding. But it’s a marathon not a sprint. I enjoy trying different things out and sometimes I hear clearly in my head what I want to write out. I like the quiet of composing this way. The other benefit is that Staffpad is portable. I can compose outside, on the couch or wherever.



I understand, beautiful! 
Orchestration takes more time though.


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## SergeD (Oct 13, 2020)

Run away man, run away as far as possible from all of this without looking back, one hour a day and dont forget to wear running shoes


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## Mornats (Oct 14, 2020)

Like any job, it helps to take time off. Don't think of it as lost time where you could have been working. The rejuvenation you get from having the time off to go outside or whatever you like doing to chill is not time wasted. It contributes to your productivity by making you feel more refreshed.


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## Al Maurice (Oct 14, 2020)

In life we shouldn't feel like we are just hampsters going around a wheel all day. At least those lucky enough to be following creative pursuits in their line of work, at the end of the week, can look back on every note you've put down and when you play it back, can say I made this!

After a while you have a whole portfolio of work, which you've put together. How many other people can say that? 

Routine is great as it helps to keep us motivated and disciplined, but somewhere you need to incorporate as someone said earlier: time out away from our studio or desk. Reach out for the great outdoors, breath in the fresh air, look out at some ambient light. Just to recharge your batteries and to ensure that your output remains fresh and invigorating. That usually works for me.


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## Tice (Oct 14, 2020)

I find that with good mental health and physical health practices, you can have your cake and eat it too. Sure ,you CAN pull all-nighters every day tweaking your compositions 'till kingdom come. But with a bit of discipline you can also go on regular walks, even if it feels awkward to walk towards nothing in particular. You can cut back on coffee, you can be among people in whatever dosage best suits your needs, you can eat healthy and get your vitamin D whenever the sun is out. And if you do those things, you'll even find your work improving. It's win-win. Turns out healthy happy people can be very creative and driven.
But it's forming those good habits that's the hard part. The composing, you got that part down. You know your craft and are only getting better with time. So don't worry about being away from your screen and not working while you go on that walk your mind is fighting you from going on. You'll be alright!


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## TomislavEP (Oct 14, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> The flexibility and the countless options of creating/tweaking sounds that come with sample libraries and synths is a beautiful fact in our lives and a curse in the same time.



To me, this sheer abundance of choices is often a hindrance to creativity even though I don't have as nearly as much GAS on hand as many people around here.



> This means that you will spend weeks or even months in your studio away from the sunshine, alone in the dark staring at your project. I hate to say it but I sometimes feel depressed.



I'm even more depressed when I think about the typical whole-day office job that most people are doing. That is why I've deliberately chosen this life full of uncertainties and poverty instead. Wait, this is depressing too... but the "freedom" is priceless. I can organize my day my way and take frequent breaks in the sunshine whenever the sunshine is available.



> I have this weird sensation of getting old inside my studio while human beings enjoy their time and lives out there under the sun.



Those who dedicate their lives to some kind of creative work should never try comparing themselves with the ways of life of the majority. Most people don't like solitude, isolation, and a slow pace. Personally, I do. If only I could always capitalize on that...


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## GtrString (Oct 14, 2020)

You sound overworked and underappreciated. Modern creative life is a formula for bitterness and resentment, if you are not careful.


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## Tice (Oct 14, 2020)

Oh, and buy yourself that fancy wine every once in a while (Or whatever things you really enjoy). If YOU don't treat you well, other people won't either.


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## MartinH. (Oct 14, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> Thomas Begersen himself mentioned in a very rare video answering fans questions, that he locks himself up for months with no food, water, phones, or sun.


