# Hospital and Health Update



## Moderato Maestoso (Apr 12, 2014)

Hi guys,

It wasn't possible to keep you updated while I was in hospital, so I thought I'd give you an update now I'm out after a 2 month stay there! (it was supposed to be 4 days...)

I originally went in to have a vertebrectomy (there is a tumour on my spine which was causing pressure to build up, and my spinal cord was in a pre-fracture state). The op was done very late one night (11pm), and I had a bad feeling about it (more on which later).

Whilst in recovery, I started losing feeling in my right hand - VERY scary for a musician! I ended up barely being able to move it. An MRI and CT scan confirmed lesions on my brain. My back was in considerable pain - I had picked up a staph infection (end of the day op / tired surgeon perhaps? Told you I had a bad feeling about the op!). I was transferred to Marseille where I had Gamma Knife radiosurgery on 6 lesions. This involves having a frame screwed (yes, screwed) to your head, CT and MRI scans to determine where the lesions/tumours are, and then several hours in the gamma knife machine, which emits targeted beams of gamma rays at the lesions. This is much better than "whole brain" treatment which is the norm, because the rays are targeted only at the lesions. However - the infection in my back made getting up from the CT, MRI, and Perfexion GK machine agony. I'm convinced that I shouldn't have had the GK surgery with the back infection. It made it so much harder.

Returning to Nimes the next day, eventually(!!) my Onc noticed the infection (the smell coming from the liquid coming out of my back was absolutely disgusting...!!) - I had been sleeping in the chair next to my bed for 3 nights because it was too painful to lie down. She arranged emergency surgery to clean the wound - they had to go back in to the original surgery site, so the recovery took quite a long time. In fact, I still have my scar cleaned and dressed every day...

THEN, they removed my implanted port in case it was infected (the implanted port allowed easy access for IVs. It's a little port under the skin with a tube placed deep in a main vein). The operation was under local, and there were complications. Part of the tube in the vein was stuck, so they ended up having to place wires in the veins in both arms and my groin, and feed them to the site to unstick the tube. It felt like my heart and lungs were going to explode. HORRIBLE!

I have lost a LOT of muscle, and am now having difficulty walking and getting up. The nurse comes in every morning and evening to help me get up and go to bed, as well as shower, dress, do my dressings, and give me my Lovenox injections morning and evening.

So, things are quite tough :( . I have NO appetite, and when I try and eat I feel sick. I wish I could make people understand that I can't eat - it's not something I'm choosing to do. It's caused a few arguments... Although some of the muscle waste can probably be put down to Cancer Cachexia (even when I was eating like a horse a few weeks ago, I was still losing weight), it's not helping that I can't eat. I'm having another implanted port placed on Monday, so I'm going to see if I can get IV nutrition through that, which might help.

Anyway, that's where I am at the moment. Just wish I had the energy to make some music!

Cheers,

Martin


----------



## AC986 (Apr 12, 2014)

If it's any, _ANY_, comfort at all, I had to sleep in a chair for about 2 years some time ago.

Hang on and get through this. I have a friend of mine going in tomorrow with a prostate cancer. I said I would go down there with him if he wanted but his wife will be there all day.

Keep going. You'll get through this and come out the other side.


----------



## Creston (Apr 12, 2014)

So sorry you're having the go through all of this. If you're going through hell, keep going. Positive thoughts heading your way.


----------



## Barrie B (Apr 12, 2014)

Another one wishing you well here...

Barrie


----------



## Resoded (Apr 12, 2014)

Also wish you well Martin, hope you will find some energy for music.


----------



## wst3 (Apr 12, 2014)

Wow, other than a post from you there wasn't a lot of good news, and I am really sorry to hear that things have not gone better for you!

A thought, from one who is about to have to watch his wife go through chemo and radiation therapy (we just got the news yesterday, so it is still sinking in.)

My wife's first reaction was flat out "no"... and I can understand that, I watched my mom, a cousin, and my ex-sister-in-law go through it, and it is not pleasant.

It was my ex-sister-in-law who made it clear for me - she echoed the thought that you have to go through hell to get to the other side, and added that if you do everything you possibly can do then you can never wonder if you could have done more.

