# Attention Defi.....SQUIRREL!!



## Studio E (Aug 29, 2021)

But to be serious, I "think" I've been ADD, not necessarily ADHD, my whole life (I'm 52 now). I had the 2nd to lowest grade-point-average in my entire high school at one point, and all my parents, teachers, counselors, etc, just couldn't figure it out. They all assured me that I was way too smart to be performing so low. I'm not saying that I'm of above average intelligence, but if you asked my family and friends, they'd probably tell you I am. I'm far from a genius, but apparently I'm no dummy either.

I work a full-time job that requires a lot of study, re-education, and constant interpretation of governmental ordinances, building codes, etc. It is SUCH a struggle sometimes, to keep on task. When it comes to my passion for music, I really enjoy the part where I play around, make sounds, and improv for a while to come up with cues for the films or other projects I'm working on, but I also have a horrible time keeping on task.

I am saying all of this, because I'm interested in hearing about any other artistic types who struggle with this as well, but have been medicated, and how you feel that the medication has or has not helped you. I grew up before there was really any attention or awareness of these issues. As an adult, I am tired of getting caught in the same endless cycles and patterns which keep me from reaching what I perceive to be my potential. I don't mean to say that I believe medication is the end-all, but I do a LOT of other things to take care of myself as far as eating and exercise, and I want to experience how much more potential I have. I plan on talking to my primary care physician about it next month, but I'm also not sure he's going to take me seriously. In this day and age, I can definitely find a legal way to bypass him and legally obtain medication, but I'd like to hear about anyone else's experience from this community, as I probably couldn't find a better group to understand my need of concentration under deadlines.

I also know that there are people who are fiercely opposed to ADD, ADHD, or most other medications, and to be frank, I don't need to hear those. I acknowledge that those opinions exist, and I don't need to hear them. I am interested in your personal experiences, for better or worse. I really appreciate anyone who can honestly open up about it.

Thanks folks. Oh, and I'm in the US, in case that matters as far as what may or may not be available.


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## Mike Greene (Aug 29, 2021)

I'm reasonably sure I'm ADHD, although not officially diagnosed. I definitely suffer from squirrel syndrome. (I have about 20 libraries in various stages of incompletion, and I just started another.) Another symptom is that I hyper-focus and don't like switching gears. That may seem contradictory, but it's common. For instance, I spent the last few days working relentlessly on RealiBanjo, of all things, and couldn't be dragged away from it. I didn't finish, but now I'm on to something else, and I do _not_ want to be disturbed.

I tried someone else's medication (Vyvanse) for a few days and I think it helped, although I can't be sure there wasn't a placebo effect. I considered getting a diagnosis so I could get my own prescription, but ... I never got around to it.  In my defense, my case (if I am indeed ADHD) is pretty mild. With composing, I do manage to make deadlines. And with Realitone, it's basically a hobby anyway, so there's no urgency.

There are people out there who are anti-medication, but my observations are that medications help. In one case, I've watched first hand as someone stopped their medication when an anti-medication friend talked them out of it, and whatever alternative method they're using now ain't workin'.

Bear in mind that you often have to try a few different ones to find which one is right. What's weird is that most of them are actually uppers (which is why Adderall is so popular for college students cramming for finals), which you would think would make things worse, but I guess there's some quirk in the ADHD brain that uses that to calm down.


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## kgdrum (Aug 29, 2021)

I suspect the same, I’m also undiagnosed but would probably be in one of these categories.
I also was horrible in school but the teachers were always perplexed as I’m intelligent on other levels. But like Mike I often start and don’t finish things. 
I refused to study or do homework of any kind when I was in the 7th or 8th grade moving forward but I still did OK in school and would ace math tests etc…..
I went to college for music U of North Texas/ Jazz program and the professors were always perplexed. They’d say “If you can ever get your reading skills up to your playing skills” 🤔 you’d be lethal but I could never learn to read tonal music proficiently I suspect from mild dyslexia.
ironically I wonder if this helped me develop my improvisational skills which is definitely my strong suit musically.👍
I’m slight borderline dyslexic also never diagnosed but I still occasionally reverse left and right and reverse the order of words sometimes when I write. Typically I have no problem jumping from one thing to the next before finishing the 1st task,so I suspect I have some form of Attention disorder.
The creative mind works in mysterious ways,I do think a large segment of the creative world are wired differently than plain folk. 🤪


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## jbuhler (Aug 29, 2021)

Mike Greene said:


> I definitely suffer from squirrel syndrome. (I have about 20 libraries in various stages of incompletion, and I just started another.) Another symptom is that I hyper-focus and don't like switching gears. That may seem contradictory, but it's common.


