# My new ground rules for myself. Others too?



## Ashermusic (Oct 12, 2010)

I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem so these are my new ground rules for myself.

1. I may criticize a statement by someone I respect but I will not criticize the person.

2. If it is a member I do not respect, I will ignore him.

3. When a member makes a statement that is damaging to another member's reputation, I will condemn that in the strongest possible terms as surely that is not what we are here for. It is my hope that others will then support that, as they did recently.

4. When #3 occurs and the moderators deal with it effectively, as was done IMHO in the recent incident, I will congratulate them and let them know how much I appreciate them. When they do not, I am going to try to urge them to do something. They took on this responsibility and while I know they believe in a light touch, having moderators who do not moderate is kind of pointless.

5. When I am angry and about to write something harsh I will write it into my word processor instead of the forum and wait a half hour so that I can cool down and re-examine it before I decide to edit it and post it or not.

6. I am going to try to remind myself that everyone here is a human being and imperfect and just as I hope to be forgiven when I behave badly, understand that others who are normally good people may have their bad moments too.

7. I will try to remind myself that what may come off as a mild statement if someone saw the expression on my face or heard my tone of voice, in print may come off more stridently so I need to dial it back at times.

Feel free to add to this list and I know that you all will feel free to disagree with some or most of it 

One thing I wish to clarify. I have made it clear that I have certain criteria for whose opinions I value on musical matters but in no way does that reflect how much (or little) I respect them as human beings.


----------



## Ashermusic (Oct 12, 2010)

94 views and not a single comment?


----------



## midphase (Oct 12, 2010)

I respect and agree with your self-imposed rules. They seem to be what I would deem basic common sense online etiquette, especially dealing with a forum populated by "professionals."

I guess what I want to say is that I don't see a flagrant problem here. Sure every once in a while someone says something that they shouldn't...but either I don't get out much...or I think it's a few and far between scenario.

What I do see however are people taking non-personal negative comments way too personally. Sometimes it seems like people read personal attacks where there are none.

Also...of note to developers....even though we're talking about their "baby" that they just spent an inordinate amount of hours creating...to the public they are just product. So when someone goes to write some negative review on a new hot sample library, I think it's a mistake for the developer to take that as a personal affront.


----------



## Mike Greene (Oct 12, 2010)

Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> 94 views and not a single comment?


Okay. Looks like a great list.  

I think this site already has rules in place that have served it well for the better part of a decade, so although I don't necessarily disagree with any of your points, I don't really feel the need to change any general guidelines of conduct, on a voluntary person by person case or otherwise.

Certainly it would be nice if everyone were civil, but it's not like a hundred or two hundred or three hundred of us signing some pledge is going to keep the rare clod from doing what a clod does. I don't worry that much about it because when the clod goes too far, rules are in place and I think the mods have handled various instances really, really well over the years.

I'm not trying to slam your ground rules, by way, and others may disagree with me. I'm just explaining why I didn't comment the first time I read. Sorta like when I sometimes don't comment when I listen to a piece in "Composition Review." :mrgreen:


----------



## Jaap (Oct 12, 2010)

Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> 94 views and not a single comment?





> 2. If it is a member I do not respect, I will ignore him.




Sorry, couldn't resist :mrgreen:


----------



## Ashermusic (Oct 12, 2010)

Jaap @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:
> 
> 
> > 94 views and not a single comment?
> ...



Actually, that is _really_ funny  Good one Jaap!


----------



## Ian Dorsch (Oct 12, 2010)

I think it's a great list, Jay. I find #5-7 particularly applicable to my own posting habits.


----------



## Mike Greene (Oct 12, 2010)

Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> Jaap @ Tue Oct 12 said:
> 
> 
> > Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:
> ...


Indeed it was. I laughed out loud at that one, too. :mrgreen:


----------



## Guy Bacos (Oct 12, 2010)

[quote:1dfb13b4dd="Mike Greene @ Tue Oct 12, 2010 1:36 pm"][quote:1dfb13b4dd="Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:34 am"][quote:1dfb13b4dd="Jaap @ Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:25 am"][quote:1dfb13b4dd="Ashermusic @ ò*   ë8Q*   ë8R*   ë8S*   ë8T*   ë8U*   ë8V*   ë8W*   ë8X*   ë8Y*   ë8Z*   ë8[*   ë8\*   ë8]*   ë8^*   ë8_*   ë8`*   ë8a*   ë8b*   ë8c*   ë8d*   ë8e*   ë8f*   ë8g*   ë8h*   ë8i*   ë8j*   ë8k*   ë8l*   ë8m*   ë8n*   ë8o*   ë8p*   ë8q*   ë8r*   ë8s*   ë8t*   ë8u*   ë8v*   ë8w*   ë8x*   ë8y*   ë8z*   ë8{*   ë8|*   ë8}*   ë8~*   ë8*   ë8€*   ë8


----------



## Ashermusic (Oct 12, 2010)

Jaap @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> Haha thanks
> 
> I also tend to visit topic which are quite loaded only when I feel "motivated" to join them. In other words; when I am not tired and stressed by work and when I have time to really take a topic into consideration and that I have time as well to take some distance from it.
> 
> ...


----------



## Mike Greene (Oct 12, 2010)

Jay, I've got one more item for your list:

#8 - If I quote a previous poster using the "Quote" button and then erase a paragraph or sentence or whatever, then I will be careful to not also erase an all-important bracket. This way a quote will look like a quote . . . instead of:



Jaap @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> Haha thanks
> 
> I also tend to visit topic which are quite loaded only when I feel "motivated" to join them. In other words; when I am not tired and stressed by work and when I have time to really take a topic into consideration and that I have time as well to take some distance from it.
> 
> ...


----------



## rJames (Oct 12, 2010)

Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> 94 views and not a single comment?



Isn't this how that other thread got started? :D


----------



## Guy Bacos (Oct 12, 2010)

rJames @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:
> 
> 
> > 94 views and not a single comment?
> ...



lol


----------



## Mike Greene (Oct 12, 2010)

Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> 2. If it is a member I do not respect, I will ignore him.


I can't help but notice that I've posted three times in this thread, yet gotten no response from Jay.

:mrgreen:


----------



## Ashermusic (Oct 12, 2010)

Mike Greene @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:
> 
> 
> > 2. If it is a member I do not respect, I will ignore him.
> ...



I respect you, man, I respect you!

Shh, Mike is just to big a guy gfor me to risk pissing him off.


----------



## Mike Greene (Oct 12, 2010)

Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> I respect you, man, I respect you!
> 
> Shh, Mike is just to big a guy for me to risk pissing him off.


Well, now I'm ignoring YOU! Ha! Double ha!

Good luck getting me to sell that Vox Continental now!


----------



## Ashermusic (Oct 12, 2010)

Mike Greene @ Tue Oct 12 said:


> Ashermusic @ Tue Oct 12 said:
> 
> 
> > I respect you, man, I respect you!
> ...



Oh yeah? Well triple HA to you!

I can't afford the Vox Continental anymore anyway.


----------



## Jaap (Oct 13, 2010)

Having fun guys? :mrgreen:

Maybe another addition to the rule set.

If things get too emotional make some fun somewhere else on the forum. Unleash some jokes to take off the pressure from the cooking pan (heck I have no idea if this is as well an expression in English, but it sounds good to me ) and also show another side of yourself with that now and then which can put yourself (and others) in a completely different daylight (and with loaded topics going on, I think that might be needed from time to time)


----------

