# How do you satisfy your musical creativity with a family?



## Maestro77 (Mar 17, 2014)

I'm a hobbyist songwriter and composer with an extensive home studio. Before I got married I used to go into my cave (studio) for days on end, immersing myself in glorious creativity. I was very productive and satisfied with my work and at peace with the world. When I got married, things slowed a bit due to new family obligations (in-law's birthdays, dinners, other gatherings). I found myself yearning for more studio time and often wasn't really "present" because I was thinking about music and how I needed to satisfy my creative urge.

Then I had a wonderful little girl. My precious studio time diminished even more, almost to the point of non-existence. Normal when you have a little one, right? Although I was still anxious and unsettled without the ability to feed the musical beast in my head, I vowed to suck it up and switch to dad mode for a few years until she was self-sufficient enough to allow me to continue my passion.

2 years passed. We just had ANOTHER wonderful little girl. Now there are cobwebs on my equipment. The music beast is still there, causing me to live in a constant state of daydreaming, rarely truly present for my awesome family. Since I have ZERO time for making music all I can do to keep the beast at bay is to buy new sample libraries in the hopes that one day I'll find time to use them.

Don't get me wrong, my little ones are the most amazing things I've ever, and will ever, create. But you know how it is. You've got to feed the beast, else it consume your life. So now I've got 2 more years until Little Girl #2 is old enough to not fall and hit her head on things every 2 minutes. And I've got every awesome new sample library out there, all unused and collecting dust on my SSD's.

So my question for all of you composers with families is... how have you learned to deal with this? How do you juggle family life with that creative urge? What do you tell your wife when you wake up with an idea that you MUST record before you explode but you have family obligations all day? Once again, I'm only a hobbyist so I don't have the luxury of simply saying "Daddy has to work now." Please help... before the beast either finishes me off or decides to skip town.


----------



## AlexandreSafi (Mar 17, 2014)

This is an excellent question! As an absolute hardcore aspiring film composer, yet a huge natural-born romantic, and other things, i find myself dealing with this issue a lot in the grand beautiful imaginary future. I'm not the one to answer this and so would love to hear other people's experiences about how the relationship dynamic is/are...


----------



## dcoscina (Mar 17, 2014)

Great topic. I have found the same thing lately as my day job takes so much time and energy. I've reconciled that I will go through dry spells but when I'm inspired I try to chip away at pieces more, whether it's on my ipad using Notion or booting up my Mac Pro and rig after my wife goes to sleep at night and work for an hour.

If you can try to adopt a dedicated time- for you because you have children it might only be 30 minutes every other day but it's important to nourish your creative soul as much as it is to eat. Non musicians or artists don't quite get this but it is a legit thing. Besides, everyone should have something they do for themselves.


----------



## Danielo (Mar 17, 2014)

Another great thread! :D 

Maestro77, I can say that I have gone through what you have described exactly! (Three kids, two of them twins). 

During those "they can't do things for themselves" days, the best I could manage was to keep practised on my instrument (guitar) - its very easy to get a cheap Guitar and let the little ones touch it while you play/improvise...its alot of fun for them as well and I think a great introduction to music and sound. The side effect for me was that, although I was not formally recording into my DAW, a lot of creative ideas were born, many of which I am still mining.

As they grow older (the "I will call you when I need you Daddy" phase - which will come much sooner than you think), I was able to get back into doing some actual recording/composing - a couple of observations on this phase:

1) You will never be able to do the "volume" of work that single/people without kids will be able to do - you tend to work longer on things because you do them in "pieces" - so don't beat yourself up over your output. Try to focus on quality not quantity.