Cancer is not the scary monster it once was, survival rates are at an all time high, and increasing. But it is still a nightmare, and when you are in the midst of it a nightmare that seems like it can not end.

I have no idea how much attitude affects outcome, but I'm inclined to think that attitude affects how you get through it, and at least from your posts it seems like you have the right attitude - questioning things you need to question, and continuing the fight.

What I have learned is that even the knowledge that there are people pulling for you makes a huge difference. So try to take some strength from the fact that there are many folks out here sending you positive thoughts.


----------



## Moderato Maestoso (Apr 12, 2014)

wst3 @ Sat Apr 12 said:


> A thought, from one who is about to have to watch his wife go through chemo and radiation therapy (we just got the news yesterday, so it is still sinking in.)



I'm really sorry to hear that... It can be a real shock. I can completely understand your wife's initial reaction. The chemo now is much better than even a few years ago, but the side effects can still be a real kicker. For me, fatigue was the worst.

I'm dreading radiotherapy, but I'm not really sure why. I guess it's the first time with a new treatment etc.

There have been times I have been close to refusing certain treatments, and I may yet do so. There comes a point where the treatment can be more debilitating than the disease...

I hope everything goes as well as possible.

"Cancer is not the scary monster it once was" - you're right, but when your primary cancer spreads to your lungs, spine, and brain, you begin to have a better understanding of the phrase "riddled with it", and the thought naturally goes through your head "at what point does it become untreatable?" You can't help that - it just happens...

Everyone else - thanks so much for your kind words and wishes 

Martin x


----------



## wst3 (Apr 12, 2014)

Hi Martin,

Yeah, while they are getting better with the various treatments I know I have to let my wife make the final decision - not an easy thing to do!

As you say, there has to be a balance between fighting and living - and I have no clue how one figures that out, so I'll just wish you the wisdom to do so, and the strength to carry the fight as long as you can! Obviously we are all hoping for a happy outcome. I hope you never reach the untreatable point!!!

FWIW, so far all of our medical friends have told us that modern radiotherapy has almost no side effects, although I think they mean to add "with respect to chemo". I hope that turns out to be true for you!

Thanks for the good wishes, they are reflected right back!


----------



## AC986 (Apr 12, 2014)

Best wishes to you and your wife Bill.

Keep talking Martin. Talk as much as you want.


----------



## jneebz (Apr 12, 2014)

Thanks for the update...was just thinking about you earlier today! Best wishes and stay strong, Martin. Praying for your comfort and quick healing.

-J


----------



## Moderato Maestoso (Apr 13, 2014)

As Creston said - quoting Churchill "When you're going through hell, keep going". It's very true. You can only move forward.

During my stay in hospital, I was introduced to the concept of auto-hypnosis - the ability to place oneself in a state of peace and calm. Although many of the nursing and care staff laughed at it (and the psychologist practicing it, which I found sad), I found it useful on many occasions. I wasn't skilled enough to keep myself in the calm place when the op to remove my implanted port became complicated, but it is certainly something I will use in the future.

My head is filled with so many thoughts - both dark and more positive. I'm finding this increasingly difficult to remain level-headed about this disease. It's a case of every day wondering "what's going to happen NEXT to mess my life up?"

Without the support of my friends and family, my Facebook network of old friends and colleagues, and you guys on VI-Control (incidentally, the ONLY forum I have felt comfortable sharing this news on, which I hope speaks to the membership and overall attitude of people on here, despite the occasional silly/petty flare ups), I couldn't have coped.

The most important thing is - life is for living. We make music, and even the most boring commission gives us a chance to practice our art. My worry is time, and how much I have to achieve the completion of my personal composition, which it is my dream to conduct in live performance one day. Please God, at least give me that opportunity.

M


----------



## AC986 (Apr 13, 2014)

Moderato Maestoso @ Sun Apr 13 said:


> My head is filled with so many thoughts - both dark and more positive. I'm finding this increasingly difficult to remain level-headed about this disease. It's a case of every day wondering "what's going to happen NEXT to mess my life up?"
> 
> M



It's normal to think that. Shows you're sane. I have seen, and I can get myself, unlevel-headed about stupid things like a cold or backache. I remember a friends girlfriend started screaming because she discovered a mole on her chest. Actually started screaming, running out of the house next door. I had to phone her boyfriend and get him to come back from work. Took her to the doctor and it turned out to be a ….mole. :| 

I had a small piece of wet tar flick up from a road and it must of stuck to my arm. I didn't feel it but later I discovered it and thought *WTF IS THAT!!!!!!!*

So get positive and get unpositive and level and unlevel headed when you feel like it.