Yup, this sounds very familiar. Over the years I've learned to tune the hyperfocus to some extent, but there are times when it's going to take me where it wants, and I've learned to mostly trust it, because it does kind of know what it is doing. Most of the time, and it's pretty good about understanding real deadlines. I also keep many projects in varying stages of completion, which has been my strategy for making procrastination and chasing squirrels somewhat more productive. I steal time from project A to work on project B or project C, so I still get the thrill of standing up to superego yelling at me to stay on project A but also get work accomplished. In any case it mostly works... 

I've also never been diagnosed or medicated for it. Caffeine in moderate doses helps with the direction of the hyperfocus. And hyperfocus can be bliss, because it offers relatively easy access to the zone for creative and intellectual work. And hyperfocus allows me to stay in the zone for long stretches of time. Often, when hyperfocus is really working hard, I can go all day and basically forget to eat or forget anything else about the world except what hyperfocus has decided to fixate on.


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## Studio E (Sep 1, 2021)

Hey guys, sorry for the delay, and I truly appreciate your takes on this. It’s interesting that I wrote this Sunday morning, because SO much has happened since. My oldest stepson has dealt with pretty severe ADHD his whole life. He’s 29 now and doing well with his own career, but still struggles. He recently got help from an online platform, Cerebral, and it’s really helped him. 

So, I wrote this post Sunday morning, created a Cerebral account that evening as well as took an online evaluation, set an appointment for a virtual visit with a real provider Monday evening, and picked up my prescription for Adderall RX (extended release) Tuesday morning, took my first dose by 9:30 and have now almost finished my 2nd day on it.

I don’t feel like I’m living my life perfectly enough at the moment, to know exactly how I feel about it. What I mean is, I’ve been pretty damn sleep deprived the last two nights before taking it.
I just feel like I definitely am running a bit slow and it may partially be due to my lack of sleep, not the medicine. 

All that said, I’m pretty wowed by it already. I do feel slow, but in a pretty amazing way. Even though I physically feel pretty lazy and not like moving too much, my mind has been able to focus really really well on tasks at hand. I’ve had to do a LOT of boring reading on things like duct construction standards, the rules of duct sealing, duct reinforcement, and plenty of other shit that would normally make my eyes cross in seconds, but instead I sort of lift my head up after 15 minutes to an hour later and just say “wow”. I don’t know that I’m retaining any better or anything, but the fact that I’m ingesting something to retain at all is a real miracle compared to where I have been.

I haven’t had much time to work on my current film project, but also there, when I have sat down there, I am able to focus in on a task or problem, and just keep slogging along, not feeling bored, overwhelmed, or like I need to be doing something else. I just feel really content doing whatever is at hand. This weekend, I’ll get up early on Saturday morning, take my daily dose, and see how well it sustains me into the day as I try to make serious headway into the current film score.

Maybe some of this info will help someone else. I still don’t know that Adderall is the long term solution, but it’s a great start. It does have my pulse up about a little and my blood pressure is normal, but not the normally awesome 116/76. More like in the 120s over 80. Hopefully as I resume my exercise, which I’ve been horrible about for the past few months, I’ll get those numbers into the correct zone for me.

Thanks again guys!


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## MartinH. (Sep 1, 2021)

I once went to a psychotherapist because I wanted to get a diagnosis and just try and see if Ritalin works for me, but it turns out I a) picked the wrong kind of healthcare provider, since he wasn't even allowed to prescribe meds, and b) he was one of those opposed to the AD(H)D diagnosis in general. I did the questionaire test but he didn't really evaluate it, he just wanted it as a basis to guide the discussion. I later looked up the evaluation key online and I was right on the cutoff. It was 30+ points that you needed to classify as having ADD, and I had exactly 30 (or was it 35?). Iirc it was called Wender-Utah-Rating-Scale. So if anyone wants to take that test, maybe you can find it online. My main problem was that it mostly asks stuff from your childhood, and my memory of that time isn't so great so I had to ask my parents for a lot of things and they thought some of the questions are grossly oversimplified. 