2) You (unintentionally) hit the nail on the head when you said that you can't say "Daddy has to work now." - my question to you (not now, but later) is why not? You have to "train" your family members into understanding that composing is a "job" and you need to have your time to do it - for me this often means staying up late on weekends or trading "me" nights with your wife (My wife has her Yoga nights - I get my studio nights ). That doesn't mean I disappear completely - interruptions are common...and often highly enjoyable and fruitful (time to give your ears a rest from that mix and have some cake and milk )

3) If your kids are (will be) like mine, they will participate in many "after school" activities - this ties up a lot of time away from your studio, so if you can, get yourself something like a tablet (ipad) - I find this has been a godsend for "working on music" when you can't "Work on music" and I have used my iPad for sketching out ideas, catching up on theory and my software/hardware manuals, doing promotional stuff (like blogging), etc. all in the middle of watching my kids in swimming class! (ain't tech grand :lol: )

In closing, I would say that if music making is important to you I urge you to have a heartfelt dialogue with your significant other - I think mental well-being is important to a good family life and if music making is part of that, that understanding needs to exist.

When you are on a jet plane, they always tell you that if the oxygen masks drop down you must put yours on first before placing your kids mask on them - to most parents this seems selfish - but when you think about it, how can you help them if you pass out first! I think this discussion is no different - if you need to be creative in order to raise a bunch of happy, well adjusted kids - then make sure you don't put yourself and your needs last.

This might take some juggling and sacrifice, but everyone will be happier for it...


----------



## Darthmorphling (Mar 17, 2014)

The best advice I can give you is to allocate time for yourself. Even if it's only a couple hours a week. That goes against the whole creative impulse idea, but it is what it is. You also have to factor in spending time with your wife.

Fortunately, my oldest is 13. We never force her to watch our kids for us, but a couple of times a month she watches them so my wife and I can go out. We also try and spend at least 15 minutes a day just talking. Any longer than that and the kids start interrupting us and it ends up being family talk. Which is pretty important too. My youngest is 5, and once she goes to bed I have the rest of the evening for whatever hobby is my current obsession. Usually music, but occasionally drawing. So it does get better.

Someone here posted: Family, non-music job, music. You can only do two really well.


----------



## lucky909091 (Mar 17, 2014)

In my opinion it is always a great advantage to have a wife working in our business.
All the other relationshios did not function in my life.


----------



## givemenoughrope (Mar 17, 2014)

Can't the kids do the programming? They're staring at phones/tv/ipads anyway maybe, right? Can't they just draw CCs in Cubase instead? If I had them I might put them to work.


----------



## rgames (Mar 17, 2014)

Think of it this way: there are 168 hours in a week.

Let's say you need 60 hours a week for your day job and 8 hr/night for sleep. That leaves you with 52 hours a week for free time.

That's an average of 7.5 hr/day for time with family and composing. Granted, it's rarely spread out evenly over the week, but the weekly total is the same.

Isn't that enough? I find it is plenty enough - I run out of ideas long before I run out of time to compose. At those times, I spend time with my family and do other activities. Also, we all sit down for dinner nearly every night - that's our no-phone zone.

I have found that most people have plenty of time to do what they want, they just don't manage their time wisely or they *feel* busy and it prevents them from honestly evaluating their productivity. I have no idea if that's your situation, but it is for a lot of people. Adding up the hours is a good way to see how busy you really are.

rgames


----------



## wst3 (Mar 17, 2014)

I sympathize, but I am going to take the other side - it is true that I do not have anywhere near as much studio/music time now as I did when I was single. I have three kids, and they are all well into the self sufficient phase, but I still put time with them above time in the studio... usually<G>!

On those nights when I come up from the studio only to discover that the kids are already asleep I feel bad because I've missed an evening with them. It doesn't happen often, but I try to avoid it anyway.

As Richard points out - even with a full time day job that challenges me technically there is still lots of time for family and music. 

Well, usually. Last week I had to work out of town, which throws a curve just because, and when I did get home late Friday I had to fix the garage door, which had jumped off the tracks, and so yes, there are always time-killing surprises.

I still think it is do-able:
When I get home I like a few minutes to unwind, check personal email, whatever, and then it is time to get ready for dinner, or get dinner ready.