----------



## TGV (Apr 13, 2014)

I too feel really sorry for you. That's such a string of bad luck. I hope that in some time you'll be able to look back on this and can find peace with it.

About auto-hypnosis: I've had a 20+ year career in cognitive and neuro-psychology, and I don't believe that the description is correct. The term hypnosis is just used loosely. But there are various methods of controlling some of the low-level brain processes, such as feelings of pain, hunger, etc. The brain is a weird instrument, and we've got little understanding of how to play it. If you've found a technique that works for you, it works, no matter how you call it.


----------



## Patrick de Caumette (Apr 13, 2014)

So sorry to hear about your condition.
It sounds like a really traumatic thing to go through.
Like everyone else says try to stay positive and keep the stress away if possible!
All the best for your recovery!

Bill, so sorry about your wife.
PM if you would like the contact info of a guy I met whose wife recovered from a stage 4 cancer. He lives in Philly.
He wrote a book about the whole therapy they followed, and I found it very interesting...


----------



## NYC Composer (Apr 13, 2014)

Time is precious, and I hope you get much more of it. Thinking good thoughts for you.


----------



## Hannes_F (Apr 14, 2014)

Martin, all the best for you!


----------



## Moderato Maestoso (Apr 14, 2014)

Thanks guys!

So, the ambulance picked me up at 6:30am for my appointment to have my implanted port reimplanted. Newer port, newer method of implantation. This was done under local anaesthetic.

When I was wheeled into the same room I had the previous hideous op to remove the previous port, I felt a shiver of trepidation, but despite this being pretty scary (they screened my head off completely from my right hand side, where it was being placed), it wasn't bad. I had the anaesthetist in full view at all times, and she gave me a lovely mixture of oxygen and nitrous oxide, plus they let me listen to music from my iPad (King Kong score for anyone interested  ).

Very unpleasant overall, but they made things as comfortable as possible. Hardly had to wait for the ambulance back home either!

M


----------



## Giant_Shadow (Apr 14, 2014)

Stay strong and positive. Music Therapy can be a incredible help.


----------



## Moderato Maestoso (Apr 15, 2014)

Off for my first treatment of radiotherapy. My mother told me when I was a kid I should try new experiences. Not sure this is what she had in mind though! :D


----------



## wst3 (Apr 15, 2014)

Moderato Maestoso @ Tue Apr 15 said:


> Off for my first treatment of radiotherapy. My mother told me when I was a kid I should try new experiences. Not sure this is what she had in mind though! :D



I'd bet not - but what the heck... you're there, might as well? Good luck!!!


----------



## AC986 (Apr 15, 2014)

Moderato Maestoso @ Tue Apr 15 said:


> Off for my first treatment of radiotherapy. My mother told me when I was a kid I should try new experiences. Not sure this is what she had in mind though! :D



It might make you feel ill. :lol: 


Let us know how it went, how it's going and have good rant if necessary. :D


----------



## Moderato Maestoso (Apr 15, 2014)

Well, in a surprise twist to the afternoon, it turned out that it was just a consultation to explain what's happening. Tomorrow I have a CT scan so they can "map" the area tp be treated in the computer. Then, I have 2 radiotherapy sessions on the 25th and the 2nd.

So, a nice surprise for a change! 

Martin


----------



## wst3 (Apr 15, 2014)

You and my wife are in sync - at least with respect to the radiation treatment. She had her consult today, but there are so many choices yet to be made that she won't go for the CT scan for a couple weeks yet.

FWIW, thus far I'd have to say that the Radiology Oncologist and her nurse had by far the best information, and bed side manner, of any of the doctors she has seen. I hope the same is true for you!

And let's hear it for nice surprises!!!