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## matthieuL (Oct 14, 2020)

What is sucking up my lifetime is not composing, it's the software and hardware problems !! At some times, it takes me even much more time than composing. 
Few examples :

One time (this month) it's the power supply of a screen which dies, replaced by one creating audio parasites, then replaced by another one dying the day after !
Another time it's a crash or a bug in a software (VE PRO, Cubase, SINE...), so I investigate to understand what's fucking going on, then write a mail to support, then answer to the reply with videos, template files, etc, then answer to the reply to try and convince that "YES Mr Steinberg (or Mr VSL), there is a bug, trust me". Then after 10 mails : "ah yes, you were right, I didn't test in your way". It's the better case, many times the bug is unsolved (either they can't, either they don't want...). Then I have to find a workaround.
Each time I want to buy a new library, in order to not make a costly bad choice, I read forums, listen demos, watch walkthrough. After purchasing, I take time to incorporate the instruments in my template, create the expression maps (thanks Steinberg, to do such a shitty UX in 2020, no copy/paste, no colors, no folder of articulations, no reordering of the expression maps...), learn to use the instrument, discover their limitations, their flaws, their bugs, then desperate few days for this bad purchase.
Fighting with the USB devices : my external USB hard drive (used for my backups) aleatoricly not recognized by Windows, have to change port, do a "repair", be careful with the very loosy USB 3 plug (come on, how can they create such bad designs like this today again ???)...
As software developpers are not creative and don't care about the comfort of their clients, I have to search ways of manage my software more easily. As many people, I use a tablet to control Cubase a little. Tried TouchOSC, but after 1 year I found it too limited. Tried Lemur, bad UI, difficult to learn for me. Tried MKConnect, doesn't work well due to a bug in Cubase (but I was not warned before purchase). Now I use Open Stage Control, I have what I want but many hours to program and customize, maybe more than the time saved now...
As I'm sick of buggy and limited Cubase and buggy VE PRO, regularly looking at other solutions, trying them when new versions, only to find after lost time that what I have is for the moment the more convenient for me, even if it's bad.
Lot of time to think about the universal problem of the piano keyboard and the PC keyboard and mouse, which have to be at around the same height. Tried few DIY desks, searched in vain thin piano keyboard, etc
I could continue with dozens of examples (dead monitor, dead RAM, dead power supply, PCI soundcard incompatible with new motherboards, audio parasites due to electric problems...). All that is due to some people doing their job badly (however we could consider they are doing their job well since they still make money...). I'm sick of all this software and hardware half done.

Actually my dream would be to only compose in my working hours, then my lifetime would be well used and satisfactory. Right now it's all about frustration and fight


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## el-bo (Oct 14, 2020)

You clearly have a strong work-ethic and self-discipline. Unfortunately, it seems like it might be somewhat at odds with your enjoyment. Might be worth shifting things around, and prioritising others, to stave off the possibility of burnout.


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## Kent (Oct 14, 2020)

matthieuL said:


> What is sucking up my lifetime is not composing, it's the software and hardware problems !! At some times, it takes me even much more time than composing.
> Few examples :
> 
> One time (this month) it's the power supply of a screen which dies, replaced by one creating audio parasites, then replaced by another one dying the day after !
> ...


Maybe you need to hire a technical assistant to have these headaches for you


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

MartinH. said:


>



Check it yourself! why would he lie about that?!!


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

matthieuL said:


> What is sucking up my lifetime is not composing, it's the software and hardware problems !! At some times, it takes me even much more time than composing.
> Few examples :
> 
> One time (this month) it's the power supply of a screen which dies, replaced by one creating audio parasites, then replaced by another one dying the day after !
> ...



Luckily, I haven't faced any software/hardware issues until now so I can consider myself very lucky. Also, the main reason for this is that I bought a brand new HP OMEN laptop with excellent processor and 32GB of RAM. So, because it's a brand new, no issues at all. However, I agree with you about taking the time to investigate the library before and after purchase. That's why I dedicated 1 hour in my work schedule for a library study.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

el-bo said:


> You clearly have a strong work-ethic and self-discipline. Unfortunately, it seems like it might be somewhat at odds with your enjoyment. Might be worth shifting things around, and prioritising others, to stave off the possibility of burnout.



This is exactly what's happening! I stick to the plan strongly and forget about myself because I want to achieve my goal, which is "getting better at composing/arranging/orchestrating/m&m". I am still honing my skills and I am not yet producing quality pieces. So, this work schedule is actually a study schedule too but I call it work schedule because I also produce while studying. However, they are still low quality music. If I am a professional composer and spend this same huge amount of time, I would produce 3 albums. And because I am still studying and sharpening my craft, I have to work very hard and race the time but with taking a good care of my health.