After dinner I try to do something with the kids, help with homework, or just hang out. They still go to bed early, and from their bed time (around 8pm) till about 10pm-10:30pm I get some studio time in. Truthfully, a couple hours is enough most nights - I'm getting pretty toasty by then. When I do crawl out of the basement I usually watch something on TV with the lovely bride. We'll use this time to catch up as well, and most nights I also use this time to practice guitar. One night a week I teach guitar, as well.

The funny thing is, a good bit of the time I find that I am at least as productive as I used to be. Having a bit of a time limit helps me stay focused.

Now this schedule will probably prevent me from making that list of the five highest net worth composers, but that's ok too.

Every once in a while, when the beast gets the better of me and I'm whining about not being as far along as a composer or a guitarist as I had hoped my wife reminds me that I could have taken a different path, and worked on my music all day every day.

I could have I suppose, but I didn't.


----------



## synergy543 (Mar 17, 2014)

I bought my son a massive pile of LEGO and he spent hours on end playing with it while I worked away in the studio. And of course we had lots of play time together too (not father/son but as equals) so I let him play with my computers with REAL programs like Photoshop, Strata3D, and Hypercard. He grew up to become an engineer, started his own company and loves what he does. The point is, if you give kids real tools instead of just toys, they are fascinated by them and are capable of achieving amazing things. I would repeat the same recipe if I had to do it again.


----------



## AlexandreSafi (Mar 18, 2014)

synergy543 @ Tue Mar 18 said:


> I bought my son a massive pile of LEGO and he spent hours on end playing with it while I worked away in the studio. And of course we had lots of play time together too (not father/son but as equals) so I let him play with my computers with REAL programs like Photoshop, Strata3D, and Hypercard. He grew up to become an engineer, started his own company and loves what he does. The point is, if you give kids real tools instead of just toys, they are fascinated by them and are capable of achieving amazing things. I would repeat the same recipe if I had to do it again.



Really inspiring sir! The LEGO part is absolutely genius!


----------



## Mike Marino (Mar 18, 2014)

Great topic. The most recent SCOREcast podcast just covered this subject actually....so I'd check that out if you haven't yet.

For my family and I (similar to Bill), I've had to find time that I could be selfish with (like really early in the morning or very late at night).


----------



## Gusfmm (Mar 18, 2014)

You'd wish it were an universal recipe Synergy, but I'd say your formula is not as easily repeatable as you think. 

In my personal experience, this is very much a personality thing, and every kid is fairly unique and peculiar about the things they like and get entertained by. 

Then, in close second, come the environment factors, where every family situation, on the one hand, and the "times" on the other, are also fairly unique. I took my little girls to a fairly light chamber music concert the other day, for the first time. There were several other families with kids in the theater, and the common denominator was that ALL kids were extremely distracted. It was actually quite shocking. A clear sign to me that I need to start taking mine much more frequently to these concerts, and making them more used to it. I thought it was also a sign of the times we live in. It wasn't that way when I was a kid, but granted, I didn't have as much "materials" and "content" back when. I find myself constantly searching for the proper way to adapt and find balance. And then, no wonder why there are not enough hours in the day...


----------



## Tatu (Mar 18, 2014)

Good topic!

All I can say is, no matter how much you love your family and are willing to dedicate to it, if writing music is as strong a love, then you can't - and shouldn't - keep pushing it aside. 

Find time for yourself and your creativity, or eventually you'll ruin your and your family's life. That's just how it is. And don't find that time at the expense of your health, ie. staying up all night long just to be woken up by them early birds, which children often are.


----------



## chrisr (Mar 18, 2014)

You do this 

Only kidding - i wouldn't subject her to that too often... It's actually something I'm struggling with myself. Not to mention, you know, sleep deprivation and falling asleep at the keyboooooooooooo...


----------



## 1stClass2dRateComposer (Mar 18, 2014)

This has cost me a couple of girlfriends. But nothing bad ever happens to artists, because its all good material--right?

Watch this interview with the greats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1PcGSnFlUw 
You will see them struggle with the question of how to balance composing with relationships. I don't remember which, but one of them says pretty pointedly that the relationships have to give. Ouch.