----------



## Gusfmm (Apr 15, 2014)

Martin, your attitude is truly inspiring, keep at it as you're definitely a warrior. Live each day to its fullest, as if the last, yet keeping your sight and hope in the tomorrow that may follow. That helps me keep things within reasonably practical perspective and not wanting to lose any second of the journey. My positive energy and thoughts with you.


----------



## AC986 (Apr 15, 2014)

Moderato Maestoso @ Tue Apr 15 said:


> So, a nice surprise for a change!
> 
> Martin



Yes. 

Have you contacted Lisa Gerard yet? You should take up Hans' offer on that. :wink:


----------



## snowleopard (Apr 15, 2014)

Hang in there Martin and hold your head up high. A positive attitude can go a long way and it seems reading through the posts you're on the right path. It may be very difficult and painful at times, but from a "friend's" outside perspective, you still have a lot of life left in you.


----------



## Moderato Maestoso (Apr 16, 2014)

Ha! Not yet Adrian. When this round of hospital visits finishes, I'm planning to see how out of the question / possible it is!


----------



## Giant_Shadow (Apr 17, 2014)

Keep that sense of humor cowboy. Money can't buy that.


----------



## Chriss Ons (Apr 18, 2014)

Martin, many of us can learn something from your courage.
And you too, Bill... Wish you guys the very best.


----------



## EastWest Lurker (Apr 18, 2014)

Best wishes. Fight the good fight.


----------



## JonnyB12 (Apr 18, 2014)

All the very best wishes to you Martin, and, Bill, to your wife.

Both very much in my thoughts, rooting for you both from up here in Cheshire

Jonny


----------



## TGV (Apr 18, 2014)

It's nice to hear things are a bit lighter. Strength and luck to you Marin, and to Bill's wife.


----------



## Moderato Maestoso (Apr 19, 2014)

Well, you can imagine how I felt on Thursday when the "HaD" (Hopitalisation a Domicile - they look after people when they leave hospital, provide the meds and materials like dressings as well as doing them) and said "we've arranged a hospital to take you to hospital immediately. Get ready", because my potassium was too high.

"When am I going to get a break" just about summed it up!

So, I was a pretty grumpy Martin. Overnight, they got my potassium down, but wanted to keep me in because they had found that I had renal insufficiency with my remaining kidney. For the first time in my life, I refused point blank. I'm not usually one to complain "officially", but I have done EVERYTHING the hospital has asked of me for over a year, as well as spending 8 of the last 9 weeks in hospital and 3 days of that week visiting as an outpatient.

Well, a BRILLIANT A&E doctor who went well above and beyond sent me for an emergency echocardiogram, which showed that my kidney was functioning perfectly, and arranged for me to come home last night.

What a star! I'm so happy to be home 

Martin


----------



## AC986 (Apr 19, 2014)

Well done Martin.Great news! Sit back and relax for a while.


----------



## Jaap (Apr 19, 2014)

Thought a lot about you the last months and what courage you have! Glad to hear you are back home and I hope you can set your mind at ease as far as it is possible at home.

Take care Martin and all the best wishes!


----------



## rpaillot (May 15, 2014)

Sorry to bring the sad news here : Martin just lost yesterday his battle against cancer. 

I will always remember his insightful posts and love for music. Always sad losing a fellow composer.

R.I.P Martin


----------



## Christof (May 15, 2014)

I am speechless...this so so sad.
Maybe the moderators could post a sticky note for us all to say goodbye to Martin...


----------



## Gusfmm (May 15, 2014)

Thanks a lot for sharing Roman. 

RIP Martin.


----------



## Creston (May 15, 2014)

So sad to hear this. Makes me feel terrible for thinking I have problems in my life. 

I hope he's up there conducting up a storm


----------



## TheUnfinished (May 15, 2014)

I just heard about Martin's sad passing.

He clearly had much more to give. So unfair. But his strength, courage and good humour have been very inspiring.

RIP.


----------



## Chriss Ons (May 15, 2014)

This is such devastating news... My sincere and heartfelt condolences to his family, friends, loved ones.
May you rest in peace, Martin.


----------



## Blakus (May 15, 2014)

Such a sad loss. RIP Martin. Thinking of all those close to him.


----------



## ThomasL (May 15, 2014)

Not what I wanted to read today. Rest in peace Martin.