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## MartinH. (Oct 14, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> Thomas Begersen himself mentioned in a very rare video answering fans questions, that he locks himself up for months with no food, water, phones, or sun. He admitted that it's not a healthy way to live but this is the only way to get the job done.





HarmonyCore said:


> Check it yourself! why would he lie about that?!!



You can't go months without water, he'd be dead if he did. A couple days are possible, but you'd feel so shitty, I strongly doubt that's the state someone does good creative work in.
What he describes is the concept of flow, where you forget time and may very well be so deep in the flow state you don't feel thirst or hunger for a couple hours. That total isolationist strategy may help induce flow from composing more reliably, because there are less competing dopamine triggers. The "no sunlight for months" part I also strongly doubt, or at least think is oversimplified. It takes only weeks of no daylight with insufficient substitutes to cause a serotonine deficiency, which in turn is likely to cause anxiety or depression or both. He probably means "no slacking off in the sun" or something like that. If your studio is underground or similar, at the very least you should get some "artificial sunlight" from one of those light therapy lamps against seasonal affective disorder. Nothing against TJ and I think in the context of his video it's more clear what he meant. I don't doubt he lives like a monk for months at a time, but the extreme hardcore stuff you wrote there is simply not possible/feasible/sensible.
You can do OMAD, or keto, or whatever is your jam if a lunch break would knock you ot of flow for too long, but imho you really shouldn't skimp on hydrating and getting enough light.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

MartinH. said:


> You can't go months without water, he'd be dead if he did. A couple days are possible, but you'd feel so shitty, I strongly doubt that's the state someone does good creative work in.
> What he describes is the concept of flow, where you forget time and may very well be so deep in the flow state you don't feel thirst or hunger for a couple hours. That total isolationist strategy may help induce flow from composing more reliably, because there are less competing dopamine triggers. The "no sunlight for months" part I also strongly doubt, or at least think is oversimplified. It takes only weeks of no daylight with insufficient substitutes to cause a serotonine deficiency, which in turn is likely to cause anxiety or depression or both. He probably means "no slacking off in the sun" or something like that. If your studio is underground or similar, at the very least you should get some "artificial sunlight" from one of those light therapy lamps against seasonal affective disorder. Nothing against TJ and I think in the context of his video it's more clear what he meant. I don't doubt he lives like a monk for months at a time, but the extreme hardcore stuff you wrote there is simply not possible/feasible/sensible.
> You can do OMAD, or keto, or whatever is your jam if a lunch break would knock you ot of flow for too long, but imho you really shouldn't skimp on hydrating and getting enough light.



Yes I know, he was a bit exaggerating of course. I just want to show you that I copied what he exactly said, no more no less.


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## el-bo (Oct 14, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> This is exactly what's happening! I stick to the plan strongly and forget about myself because I want to achieve my goal, which is "getting better at composing/arranging/orchestrating/m&m". I am still honing my skills and I am not yet producing quality pieces. So, this work schedule is actually a study schedule too but I call it work schedule because I also produce while studying. However, they are still low quality music. If I am a professional composer and spend this same huge amount of time, I would produce 3 albums. And because I am still studying and sharpening my craft, I have to work very hard and race the time but with taking a good care of my health.



"I want to achieve my goal, which is _*getting better at composing/arranging/orchestrating/m&m*_."

Ok! So why are you spending 12 hours a week doing synth sound-design? Why would a composer-in-training prioritise that over music theory, for example? 

Your health is the priority, without which none of this happens. If you are starting threads, talking about having your lifetime sucked away, then there is already some kind of imbalance. How long before joy gives way to resentment? 

Why does it have to be 12 hours? Why does every task have to conform to a pre-set time limit? Does every different part have to be done, every single day?

Which is the most enjoyable of all these elements?...and the least?


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## X-Bassist (Oct 14, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> he locks himself up for months with no food, water,


Ok, impossible to last months with no food, or weeks with no water, but I get the idea.

Truth be told the one way to solve this is learning faster ways to work. Whether composing or mixing I try to work faster each time, literally timing myself on each step then after the project is done try to review and see if there are ways to speed it up. Even if a quick key or an upload service will save me a few seconds or minutes, I try to adopt it or spend the extra money because it adds up. I try to remember these little moments are what keeps me tied to the desk, so get rid of them.