Currently, my fiance and her 8 year old live with me. I keep a studio room in the house. If there is a project ongoing, then I keep an INSANE schedule of beginning very EARLY in the morning --I'm talking up at midnight or 2 a.m.--to have solid blocks of undisturbed writing. Evenings are all hers and the boy's. We fight about it occasionally. It helps that she is in film and loves music so she "gets" it a little bit. But does she like it? Ah hells no! That's a totally different thing! LOL. And did I mention she's Irish? 

I believe that the most important part of life is keeping a loving relationship if you are lucky enough to have one--and that includes with your kids. Everyone has to find their own way to balance music with that. Involve your wife and kids when and if you can. Share your work with them. And realize, the kids will be gone in 18 years or so, but you as a composer will be creating things probably until your last gasping breath at the age of 99. If you pull this thing off successfully, you will get to have love in your life AND create beautiful things. That is a life worth having!


----------



## jeffc (Mar 18, 2014)

Interesting and always very real topic. 

Just a different point of view from the people who are talking about hours and such. The problem with that analysis is that if you are a composer for a living, it doesn't work that way. You are thinking about it constantly - whether in the studio or spending time with family. This has always been the hardest thing for me to deal with. It's hard 'being in the moment' sometimes, even if you are not working. Your brain is always thinking about music, chasing a gig, etc.

It took me many years to realize this, losing several relationships along the way. Recognizing this fact is the first step to coming to terms with it and finding ways to address it. But it is still tough. Finding balance in life is a constant goal I strive for - can't say that I'm there or it's easy. But trying. Making time for dinners each night and to try and not be holed up in studio every weekend is a start. Getting out of town is a great way to remind yourself there's a life outside of music. 

But, again, this is probably only if you make a living doing this, but scheduling these times away is tough. Because no matter if you book a flight or hotel, or whatever, if you're on a film and they change a date (which always happens) you've got to be there. And that's hard for civilians to understand. My in-laws can't understand why we can't book that trip - they get their two weeks off a year and can plan as much as they want. But a composer for hire means you really, and this is sad, but you have to kind of put that first. It's a choice but I don't see how you can do this half-assed and have any chance of any real success at this. It's too competitive.

But then again, when you're lying on your death bed, are you going to care that you scored one more movie or tv show or are you going to care about your family,friends, and memories you have outside of music? 

So it's a puzzle for sure. Good luck with that....


----------



## Maestro77 (Mar 18, 2014)

Outstanding perspectives, everyone. I'm seeing a few common threads here that are comforting. It's good to hear others have struggled with the same issue. I can kind of tell from your responses who's perhaps a little older and wiser and learned how to manage both the musical beast and the family. Perhaps coming to terms with the fact that gone are the 4-day weekends holed up in the studio is one of the most important things. As my wife says when we fight about this, I made a choice to have a family. There are SO many good things about my choice that, in the long run, will outweigh my musical catalog. Hopefully I'll learn how to better flip the musical on/off switch to (a) be more present with the family, and (b) focus and get creative in short spurts when I get studio time. I've been married for 6 years but a musician for 20 so perhaps these skills just take a bit more time to master. Thanks to all of you for your insight.


----------



## rpaillot (Mar 18, 2014)

I dont have any kids but I dont see why having kids would prevent a composer from having a great career!! This is what I seem to read in some answers here.

On the contrary, I think it's quite motivating for a career to have a family to take care, on a personal side and on an economical side.


And, just see how many successful people and artist have kids , the list is really long.


----------



## Darthmorphling (Mar 18, 2014)

jeffc @ Tue Mar 18 said:


> Interesting and always very real topic.
> 
> Just a different point of view from the people who are talking about hours and such. The problem with that analysis is that if you are a composer for a living, it doesn't work that way. You are thinking about it constantly - whether in the studio or spending time with family. This has always been the hardest thing for me to deal with. It's hard 'being in the moment' sometimes, even if you are not working. Your brain is always thinking about music, chasing a gig, etc.