I know someone for whom Ritalin works very well and who thinks the anti-ADD stance that some doctors have is insane because their brains just are measurably different.
Personally I do have memories of using stimulants (caffein pills) in my school time to get through math tests without "daydreaming" my time away. And I remember really struggling with paying attention to some really boring teachers, even if I tried my hardest. Or falling basically asleep while studying for some subjects. But I was never a "bad student" in the typical sense. 

I was curious about Ritalin and was planning on just trying it at one point, but I'm also still a little skeptical because last time I checked the possible long term effects of taking Ritalin looked a little scarier than some other meds as far as I could find out. I'm still torn on whether or not I'd try it if I had the chance. It's harder to get here in Germany compared to the US, so unless I get an ADD diagnosis, there's no legal way for me to get it. 

I'll be keeping an eye on this thread though. Would be really interesting to see how you think about it further down the line. Some meds work great in the beginning and then fade back down to baseline as you get used to the dosage, like you get used to caffein. I'm not sure if this is the case for Ritalin too but I wouldn't be surprised. For your sake I hope this won't happen and I hope it works well for you!

I can very much relate to the feeling of not living up to your own potential...


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## rhizomusicosmos (Sep 1, 2021)

We are going through the process of diagnosis and therapy (no drugs yet) for our 6-year old boy. Emotional regulation and focus on completing tasks are crippling issues for him even though his literacy and numeracy are off the scale. I can imagine how boring it must be for him to be doing simple addition and subtraction in school when he can already calculate the circumference of a circle or generate the Fibonacci sequence. He can't show off his brilliance, however, if he can't do assessment or focus on simple tasks.

@jbuhler, you've just described my own experience to a T! Caffeine can apparently work like other stimulants to help with dopamine imbalances in the neurodivergent brain, I've even heard of some paediatricians suggesting coffee drinks for lunchboxes to help kids cope with the school day.








Caffeine and ADHD: Effects, safety, and use in children


ADHD is a behavioral condition in which a person is unable to focus on tasks for long periods. However, some research supports caffeine as a stimulant to help concentration. Can a person with ADHD use caffeine as a treatment? Read on to learn more about this and other available treatments.




www.medicalnewstoday.com


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## Studio E (Sep 1, 2021)

rhizomusicosmos said:


> We are going through the process of diagnosis and therapy (no drugs yet) for our 6-year old boy. Emotional regulation and focus on completing tasks are crippling issues for him even though his literacy and numeracy are off the scale. I can imagine how boring it must be for him to be doing simple addition and subtraction in school when he can already calculate the circumference of a circle or generate the Fibonacci sequence. He can't show off his brilliance, however, if he can't do assessment or focus on simple tasks.
> 
> @jbuhler, you've just described my own experience to a T! Caffeine can apparently work like other stimulants to help with dopamine imbalances in the neurodivergent brain, I've even heard of some paediatricians suggesting coffee drinks for lunchboxes to help kids cope with the school day.
> 
> ...


I wish you the best in figuring out the best path forward with your son. I’m a grown adult who has already lived such a long, wonderful life, that I am just ready to get on with trying things. You obviously will put much more thought and effort into making sure you are doing the right thing for him. 

I feel like it’s already having such a big impact on me, I really hope the path continues like this. I also think that treating the physical or chemical issues can open the door to therapy, whereas I don’t think I would have stood a real chance in even getting started without it.


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## MartinH. (Sep 4, 2021)

I have a question to those who have experience with ADD - can you relate to the concept of a task beeing "insurmountably boring", leading to you putting it off until the very last minute, that is if you're doing it at all? Even if it's something that could be trivially done in like 1 or 2 hours by a normal person and you were really planning to get it out of the way sooner, but you just... can't even start? I would be very interested to hear in how far Ritalin helped solved that problem for you.