----------



## wst3 (May 15, 2014)

no, not at all what I wanted to see here! Unbelievably awful that someone with such positive thoughts, not to mention so much more to give, should go so soon.

I never met him face to face, but I still feel a huge loss... my condolences to his family and friends!


----------



## artsoundz (May 15, 2014)

This makes me very sad. I followed his posts and was so impressed by his bravery.

I suspect, though, that a lot of people loved him very much. 

That helps.


----------



## Guy Rowland (May 15, 2014)

No no no. Speechless.


----------



## alanbuchanan (May 15, 2014)

Dreadful, sad news. Life is fragile. RIP Martin.


----------



## emid (May 15, 2014)

Rip Martin. Huge loss.


----------



## Hannes_F (May 15, 2014)

Saw this coming with open eyes and am sure Martin did, too. I am glad he found a community of caring and like-minded peers here that hopefully made his steps a little easier. Live in peace Martin.


----------



## EastWest Lurker (May 15, 2014)

So sorry to hear this. :(


----------



## RiffWraith (May 15, 2014)

:cry: 

Very sad... how old was he? Too young, I know. 

R.I.P. Martin.


----------



## Per Lichtman (May 15, 2014)

My condolences to Martin's friends family. He demonstrated such great maturity, poise and quiety dignity in these recent posts, with just a hint of a smile amidst honest expression of the difficulties of his process.

I can see that many of us share a great respect for the way he faced his journey.


----------



## Mike Greene (May 15, 2014)

Such a positive spirit. I'm so sad to see him go.


----------



## José Herring (May 15, 2014)

I was so hoping he'd beat it. RIP Martin.


----------



## NYC Composer (May 15, 2014)

Ah, damn. Was hoping, but no. Sad to hear about a fallen comrade.


----------



## Astronaut FX (May 15, 2014)

So sorry to hear this. Martin's strength, courage, and positive outlook was an inspiration


----------



## stonzthro (May 15, 2014)

That is indeed sad - cancer is such a terrible monster.


----------



## The Darris (May 15, 2014)

This was incredibly sad to read tonight.


----------



## Daniel James (May 16, 2014)

Shit that's terrible. May he rest in peace!


----------



## SymphonicSamples (May 16, 2014)

Very sad news ... You know , only a few hours ago I was driving home and thinking about what I needed to do . Strangely enough it would seem now , I thought about Martin and a thread he posted back in April , and made a mental note to send him a private message tonight asking how he went with his dream of contacting Lisa Gerrard . I trust his music is in good hands and sincere condolences to his friends and family.


----------



## Ganvai (May 16, 2014)

How awful!

Rest in peace, Martin.


----------



## Przemek K. (May 16, 2014)

This is truly sad:( Rest in peace Martin.


----------



## Resoded (May 16, 2014)

Very saddened to hear that, and my condolences to his family and friends.


----------



## ryanstrong (May 16, 2014)

Super bummed to read this. Rest peacefully Martin.


----------



## Barrie B (May 16, 2014)

Terrible news indeed, 

B


----------



## AC986 (May 16, 2014)

Moderato Maestoso @ Wed Apr 16 said:


> Ha! Not yet Adrian. When this round of hospital visits finishes, I'm planning to see how out of the question / possible it is!



:( :( :( :( :( :(


----------



## Jem7 (May 16, 2014)

I'm speechless. This is really sad. 
R.I.P. Martin :(


----------



## korgoasys (May 16, 2014)

Very very saddened indeed. As a comfort, there's a saying that you never die when you live on in the hearts that loved you. I'm certain it applies to Martin's family and friends.

Patrick


----------



## R. Soul (May 16, 2014)

Very shocked and sad to read this. :(

My condolences to friends and family.


----------



## Carles (May 16, 2014)

Recently wondering about him.
I've learnt a lot about what should be important and what not in your life when he told us about the illness with such a positive attitude.
Really sad.


----------



## Stephen Baysted (May 16, 2014)

RIP. Very very sad.


----------



## mmendez (May 16, 2014)

Wow, hard to find the words. Rest in Peace, Martin. :(


----------



## MichaelL (May 16, 2014)

Very sad indeed. Rest in peace Martin.