If you do this for a living you have to allow time to work. there is no way around that. I am a teacher, and I have to be at my job at a set time 5 days a week. It should be no different for creative type jobs. The times might be different, but others should realize this is your income.

I would imagine that like any job, you could focus on it too much and end up taking time away from your family. Even if you have a major deadline and end up working insane hours for a week, if the family balance has been set previously, and the insane hours are not permanent, I believe you can make it work and family should understand that.

Quality time is more important than peripheral time.


----------



## synergy543 (Mar 18, 2014)

Gusfmm @ Tue Mar 18 said:


> You'd wish it were an universal recipe Synergy, but I'd say your formula is not as easily repeatable as you think.
> 
> In my personal experience, this is very much a personality thing, and every kid is fairly unique and peculiar about the things they like and get entertained by.


I'm sure there's some truth to that. However, I also think many kids are damaged by their (well-meaning but misguided) parents. I think kids are very malleable and I'm certain that if many of my son's friends had the same opportunities they could have made higher achievements but parents get in the way. Letting my son explore his interests, encouraging him, and giving him REAL TOOLS (not toys) to work with I believe was the key factor. And of course stimulating him at a young age. In contrast, his friends parents didn't want their kids to be 'exposed' to computers at a young age or they are given toy software and games, and the games become like heroin. Of course my son had games too, but he quickly saw that the tools were far more interesting. His first programming job was working with a small team making a flight simulator game called RealFlight. Now he's making a wearable device for Freescale. http://revolution-robotics.com/. The wearable device was built right here above my studio and in our garage.

Incidentally, one our friends saw what were were doing and gave their son some real software too (Photoshop Strata3D, and Lightwave). He didn't have the math and science background though, but he did go on to become a very skilled 3d graphic designer. So maybe its coincidence but those are the two examples I saw. All other parents I've met or known keep their kids away from real tools and sort of laugh at the idea. I think its quite a loss for our society and much of the learning material and the way kids spend their time is a joke.

btw, tip about the LEGO - Put it onto a large bed sheet. Then at the end of play day, just lift it up and pour them into a box - easy clean up!


----------



## Darthmorphling (Mar 18, 2014)

synergy543 @ Tue Mar 18 said:


> Gusfmm @ Tue Mar 18 said:
> 
> 
> > You'd wish it were an universal recipe Synergy, but I'd say your formula is not as easily repeatable as you think.
> ...



I agree with you. My son, at the age of 9 saved up his own money to buy a laptop.(Xmas and Birthday money) I purchased him his own graphics tablet from Monoprice and let him use GIMP. He had a blast with it. Now he is the tech kid at his middle school. The one the techers ask to figure out why their projector is not working.

My 2nd son. started recording his own music on my DAW at the age of 7. He could arm the tracks for recording and he knew how to change articulations for the Kontakt patches. It wasn't great music by any means, but he was freakin' layering tracks together and, while the notes were not right, his sense of rythym got progressively better.

He'll be one of those EPIC Modern Composers soon!


----------



## Guy Rowland (Mar 18, 2014)

Some great posts here. Talk with your partner about some give and take time each - it won't be much probably (as you say, 4 day music weekends won't feature much for a while).

I don't know what your day job is, but here's an idea - if it involves a commute, use your commute time. If you drive but could take a train, switch to a train. Buy an iPad with Cubasis and sketch some ideas there or for 30 mins on a lunch break. Then you could make your precious studio time go further.


----------



## rgames (Mar 18, 2014)

One other comment - long ago I made a list of people I know personally who are both productive and well-balanced.

The one common trait I discovered about all of them is that they appeared to be not very busy.

Focusing on working long hours is not smart - you need to focus on working productively. So measure your time spent on tasks then figure out how productive you are as you increase or decrease those times. You might be surprised how much less you have to work if you focus on productivity. Six hours in the studio is often as productive as twelve if you focus. It's a mental challenge, but it's do-able.