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## Studio E (Sep 4, 2021)

MartinH. said:


> I have a question to those who have experience with ADD - can you relate to the concept of a task beeing "insurmountably boring", leading to you putting it off until the very last minute, that is if you're doing it at all? Even if it's something that could be trivially done in like 1 or 2 hours by a normal person and you were really planning to get it out of the way sooner, but you just... can't even start? I would be very interested to hear in how far Ritalin helped solved that problem for you.


I can absolutely tell you that procrastination is a huge part of the way my mind works, as so many tasks seem so overwhelmingly difficult. Even trivial things like making a phone call I don't want to, or going to the store for something, whatever. I think my mind is constantly jumping from priority to priority and never settling on a good place to spend my time. So far, I "think" the Adderall is helping in that regard. I'm starting day 5 right now and it's the first day I've had available to work ALL day on a film score I really need to push on, so I'm hoping this will make a monumental difference. Talk about feeling overwhelmed, haha. I have a LOT of work to do.


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## kgdrum (Sep 4, 2021)

MartinH. said:


> I have a question to those who have experience with ADD - can you relate to the concept of a task beeing "insurmountably boring", leading to you putting it off until the very last minute, that is if you're doing it at all? Even if it's something that could be trivially done in like 1 or 2 hours by a normal person and you were really planning to get it out of the way sooner, but you just... can't even start? I would be very interested to hear in how far Ritalin helped solved that problem for you.


Have you been spying on me?


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## doctoremmet (Sep 4, 2021)

MartinH. said:


> I have a question to those who have experience with ADD - can you relate to the concept of a task beeing "insurmountably boring", leading to you putting it off until the very last minute, that is if you're doing it at all? Even if it's something that could be trivially done in like 1 or 2 hours by a normal person and you were really planning to get it out of the way sooner, but you just... can't even start? I would be very interested to hear in how far Ritalin helped solved that problem for you.


Hi long lost twin brother. This description fits me. I always have 1000 near-finished but ultimately NON-finished tasks, endless stream of ideas, people call me mister chaos. Some stupid little things sometimes seem like completely unsurmountable to me, so why even begin? But under pressure I have also been known to move mountains.


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## kgdrum (Sep 4, 2021)

doctoremmet said:


> Hi long lost twin brother. This description fits me. I always have 1000 near-finished but ultimately NON-finished tasks, endless stream of ideas, people call me mister chaos. Some stupid little things sometimes seem like completely unsurmountable to me, so why even begin? But under pressure I have also been known to move mountains.


triplets?


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## doctoremmet (Sep 4, 2021)

kgdrum said:


> triplets?


Didn’t we figure out the other day you hooked up with my mum once?


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## kgdrum (Sep 4, 2021)

I was drunk I thought it was your sister! You’re quite lucky you weren’t there…………….😘


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## Tatiana Gordeeva (Sep 4, 2021)

I have many friends, also musicians, with AD(H)D, some officially diagnosed, some not. My understanding is that it is basically a neurological problem (genetically transmitted) *related to the perception of time in the brain.*

Music helps many people with ADHD to focus and concentrate by "giving them a time basis for their brain", a kind of internal metronome to replace their own. Maybe that's why many become musicians, feeling the therapeutic effect.

Recent studies seem to confirm that point of view, like this one for example:









Clinical Implications of the Perception of Time in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): A Review


Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a lifelong neurodevelopmental disorder that can affect many areas of the daily life of individuals and is associated with poor health outcomes and with debilitating deficits in executive function. Recently, ...




www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov





Added: even more to the point:








Timing Deficits in ADHD: Insights From the Neuroscience of Musical Rhythm


Everyday human behavior relies upon extraordinary feats of coordination within the brain. In this perspective paper, we argue that the rich temporal structure of music provides an informative context in which to investigate how the brain coordinates its complex activities in time, and how that...




www.frontiersin.org


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## Tatiana Gordeeva (Sep 4, 2021)

Quoting from this last reference:


> Sensory-Motor Integration
> Studies with non-human primates and even zebrafish have shown that neural ensembles can entrain to a rhythmic stimulus (Quintana and Fuster, 1999; Sumbre et al., 2008), and it is likely that human interaction with musical rhythm is founded upon these basic entrainment mechanisms. However, it is notable that the natural human tendency to move to music, for example by tapping a foot to the beat, has proven surprisingly elusive in the animal kingdom (Patel et al., 2009).