Rather than food or water (which should be next to you) try turning phone off, close email apps, the TV, social media, or whatever else is a distraction. Focus and time yourself, then see if you can top it. Over time things get faster and faster if you are focused, and you sill find more time for yourself and the sunshine.

Also cut yourself off. For me 11pm is my cut off, I know I will work more efficiently if I go to bed and finish in the morning, so I do. Often I would find myself redoing (in the morning) what I rushed through the night before anyway, so there’s no reason waisting the time.

Then, most importantly, take breaks. Go out for lunch, walk the dog while your bouncing out or uploading/downloading. See your breaks and time away as an important part of the process. My best ideas and quickest fixes have been discovered while I was out and about. So it’s important.

And don’t pull all nighters unless then def need it first thing in the morning. It will only ruin your next day (or several) and keep your brain from functioning at it’s best. I only do it if I have to deliver AND I have several days off afterward to return to normal. All the best.


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## b_elliott (Oct 14, 2020)

HarmonyCore I too admire your daily regimen. Nice musical immersion. Lots of friendly postings.

Just my 2 cents: There is one omission which could 'splain some of your trouble: You are missing time to breath during the day/week. 

Breathing: That could translate to grabbing your camera, going outside away from your studio; snap some shots. Based on your postings you are bright enough to translate that to what suits you best (ie., hop in your car or on a bike and take it out for a brief spin). 
Cheers, B


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

el-bo said:


> "I want to achieve my goal, which is _*getting better at composing/arranging/orchestrating/m&m*_."
> 
> Ok! So why are you spending 12 hours a week doing synth sound-design? Why would a composer-in-training prioritise that over music theory, for example?



Because sound design is practically what produces new sounds for me to put in my projects right away. Music theory is an ongoing lifelong study/refreshment that doesn't need more than 1 hour a day. I would definitely prioritize it over anything else if, for example, I am a music teacher. But since I am a home studio who tries to be a composer, I just need the theory that defines my scale, melody motif, counter melodies..etc.



el-bo said:


> Why does it have to be 12 hours? Why does every task have to conform to a pre-set time limit? Does every different part have to be done, every single day?



Because sound design experimentations take time. For instance, I am having fun with FM8 and its sound generators (or oscillators). To come up with a sound in your head, needs more work and experimentations with all these generators. It's like drawing a map in your "expert" tab to generate that sound. So yeah, it even takes more than 2 hours but I dedicated only 2 hours to conform with my schedule.

As I mentioned earlier, my goal is to study and work on different areas every day. People like to finish an area of knowledge then jump to the next. For example, finishing synth study then jump to a library study. I found dedicating a slice of time to each area is more practical. EDIT: Also, this career forces you to study/work all of them simultaneously because you're using them all at once.

Look! let's face it! everyone knows what is the cause of their problems. My depression is not from the schedule, it's from my 7 hours Cubase composing work everyday for 8 months now and still producing low quality music. I think this is the most obvious cause of my depression after careful self analysis. The solution is simply to keep going and work harder because it was just not enough. My brain still wants to rush the result and refuses the fact of taking my time. But I am still fighting and persisting.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

X-Bassist said:


> Ok, impossible to last months with no food, or weeks with no water, but I get the idea.
> 
> Truth be told the one way to solve this is learning faster ways to work. Whether composing or mixing I try to work faster each time, literally timing myself on each step then after the project is done try to review and see if there are ways to speed it up. Even if a quick key or an upload service will save me a few seconds or minutes, I try to adopt it or spend the extra money because it adds up. I try to remember these little moments are what keeps me tied to the desk, so get rid of them.
> 
> ...



Yes, I think of taking 2 days off. Looks like one day off isn't simply enough!!


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

Guysss!!!! Thank you so much for all the great posts and taking the time to respond. This shows how VI control is really a healthy community for all aspiring composers. So, for that reason, I give you this trailer music as a gift. Shitty but this is what I got to express my gratitude to you. Love ya all!!!  









Dropbox - File Deleted


Dropbox is a free service that lets you bring your photos, docs, and videos anywhere and share them easily. Never email yourself a file again!