People who find good work-life balance are the ones who figure out how to engage that focus.

rgames


----------



## Darthmorphling (Mar 18, 2014)

rgames @ Tue Mar 18 said:


> One other comment - long ago I made a list of people I know personally who are both productive and well-balanced.
> 
> The one common trait I discovered about all of them is that they appeared to be not very busy.
> 
> ...



The book Getting Things Done, by David Allen, was the single best book I could have read to make me a better teacher. And it's not even about teaching. It outlines how to do more in a lot less time. I am not as anal as he is, but having a simple system, that allows me to do things more efficently, makes the act of teaching easier.


----------



## mathis (Mar 19, 2014)

synergy543 @ Tue Mar 18 said:


> giving him REAL TOOLS



Very interesting. Specifically, which real tools did you give him?


----------



## rgames (Mar 19, 2014)

Darthmorphling @ Tue Mar 18 said:


> The book Getting Things Done, by David Allen, was the single best book I could have read to make me a better teacher. And it's not even about teaching. It outlines how to do more in a lot less time. I am not as anal as he is, but having a simple system, that allows me to do things more efficently, makes the act of teaching easier.


I haven't read the book but I agree that productivity is tied more to efficiency than working long hours.

I know people who work long hours and I know people who are very productive. They're not necessarily the same group of people.

Being extremely busy became a fad around 1980 or so - in professional life, in personal life, etc. That's not a healthy mindset and it completely misses the point: is the goal to work a lot or be productive?

rgames


----------



## Gusfmm (Mar 19, 2014)

For me, music is a creative and enjoyable art. As such, I can't really associate productivity and efficiency with it. Often, long hours don't mean being inefficient, but giving room to creativity to grow and develop. Having said that, in my specific case, I really don't purposedly seek to make money out of my music, which is probably not the common denominator in this forum. To me it is about creating a quality product as the outcome of the most enjoyable activity in my life, after my family that is.


----------



## synergy543 (Mar 19, 2014)

mathis @ Wed Mar 19 said:


> synergy543 @ Tue Mar 18 said:
> 
> 
> > giving him REAL TOOLS
> ...



He started drawing icons with a pixel painting program which led him to meet Guy Kawasaki at a Mac Show when he was 5 years old. Then he had MacPaint, Hypercard and later Strata3D, Photoshop and Premiere, and later 3D Studo Max. We were producing CD-ROMs and videos at the time so he had exposure to high-end graphic artist who would spend extra time showing him how to use these programs. By 12, he was quite a graphic expert and gave a lecture at Strata Redrock to 3d professionals on how to create low-polygonal count models. Later in high school he learned C+ and Java programming and high-level math. All along he had really excellent teachers who went out of their way to help, beyond the call of duty, which made a tremendous difference. In college he decided to study engineering and computer science but spent most of his time working with a software team where he learned "real world" programming and business skills and saved up money to start his business.

I think there is a huge opportunity to create better educational tools for kids. Too many of what I see are just games or are not well-thought out. Apparently there isn't an incentive or money for anyone to develop really excellent software learning tools. I'm sure better ones will be developed in the future but right now it seems like quite a mixed bag. But getting kids on track to learning something that inspires them in a very deep way whether its music or graphics or science I think is a key element in creating a healthy lifestyle for children, parents and society.

I can't say that what we chose to do was the sole reason he got inspired in such deep activities although it was a very conscious effort on our part to make resources available and to spend time encouraging him to become enthusiastic about his activities. And as result, he was an easy child to raise compared to what I see with many other kids. And the problems other kids have often seems so obvious to me and invariably is the result of screwed up parents. I think most children have a tremendous sense of wonder and enthusiasm in learning new things and this characteristic is most often suppressed by pesky parents who then later have to spend the rest of their life dealing with a problem they created.


----------



## rgames (Mar 19, 2014)

Gusfmm @ Wed Mar 19 said:


> Often, long hours don't mean being inefficient, but giving room to creativity to grow and develop.