This sends me back to another thread here that I created recently:





Misophonia - What is it?


https://www.brainpost.co/weekly-brainpost/2021/8/10/misophonia-a-hatred-of-specific-sounds




vi-control.net




Interesting! Sorry, I don't want to hijack this thread so I'll stop here.


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## jbuhler (Sep 4, 2021)

MartinH. said:


> I have a question to those who have experience with ADD - can you relate to the concept of a task beeing "insurmountably boring", leading to you putting it off until the very last minute, that is if you're doing it at all? Even if it's something that could be trivially done in like 1 or 2 hours by a normal person and you were really planning to get it out of the way sooner, but you just... can't even start? I would be very interested to hear in how far Ritalin helped solved that problem for you.


I’ve never been diagnosed and so have never medicated except with moderate amounts of caffeine on a daily basis. Tasks don’t present to me as boring per se. There are plenty of boring tasks that I manage to do quite well, and in a strange way even enjoy for their inane repetitiveness. Some tasks just present as something I can’t for the life of me get myself interested in. Then there are the overwhelming tasks that I know will take long to do right but also know that I won’t be able to only do a little bit at a time like a normal would. So they end up being deferred forever unless they are enfolded into another task. That deferral mainly applies to tasks like rearranging the studio, only rarely to projects that are part of the main work like writing and composing. Unfinished projects do accumulate but more because I’m at a momentary loss as to how to proceed rather than because I’ve lost interest. I don’t generally have an issue with not finishing things, though I did when I was younger, and I finish many projects in stages over months, sometimes years if it’s a personal project rather than commissioned. (By stages here, I don’t mean a workflow of breaking a big task down into smaller tasks but that I work on something for awhile, put it aside for a longish period, then come back to it. I generally work quickly and intensely but often need to put a project aside for a period to allow contemplation when I reach some sort of impasse. I experience this rhythm whether writing music or academic papers so it seems part of my basic creative make up.) Deadlines are focusing, but I no longer need a deadline to finish something.


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## MartinH. (Sep 6, 2021)

Studio E said:


> I can absolutely tell you that procrastination is a huge part of the way my mind works, as so many tasks seem so overwhelmingly difficult. Even trivial things like making a phone call I don't want to, or going to the store for something, whatever. I think my mind is constantly jumping from priority to priority and never settling on a good place to spend my time. So far, I "think" the Adderall is helping in that regard. I'm starting day 5 right now and it's the first day I've had available to work ALL day on a film score I really need to push on, so I'm hoping this will make a monumental difference. Talk about feeling overwhelmed, haha. I have a LOT of work to do.



Did that "working all day" plan pan out? Hope I'm not bothering you too much with all my questions, but this is really interesting to me. Maybe you could start a journal or something where you take note of the changes that you expect to your daily life vs how it actually turns out, so that you can later revisit your notes and be more objective about the meds working for you or not after a couple months?

I took one of those self-assessment tests and it said "no" for ADHD, however the way I understand it, I do meet the DSM-5 criteria für the attention deficit part and I thought the test should at least have recognized that. But I'm not sure if "just ADD" is accepted as official diagnosis or not (yet).




doctoremmet said:


> Hi long lost twin brother. This description fits me. I always have 1000 near-finished but ultimately NON-finished tasks, endless stream of ideas, people call me mister chaos. Some stupid little things sometimes seem like completely unsurmountable to me, so why even begin? But under pressure I have also been known to move mountains.





kgdrum said:


> triplets?



Glad to hear I'm not alone!




Tatiana Gordeeva said:


> I have many friends, also musicians, with AD(H)D, some officially diagnosed, some not. My understanding is that it is basically a neurological problem (genetically transmitted) *related to the perception of time in the brain.*
> 
> Music helps many people with ADHD to focus and concentrate by "giving them a time basis for their brain", a kind of internal metronome to replace their own. Maybe that's why many become musicians, feeling the therapeutic effect.
> 
> ...