----------



## Brobdingnagian (May 16, 2014)

Such dreadful news. He always showed such dignity, grace and such a brave face throughout it all.

Rest in Peace, Martin.


----------



## Phil M (May 16, 2014)

Always the good ones, isn't it? :( RIP Martin


----------



## TGV (May 16, 2014)

I'm shocked too to hear the news, and saddened. It's always sad to get news about a loss, more so when it's a young person, and even more when it's from someone who looked for a bit of support from us. I still remember some of the descriptions he gave of his sickness, and of his struggle to continue with the treatment, and the bad luck and pain he had to endure. I guess his music was one of the things that gave him a bit more strength. I remember reading he was hoping to finish a piece and perform it for cancer awareness benefit next year.

Requiescat in Pace, Martin, may you rest in peace, and eternal music.


----------



## marclawsonmusic (May 16, 2014)

Poor fellow. How sad to hear this news. RIP.


----------



## Stephen Baysted (May 16, 2014)

Guys, perhaps now is not the time or perhaps it is. But I've been thinking that we should do something really positive in Martin's memory and produce something that will benefit cancer charities worldwide. Unfortunately there is no one that this damned disease doesn't and hasn't touched in one way or another. 

I wonder whether we could put together an album of music from which all sales/syncs/profits are donated to charity? What shape or form this might take is another question, but we should do something. 

Cheers


----------



## artsoundz (May 16, 2014)

A really great idea. Sweet. 
I would contribute a piece I have all ready to go. 

So, there's one piece. Next?


----------



## Matthijs van Wissen (May 16, 2014)

Such sad news... I'm also shocked and speechless. Rest in peace Martin.


----------



## wst3 (May 16, 2014)

I too think some form of charitable memorial would be fitting.

And if anyone has contact info for any of Martin's family I think it might also be a nice gesture to package this thread up and send it along to them. While I'm sure they know he was one of the good guys, it might help to know how many hear considered him a friend. And how he touched us all.


----------



## RiffWraith (May 16, 2014)

Bill - great idea.

Stephen - great idea. Should it ever come to fruition, you can count me in.


----------



## jneebz (May 16, 2014)

Damn. Praying for comfort for family and friends.

Rest in peace, Martin.


----------



## paulmatthew (May 16, 2014)

Rest in Peace , Martin. I always admired how you stood up to the challenges in your life and career and never backed down.


----------



## Resoded (May 17, 2014)

Stephen Baysted @ 16th May 2014 said:


> Guys, perhaps now is not the time or perhaps it is. But I've been thinking that we should do something really positive in Martin's memory and produce something that will benefit cancer charities worldwide. Unfortunately there is no one that this damned disease doesn't and hasn't touched in one way or another.
> 
> I wonder whether we could put together an album of music from which all sales/syncs/profits are donated to charity? What shape or form this might take is another question, but we should do something.
> 
> Cheers



This is a great idea. I'm in.

On a similar topic. Since Martins last update, I've been thinking about something. Wouldn't it be cool if we could somehow manage to get one of Martins pieces to be orchestrated, recorded by an orchestra, mixed and mastered by professionals?


----------



## Guy Rowland (May 17, 2014)

Resoded @ Sat May 17 said:


> Stephen Baysted @ 16th May 2014 said:
> 
> 
> > Guys, perhaps now is not the time or perhaps it is. But I've been thinking that we should do something really positive in Martin's memory and produce something that will benefit cancer charities worldwide. Unfortunately there is no one that this damned disease doesn't and hasn't touched in one way or another.
> ...



Yes to what you said yes to and yes to your idea. Does anyone have any contact with the family directly?


----------



## Jdiggity1 (May 17, 2014)

Martin was in the process of writing a piece for a cancer awareness concert, correct?
Do we know how far he got with that?


----------



## rpaillot (May 17, 2014)

Guy Rowland @ Sat May 17 said:


> Resoded @ Sat May 17 said:
> 
> 
> > Stephen Baysted @ 16th May 2014 said:
> ...



I think Peter Roos might have some closer contacts ?