That's true, but for 99% of people, I bet long hours are not, in fact, correlated with efficiency in solving problems that require creative thinking. That's been my experience, anyway, in leading groups of people in tasks that require creative solutions.

You'd be surprised how creative you can be when you have a looming deadline!

The deadline can be external or self-imposed. Productive people learn how to make it work when it's self-imposed. That also allows them to stay in control of their lives, so they're a lot more fun to work with...!

Long hours do, however, help when the task is not creative. The productivity of an assembly line is directly proportional to how many hours it operates. That's not what composition is, though. At least it shouldn't be!

rgames


----------



## mathis (Mar 20, 2014)

Thank you, synergy543! Gives me quite something to think about how we deal with our kids and computer. So far he is not exposed at all to Computers and TV ... which I like best, I have to say. (he is turning 6 soon)


----------



## Blackster (Mar 20, 2014)

I have a daughter who is almost one year old. To be honest, she changed everything in my life. My working time decreased from app. 12-14h a day down to 2-4h a day. Do I regret it? Absolutely not!! The time is fantastic and I rella enjoy it. But I also do know that it is a time-limited phase and things will change again when she gets older. 

But the thing which amazes me the most is: my musical output has not decreased very much. It's really suprising how much work you are capable of getting done when you focus!


----------



## Danielo (Mar 20, 2014)

> Mike Marino @ Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:45 am"]Great topic. The most recent SCOREcast podcast just covered this subject actually....so I'd check that out if you haven't yet.



Yes, I just listened to this yesterday, and Scorecast covers a lot of the same territory as has been raised in this thread - well worth a listen!


----------



## Danielo (Mar 20, 2014)

chrisr @ Tue Mar 18 said:


> You do this
> 
> Only kidding - i wouldn't subject her to that too often... It's actually something I'm struggling with myself. Not to mention, you know, sleep deprivation and falling asleep at the keyboooooooooooo...



Great Photo! I remember doing this with a Baby Bjorn carrier to keep both my hands free:

http://www.babybjorn.com/

Also highly recommended (at reasonable sound levels of course)!


----------



## BenBotkin (Mar 20, 2014)

I sometimes wonder this myself-- with two little boys under two I certainly don't have as much freedom or flexibility with my time as I had before then. But then I remember...

Bach had 20 children.


----------



## Darthmorphling (Mar 20, 2014)

Gusfmm @ Wed Mar 19 said:


> For me, music is a creative and enjoyable art. As such, I can't really associate productivity and efficiency with it. Often, long hours don't mean being inefficient, but giving room to creativity to grow and develop. Having said that, in my specific case, I really don't purposedly seek to make money out of my music, which is probably not the common denominator in this forum. To me it is about creating a quality product as the outcome of the most enjoyable activity in my life, after my family that is.



Familial advice is present about 3/4 of the way down.

The book above is really about focus. He outlines how many people get overwhelmed with all of the myriad things they need to keep track of. You may have personal tasks, work tasks, home projects, familial tasks... If you can clear your mind of all the things you worry about, then your creative periods will be stress free.

He outlines ways that you can successfully focus solely on the task at hand. I don't go to such extremes that he does, but in my classroom I have my file cabinet with my many important things collected over the years, slowly being digitized.

I have three folders on my desk: Office, Copy, and actions.

1. Actions contains things I receive and need to be placed in their appropriate place. Essentially an inbox.
2. Office contains any paperwork I need to return to the office. When I am heading there I simply take out its contents and take it with me.
3. Copy contains things I need to copy.

Every morning I look through the actions folder and put things where they need to be. Doesn't take very long. Anything that takes less than 2 minutes gets done immediately.

This allows me to not worry about everything when I am doing something else.

The same applies to your family life. If you spend quality time with your kids on a regular basis, you can occasionally spend a bit more "selfish" time without guilt, or resentment from your family. Now this is very dependent on the age of your kids though.

I seem to get the best ideas for music while driving. My phone allows me to quickly capture my beautiful humming abilities. I now have ideas to flesh out when I get my music time.