Interesting! I've finished the task I was putting off in the meantime, and I felt like listening to music helped somewhat, at least in the beginning. I often turn to youtube with a thought along the lines of "what can I listen to, to make this work bearable?" but of course often that just ends with me clicking through youtube for an hour and not doing any work. 

I have watched a video about scheduling for people with ADHD but I've already forgotten what exactly about it I wanted to share here . However I thought it was interesting that they recommended taking note for a while of how long you actually take for tasks (compared to your estimates) to get better at scheduling appropriate amounts of times. And also take into account how much "preparation" and "cleanup" time before and after the task are needed. The thing I was putting off for so long, was essentially a "cleanup" task I should have finished 2 months ago.


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## Studio E (Sep 15, 2021)

Hey everyone, so as a quick follow-up, Adderall XR is not going to work for me. In short, I had two major issues with it. One, is that I am prone to fits of A-fib, and although it didn't put me into A-fib, I was having a LOT of palpitations, at the same time every night, right after I'd eat supper, which is also when I was coming down off the drug. I rode it out for about 8 days and it pretty much did that to me every single night on the days that I took it.

The 2nd issue, was that it sort of went like this. The first two days were amazing. I felt great, happy, able to concentrate really well with dense reading and composing tasks. It was truly unbelievable that I was capable of honing my concentration in one place and follow through with these types of tasks. Day 3 felt "off". The overall happy feeling had subsided but I was still able to concentrate on tasks. Days 4-8 were a constant slide downhill in terms of my mood. In fact, by day 6, I was feeling really depressed, in a kind of scary way I had hardly ever felt before. I had a scheduled procedure on day 9 and I knew I couldn't take my meds that day anyway, so it made a nice place to just stop. I felt better the next days almost immediately after not taking it for about 48 hours. My attention sucks, but my mood was back to normal.

I haven't talked to my healthcare provider since, but I will explain it to them and review my options for a non-stimulant type of medication. For now, I am happy to just be back to me. That in itself is better than where I was after day 4. I'll be sure to continue this thread if I try a new one and report back. I'm happy to share my experience with the hope of it helping someone else.


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## Studio E (Nov 6, 2021)

Hey gang, I just thought that it was about time for a follow-up. 

I met with my doctor a few weeks ago to discuss my ADHD. At an appointment a few weeks earlier, he had given me a couple questionaires to take home. There was a test for me, as well as one for my wife as an observer of me. He is a self-admitted "numbers guy", so he wanted data before he sent me down the path of another drug. I dropped them back off to him and then had a follow-up appointment a week later.

It turns out, that I tend more toward ADHD behavior than 77% of the rest of the population, so at least I wasn't wrong. I also mentioned to him that especially as I get older, I sometimes have some pretty desperate feelings of depression. I wouldn't say that I have depression like many others, for whom I feel for immensely, but I definitely get some feelings that don't seem to be reflected by other events in my life. I can have everything going just fine otherwise, and still feel just a nasty pang of sadness that can't just be alleviated by any kind of normal means and is usually accompanied by a realization that I have zero interest in anything that would normally be fun or entertaining. 

So with all that info, he prescribed Wellbutrin, which is an SSRI anti-depressant which is also used to treat ADHD. I am just about to reach the 4-week mark, at which point it should be taking affect. I can tell it's working to some degree already. I don't really feel different in any particular way. Not happier, not excited (like the Adderal did) but I am indeed seemingly able to sit down and work on things without (as much) distraction. I do still feel like I have much to improve on, but I think I can definitely say that it's working, and surely benefitting my processes at this point. 

As you may have also seen, I have a serious amount of work to get through right now as far as film scoring, and I'm definitely glad that I have taken steps to reel things in and have a bit more control over how I spend my time. 

The forst week-10 days after starting the new drug, it did indeed give me just a few scary pangs of anxiety. My thoughts of fear weren't based on anything tangible, and I quickly overcame them before it really manifested into anything, but it was definitely noticeable. I had suffered really bad anxiety/panic attacks from the age of 26 through my early 40s, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone. That said, I had a good reference for those feelings when they gave a small hint of their presence, and I think that helped me shush them.