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## b_elliott (Oct 14, 2020)

Good trailer music. Only yesterday I watched a short video (sans music) of a black hole eating a star. I nominate your trailer to be edited to this baby. This is my match making for today (no fee this time )


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

b_elliott said:


> Good trailer music. Only yesterday I watched a short video (sans music) of a black hole eating a star. I nominate your trailer to be edited to this baby. This is my match making for today (no fee this time )




Awwwww!!!!! let's go hehehehe


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## Tice (Oct 14, 2020)

Here's another word of advice: don't talk down the quality of your own music. I'm not saying 'boast about it', but don't tear it down. Even if you think it's bad. You wouldn't keep a person around if they tore into you or your work all day, so don't do it to yourself 

The trailer music actually IS good.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

Tice said:


> Here's another word of advice: don't talk down the quality of your own music. I'm not saying 'boast about it', but don't tear it down. Even if you think it's bad. You wouldn't keep a person around if they tore into you or your work all day, so don't do it to yourself
> 
> The trailer music actually IS good.



REALLY?! 

Thanks Tice, appreciate it!  I will keep going and I will never give up
EDIT: I am very happy to hear this really!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Patrick.K (Oct 14, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> The flexibility and the countless options of creating/tweaking sounds that come with sample libraries and synths is a beautiful fact in our lives and a curse in the same time. This means that you will spend weeks or even months in your studio away from the sunshine, alone in the dark staring at your project with a non stop coffee mugs that keep coming. I hate to say it but I sometimes feel depressed and have this weird sensation of getting old inside my studio while human beings enjoy their time and lives out there under the sun.
> 
> Have you ever had this feeling while writing for long time?



Yes, I think many of us must feel that ? something that I often feel, I often feel isolated and I no longer have the notion of time, I even forget to eat !.I feel better in winter when the weather is bad or it rains.

I feel bad, especially when I have no inspiration, I feel depressed.

You have to stop regularly and go for a walk to clear your mind, and that can help to find ideas, because the trap with its libraries and synths in general is that you spend a lot of time going through the presets, without really knowing where we are going !.

Finally I speak for myself.

It is much more productive to imagine ahead, to take pencil and paper and write down what you imagine, well that's what I try to do, but the attraction to build up is too important to sit in front of your screen and load a template without really knowing what you want to do!


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## el-bo (Oct 14, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> Because sound design is practically what produces new sounds for me to put in my projects right away. Music theory is an ongoing lifelong study/refreshment that doesn't need more than 1 hour a day. I would definitely prioritize it over anything else if, for example, I am a music teacher. But since I am a home studio who tries to be a composer, I just need the theory that defines my scale, melody motif, counter melodies..etc.



My mistake. For some reason I thought you were going for much more traditional composition, which of course would rely much less on self-created synth sounds





HarmonyCore said:


> Because sound design experimentations take time. For instance, I am having fun with FM8 and its sound generators (or oscillators). To come up with a sound in your head, needs more work and experimentations with all these generators. It's like drawing a map in your "expert" tab to generate that sound. So yeah, it even takes more than 2 hours but I dedicated only 2 hours to conform with my schedule.
> 
> As I mentioned earlier, my goal is to study and work on different areas every day. People like to finish an area of knowledge then jump to the next. For example, finishing synth study then jump to a library study. I found dedicating a slice of time to each area is more practical. EDIT: Also, this career forces you to study/work all of them simultaneously because you're using them all at once.
> 
> Look! let's face it! everyone knows what is the cause of their problems. My depression is not from the schedule, it's from my 7 hours Cubase composing work everyday for 8 months now and still producing low quality music. I think this is the most obvious cause of my depression after careful self analysis. *The solution is simply to keep going and work harder* because it was just not enough. My brain still wants to rush the result and refuses the fact of taking my time. But I am still fighting and persisting.




>>"*The solution is simply to keep going and work harder"<<*


Actually, I think the solution is to work smarter. I know you have all the reasons for what you are doing, and the manner in which you are doing it. But that doesn't change the fact that you seem to be resenting to some extent how much of your life you are giving over to this, and depressed that you (in your opinion) are under-achieving.