----------



## AC986 (May 17, 2014)

Stephen Baysted @ Fri May 16 said:


> Guys, perhaps now is not the time or perhaps it is. But I've been thinking that we should do something really positive in Martin's memory and produce something that will benefit cancer charities worldwide. Unfortunately there is no one that this damned disease doesn't and hasn't touched in one way or another.
> 
> I wonder whether we could put together an album of music from which all sales/syncs/profits are donated to charity? What shape or form this might take is another question, but we should do something.
> 
> Cheers



A really good idea Stephen. Believe it or not I had thought similar but you came out with it and that's what counts. One track per in a genre of comfort for anyone. Who would want to, or be able to administrate?


----------



## kb123 (May 17, 2014)

His Mum has been posting on his facebook page so if there are no other contact methods, you could try that https://www.facebook.com/moderatomaestoso


----------



## wst3 (May 17, 2014)

I sent a message to his Mum on FB last night to let her know that a small, ragtag group of composers was missing her son... not sure if she'll see it or not. I'll let you know.


----------



## playz123 (May 17, 2014)

To Martin's family and friends....wishing you comfort, wishing you peace. Sincere condolences..............frank


----------



## Jaap (May 17, 2014)

I am completely and utterly without words.....

Rest in peace Martin. I can only truly say that I admired your will and strength and all my thoughts and wishes to his family.
If there will be something to organise for him, count me in.


----------



## TGV (May 17, 2014)

In memory of Martin, I made this track today, an arrangement for strings of Bach's aria Come, sweet death: https://soundcloud.com/tgv/komm-suesser-tod


----------



## blougui (May 17, 2014)

I don't know Martin. I've just read a post a few weeks or months ago and it was about his coming back to the hospital with a bad news. The mother of one of my daughter's friend just died of cancer and that was a shock as she didn't tell us she had been treated for cancer - not even to her child. Of course, Martin was pissed off to go back through all this. 
2nde time was yesterday, when the weird and unpleasant posts of a man (about midi demos sold or not by devs) pushed another Vi user to link the thread about Martin. I learnt about his death and I read the first Martin posts and from then on I was – am – in shock. 
All the whining about this and that – devs not replying in a flash to our demands, the computer that goes mad without obvious reason, the clients and their neverending requests and miserable money... all of it seemed and seems vain.
Why ? Because of death ? Because our lives are bound to return to « ashes », except to memories in the mind of others ?
Death is the end of the road and so it is for everyone. Sure it is sad and painful for the survivors, especially when it hits relatives. But everyone has to die, one day or the other, the later the better if so one wish. 
But not everyone has to go through a hell of suffering. This is what's so unbearable for me, as a new VI user and a total stranger, about Martin. The fight, the all so long struggle against the desease. The pain associated. The fear. The fight again – and all this for close to nothing. This is what makes me so sad about the death of a man I didn't know. He surely didn't deserve this suffering. No one does. Sorry I don't come up with words of relief. I cannot.

- Erik


----------



## Lex (May 18, 2014)

This news made me more sad then I can put in words.
Definitely count me in with a track for the cancer research album.

alex


----------



## Blackster (May 18, 2014)

I just saw this thread and had no idea of what's going on! 

This is very very sad!! RIP Martin! And my deepest condolences to his family! :(


----------



## germancomponist (May 18, 2014)

So sad. I have admired Martin!

RIP Martin!


----------



## Ed (May 18, 2014)

ugh... this sucks. ... I thought this would have a happy ending, the other thread seemed really positive... :/ ... I feel bad because I was considering posting back on page 1, but didnt know what to say as I couldnt imagine saying something that would have the weight it needed to have. Now I wish I had said something. :(


----------



## Richard Bowling (May 18, 2014)

Well it's never easy to deal with death in any form. I came here hoping to see a different update. Dropped mY heart to floor.


----------



## G.R. Baumann (May 18, 2014)

I read what he wrote on his illness, but never knew what to write in reply for comfort. I remember not so long ago when Hans encouraged him to contact Lisa. I hoped that he might have a chance to work with her. Very sad in deed!


----------



## Luca Capozzi (May 18, 2014)

so sad to read he lost his battle :( R.I.P. Martin


----------



## Ryan (May 19, 2014)

ohh, very sad news indeed! Rest in peace. 

Also makes me think how this could happen to anyone around, even me! 
Count me in on the album! I even called my Bleeding Fingers Contest track for Cancer Research...


----------