If anything major changes, for good or bad, I will update this further. It's a lot of personal stuff thart I know some may think irresponsible to put on the web in general, but I really just hope that the info can help someone else, whether it gives them direction, or just makes them feel a bit less alone with their own demons.

Thanks to all of you who chimed-in, and I'm wishing everyone the best!


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## MartinH. (Nov 6, 2021)

Studio E said:


> he prescribed Wellbutrin, which is an SSRI anti-depressant


It's definitely not an SSRI. NDRI if I remember correctly? I'm very happy to hear it's working though!




Studio E said:


> If anything major changes, for good or bad, I will update this further. It's a lot of personal stuff thart I know some may think irresponsible to put on the web in general, but I really just hope that the info can help someone else, whether it gives them direction, or just makes them feel a bit less alone with their own demons.
> 
> Thanks to all of you who chimed-in, and I'm wishing everyone the best!



Thanks again for sharing your journey with us! Keep us posted and all the best for you too!


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## KEM (Nov 11, 2021)

I have really bad ADHD, which is probably the main culprit as to why I’ve been fired from every job I’ve ever had lol, but it’s definitely a struggle and it makes even very menial tasks very difficult to do, I hate to say it makes me lazy but it really does feel like I’m just being lazy, especially when it comes to music, because I love music but I don’t feel like I’m working hard enough because I can hardly ever focus. I’m prescribed to Adderall and I hardly ever take it since I don’t want to build up a tolerance to it, but when I do it works very well so I’m glad I have it in case there’s a day where I know I’m really gonna need it


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## Henu (Nov 12, 2021)

KEM said:


> I love music but I don’t feel like I’m working hard enough because I can hardly ever focus


You should more than able to focus if you have an interesting enough task at your desk (or rather, DAW, hehe). I don't think the problem is about necessarily you being lazy, but more about the current project you're working with. If it's not interesting enough to keep you focused, you're basically screwed.

I could prolly write a book myself on the matter "how to survive uninteresting projects with ADHD", but one thing that really helps me to focus and succeed is to find an unique angle to even to the most uninpiring thing on my plate- usually about learning something new or achieving something I've never done before. Sometimes it can be the idea of "I'm gonna learn better woodwind arranging with this" or "this project is all about me playing the most demanding bass parts I've ever done". Or, sometimes about something else, like "I'm gonna surprise even myself with the most realistic strings ever with this new library I have only scratched the surface!".

The most important thing for me is to _learn more_, no matter it's "just a gig". For me, learning and getting better is what makes me tick even though I do this for living. For you, maybe something else. But when you know the approach that turns you on each time, laziness becomes the least of your problems, haha!


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## MartinH. (Nov 12, 2021)

I've watched an interesting lecture about ADHD today. It doesn't go so much into specific management strategies and spends more time on explaining what ADHD is in the first place and the problems surrounding it. I thought it's quite interesting and worth watching, but don't expect there to be a magical cure at the end of the video:



I found the part about apathy towards success to be quite relatable and he explains it from an angle I never looked at it.


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## KEM (Nov 12, 2021)

Henu said:


> You should more than able to focus if you have an interesting enough task at your desk (or rather, DAW, hehe). I don't think the problem is about necessarily you being lazy, but more about the current project you're working with. If it's not interesting enough to keep you focused, you're basically screwed.
> 
> I could prolly write a book myself on the matter "how to survive uninteresting projects with ADHD", but one thing that really helps me to focus and succeed is to find an unique angle to even to the most uninpiring thing on my plate- usually about learning something new or achieving something I've never done before. Sometimes it can be the idea of "I'm gonna learn better woodwind arranging with this" or "this project is all about me playing the most demanding bass parts I've ever done". Or, sometimes about something else, like "I'm gonna surprise even myself with the most realistic strings ever with this new library I have only scratched the surface!".
> 
> The most important thing for me is to _learn more_, no matter it's "just a gig". For me, learning and getting better is what makes me tick even though I do this for living. For you, maybe something else. But when you know the approach that turns you on each time, laziness becomes the least of your problems, haha!



That’s true, if I’m really engaged with something I’m working on I’ll usually be able to focus on it for an extended period of time but even then I still struggle sometimes, ADHD is definitely a very long, grueling uphill battle that’s for sure


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