One possible big symptom of your current schedule, perhaps, is a loss of perspective. You share a (imo) very good example of trailer music, announcing it as "shitty", and you seem to think that at eight months you should be doing much better.

If I got the feeling that this whole process was making you happy, there'd be nothing to suggest. As it is, I think something has to give...and before you end up really resenting it all.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

el-bo said:


> My mistake. For some reason I thought you were going for much more traditional composition, which of course would rely much less on self-created synth sounds
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yes, I understand! I just want to reach that quality level of big names in the trailer and hybrid orchestral industry. TSFH, Audiomachine, Jo Blankenburg, to name a few. I simply realized that it takes more than 8 months of course, who am I kidding! My mind sometimes annoys me and wants to see fast results. I am mentally fighting that! Hey! BTW, I am very happy doing what I am doing of course. My mind is just giving me the finger sometimes in my journey! VI Control is my breathing window when I feel bad, that's all! 

Now I feel FANTASTIC!!!


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

Patrick.K said:


> I feel bad, especially when I have no inspiration, I feel depressed.



Hey Patrick! I hear you in this one. This is actually a different type of depression that I also get 
But ya know what! this is the life of composers.


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## el-bo (Oct 14, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> Now I feel FANTASTIC!!!


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## JJP (Oct 14, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> I work 12 hrs a day for free 😁



If you can afford to work for free, and keeping that schedule makes you happy with your life, then there is no problem. If not, then you need to consider your priorities and how you want to pursue them. No one else can tell you what is important or what will make you happy.

However, one easy way to make yourself unhappy is to believe that "success" will generate happiness if the work needed to achieve that success doesn't make you happy. That's especially true in an area like music where "success" is not guaranteed and can be quite elusive.


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## LamaRose (Oct 14, 2020)

I don't earn a living composing, but with that said, I feel that I put too much time/effort in the joy of creating music... so much so that it's taking time away from other endeavors that will pay off if given more attention. In that goal, I'm abandoning the MBP for an iPad to reboot the creative juices... a fresh medium to explore new avenues of creation.


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## Patrick.K (Oct 14, 2020)

What makes me feel good is hanging out on my guitar, and working on the Bossa Nova makes me travel ... Try it is a good remedy, and it is more economical than the vsti's 😀

No update, no latency, it makes me forget that I have to change my old IMac ... I feel too much of a technology slave.🤨


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## Haakond (Oct 14, 2020)

I feel that life is sucking up my composing-time


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## Nemoy (Oct 14, 2020)

Haakond said:


> I feel that life is sucking up my composing-time


Well said. Exactly. And who says composing can't be your lifetime as if it's looked down upon for wanting, needing, and/or enjoying spending most of your time in front of your DAW.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

JJP said:


> If you can afford to work for free, and keeping that schedule makes you happy with your life, then there is no problem.



Yes, I've chosen to quit my day job in my old career to pursue making music full time. The decision came based on strong financial stability so I can afford working for free while supporting myself and my kid for a good long time. I don't have anything else to do but study and create cinematic tracks. I haven't watched a movie in those 8 months. Very busy immersing myself in the composition ocean. I am very happy making soundtracks for sure. I am just still training my reactive homo-sapien mind to hold its horses a bit and let me take my time to be good at what I do. My mind gets bored quickly if it does the same thing over and over again. Yes, my mind still refuses the repetition nature of this career without seeing a quick result. You start a project, write some chord progressions on the piano followed by a melody/counter-melody, orchestrate, arrange, edit, mix, edit gain, mix again, and master. I am not saying that because I am bored or something, but at some point in all this fun, some kind of boredom and depression comes in. There is no absolute FUN without boredom, it's just the human nature. Most people understand "Having Fun" incorrectly because they think it's an eternal fun. For instance, how many times you had fun playing video games then you got bored from it. Or how many times you travelled to your favorite destination then you felt bored and needed to change. Man! if I did that same amount of effort and spent that same insane amount of time in my old career, I would have been promoted in a month. The music career is a very busy career, really!