The most important thing I have learned that will apply to anyone who can't throw things away: every May, I purge my files of anything I haven't used in the past school year. Have never regretted it.


----------



## Danielo (Mar 20, 2014)

One thing I would observe is that there is a reason that they call it Work-life "Balance"...(to me) balance connotes that it is an active process rather than a passive one: sometimes the "balance" tips to one side and sometimes to the other, but that's all part of the process and no one should beat themselves up for sometimes being "out-of-sync".

I think what's important is that the overall intent is what's kept in mind and we self-adjust ourselves to make sure we don't completely fall off the beam :lol:


----------



## choc0thrax (Mar 20, 2014)

It helps to find someone who understands your odd schedule. Plus I have to make deals with my girlfriend where I can get a few days completely to myself to hit my deadline but then I owe her. I actually had a deadline last night and now in payment I will apply a smile and go see that Veronica Mars movie tonight. Even though I've never seen the show, and it's supposed to be full of inside jokes, I won't mind after I drink a bunch of Vodka.

I'm not sure how people get anything done when they live together though... and have kids on top of that. I would need to have a separate office somewhere to run away to. My home is my office and I don't even own a cat because it would be adorably distracting. I turn a large fan on so I can't hear the outside world and put black electrical tape over any digital clocks. No cellphone or internet allowed. It allows one to focus and let the world to fall away. Quality time alone will allow you to get things done in less time and your work will be better. 

If I ever have a kid and I work from home I like that LEGO idea. Give my kid a huge pile of it and some handwritten building instructions I wrote myself. When he finally places the last piece he finds himself completely enclosed in a LEGO prison cell. This assures I'm not pestered and when I pass by to get some ice cream I congratulate him on how he now knows exactly how I feel. It also lets me indulge in my hobby of architecture.


----------



## edhamilton (Mar 20, 2014)

My oldest is 30 ( I was 18 when he arrived)
Youngest is 5
There are a few in between those two but I've lost count.

God laughs at whatever your parenting plan is.
Each one will need different things from you and your job is to figure it out and give whats needed.
My oldest was a mellow little dude that could hang at the studio for hours, happily playing with toys, just happy to be hanging with me.
My 5 year old, needs to "help" with everything, touch every knob, and really thinks I should only play songs he wants to sing. Can't get anything done. "Blue Suede Shoes" is his favorite song and we must jam on it 20 times a day. Try having an original musical thought after a few of those. (cool thing is he knows its a Carl Perkins tune and he doesn't really like Elvis much)

We live long lives (hopefully) and there is time for all of it.
Kids first - the rest is mostly BS.
On your last day on the planet - are any of us going to wish we had played one more gig?, scored one more jingle?, etc.

After trying to balance this equation for a very long time now, I've realized that if there's not enough quality time to create, there was still enough time to study/shed. Shedding can be done in small bursts. Composing takes me much longer to get into deep waters and have the good stuff come out.
So my 2 cents of advise is to shed, study, shed, study. 
You may not have enough time for output so focus on the input.
Family demands will ebb and flow so its about learning and growing so that when time demands lighten up, you have lots of new stuff in your head that has been fermenting for a good while.


----------



## cmillar (Apr 7, 2014)

My daughter is approaching 6 years of age, so it's getting a little 'easier' to find uninterrupted working time, and when she's off to school for a whole day, that will help for sure.

(But, I'll miss being around her during the day!)

In retrospect, one of the hardest adjustments over the last few years was the lack of time for myself to get in some good exercise. I feel like I've been walking at 2 mph for the last few years!

We all need to be in good health and in good shape to have a clear mind for all the things we're asked to do these days (know our software, know how to produce, compose, record, be creative, make smart shopping decisions, etc. etc.)

Find some time to get in a good walk or jog or bike ride..... that can be creative thinking time!

And, get used to staying up real late, and getting up real early before eveyone else in the house in order to get in a few good working hours!


----------