BUT! my workflow is getting faster and I add new techniques to get it even faster. It's just a matter of time. I have to keep doing what I am doing.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

Patrick.K said:


> What makes me feel good is hanging out on my guitar, and working on the Bossa Nova makes me travel ... Try it is a good remedy, and it is more economical than the vsti's 😀
> 
> No update, no latency, it makes me forget that I have to change my old IMac ... I feel too much of a technology slave.🤨



Yeah, I went for a trip two weeks ago and took my Yamaha PSR SX900 arranger keyboard with me. I jammed with my friends pop and rock tunes. Even though I love to compose for cinema, I still jam classic rock and pop songs. Pink Floyd are my role models forever and I will miss Eddie Van Halen so much!


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 14, 2020)

Guys! feel free to use this sound I just created from scratch and share your feedback please. I called it "Scratched Violins" and it's mainly a harsh trailer sound. Synth is FM8.










Scratched Violins.nfm8


Shared with Dropbox




www.dropbox.com





EDIT: When played in the low bass notes, it will give you BRAAM-like sound. When played in the higher notes, it will give you a scratchy metal sound.


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## el-bo (Oct 14, 2020)

Nemoy said:


> And who says composing can't be your lifetime as if it's looked down upon for wanting, needing, and/or enjoying spending most of your time in front of your DAW.



I don't think anyone is saying that. The OP expressed some concern over the trade-offs involved in sticking to their specific routine. I don't remember anybody looking down on, or berating them.


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## purple (Oct 14, 2020)

Isn't that the idea?


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## Sean J (Oct 14, 2020)

I sit in the backyard.
The leaves bristle.
The breeze is gentle.
The birds are distant.
I have a coke and an anti-gravity chair cause I still want comfort.
And I write in StaffPad. 

I still call friends, get out when I get cabin fever, and so on. The feeling does come, but I ignore it and keep going cause that's what I want. Music is what I want. When I look around in 2020, when I listen to the politics of everyone around me... geez, no. I'll take the music. I already loved her anyway, but I'm certainly not turning toward anyone else. 

But yes, StaffPad does make it better to be outside and get your head out of the dizzy musky basement of man smell that accumulates as one sits at a desktop monitor all day. I don't do that one anymore.


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## PeterN (Oct 19, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> The flexibility and the countless options of creating/tweaking sounds that come with sample libraries and synths is a beautiful fact in our lives and a curse in the same time. This means that you will spend weeks or even months in your studio away from the sunshine, alone in the dark staring at your project with a non stop coffee mugs that keep coming. I hate to say it but I sometimes feel depressed and have this weird sensation of getting old inside my studio while human beings enjoy their time and lives out there under the sun.
> 
> Have you ever had this feeling while writing for long time?



It took me 10 years to learn Chinese and that was 3 hours a day practicing. You could have learned to be a nuclear engineer instead. And now I regret it. This fukin orchestration is no chance to master in 10 years, like Verta says, it takes decades. Decades. It can be extremely frustrating, imaging using this time instead learning electricity, bricklaying, building, coding, metalwork, what ever. This is a fools thing. Its a torture and a horrible fate for any human being.


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## HarmonyCore (Oct 19, 2020)

PeterN said:


> It took me 10 years to learn Chinese and that was 3 hours a day practicing. You could have learned to be a nuclear engineer instead.



You sound like your Chinese learning was your full time career instead of being a side task or hobby.



PeterN said:


> This fukin orchestration is no chance to master in 10 years, like Verta says, it takes decades.



Sorry, I don't agree with that. It took me one day to come up with this orchestration. And you don't have to be super duper realistic as with real live orchestra. I am trying to be realistic as much as I can but not SUPER realistic.





PeterN said:


> This is a fools thing. Its a torture and a horrible fate for any human being.



My suggestion is to spend only one year from your life in this digital music making career instead of 10 years. And see if it fits you or not. I've been orchestrating for 8 months and I see tremendous progress so I will definitely keep going.


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## Matt Damon (Oct 19, 2020)

I specifically sought to minimize screentime, maximize efficiency and sacrifice no quality in the process and I think after over a decade of experimenting and stuff I've finally managed to do that.

I believe there are two things which hold people back.

1. A lot of people don't really understand the craft as thoroughly as they should. "Why do I need to know music theory and stuff?" Because it eliminates guesswork in what you want to do. That's why.

2. Samples and writing with a DAW.

Samples are extremely cumbersome if you think about it and a DAW is specifically a recording environment; it's not actually ideal for composing and arranging, but people who've only ever done it that way or have been for most of their composing careers — I don't know how to explain that to them.

I always compose with notation. I write the idea on a piano or guitar first, and then usually input the notes as tablature. This makes the input go very fast because writing the idea becomes no more time consuming really than typing out this post. It's like a word processor.

After that, I export the Noteperformer stems and in Reaper send these into a better reverb and from there, mix that with sample libraries and overdubs of live players. I find that combination, using all of the technologies and resources at my disposal, has given me the results I want in as little time as possible.

For example, using this method, I can get up at 7, start writing at 8, have the tune basically all composed by noon. Then, ship off the sheet music to whatever musician(s) (if it's an instrument I don't play myself) and that's it for the day. On the second day, I often get the performances back and can mix them in, as well as adding in or layering with sample libraries. Though often I'll also just do the sample library parts on day 1 as well.

So I guess in short, I can usually write a 2:30 - 3 minute piece in about 3-4 hours and the finishing touches don't take long since I concentrate on getting it all right straight out of the gate. Try to do it all in the morning.

So it's basically "music in the morning and I'm free the rest of the day".


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## PeterN (Oct 19, 2020)

HarmonyCore said:


> You sound like your Chinese learning was your full time career instead of being a side task or hobby.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Yea, ...in 3 years after hours and hours, days, weeks, of tweking, you will probably have something people give thumbs up to. At least some. By then the AI is also so advanced it might be suspected as AI. In that time - and the effort thrown in - you could have bought a deserted house and made it to a little paradise. There would be a garden too and a small bamboo forest you toiled up for 3 months. You made a little river pass your house and placed goldfish in it. You would have a home made pizza owen outside the backyard, made with stones you picked up at the creek. You learned the brick laying. Nice solar panels heating the water system you learned btw. How about the rooftop and the arabic atmosphere, with a shisha there. The goat is great, kids like to milk it, and you make home made goat cheese. All neighbours lined up. Nice artichokes btw. Do you plan to make your own wine? You have a good location for grapes.


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## PeterN (Oct 20, 2020)

And dont get me wrong, Im on the same path to hell. Its bcs we are cursed in existence. Im going to walk this road of torture, there is probably not a honey pot and a rainbow anywhere, and the road never ends, but like a Tibetan pilgrim Im gonna walk this endless Via Dolorosa. Its fate - some just have this kind of fate. Some are born slaves too.


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## Akarin (Oct 20, 2020)

Since I've discovered composing, about 2.5 years ago, I've been at it every day. Between 8 and 16 hours, weekends included. Not only it brought me joy, it also allowed me to leave my job in tech, a goal that I wasn't even aiming for.

To me, it is the other way around: more than a day away from the studio and I start to feel physical pain. If I was filthy rich without the need to work? I wouldn't change a thing and continue to do exactly the same: writing a note, then the next one and then the next.


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## Fredeke (Oct 20, 2020)

On the contrary. I feel like real life is sucking up my composing time.


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## justmjulie (Oct 30, 2020)

I saw you wrote this.

My depression is not from the schedule, it's from my 7 hours Cubase composing work everyday for 8 months now and still producing low quality music. I think this is the most obvious cause of my depression after careful self analysis.
-

I have the same problem that you been through right now.

Here is my experience, to me low quality music is because my fav music is always compose by those who work in the industry for a long time. I want to make my music sound great like them (which takes time.)

one day, I listen to the track I done in very beginning of this journey. I then found myself improve. although is still not good enough. But compared to my 1st track, practice time is not a wast.

Hope this help


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## JEPA (Oct 30, 2020)

I alternate with this:

- Music
- Chess in the pauses
- And I walk at weekends through the forest.

And I need more time, yes, please...


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## J-M (Oct 31, 2020)

I'm one of those freaks who enjoys pretty much anything related to DAW:s and music...well, maybe not expression maps, making those things is incredibly boring. Listening to my favorite soundtracks helps, though. When I want a break I read something, play video games or do some photography. If anything, I'd like to have more time for music!


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