# What instrument annoys you?



## Flaneurette (Apr 17, 2017)

Let me start with the most obvious and get this going...







I tried the Harmonica when I was young. And destroyed my lips in the process... truly can't stand it's thin and razorsharp twanky sound... I guess the pan flute is a good second.


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## Michael K. Bain (Apr 17, 2017)

Church organ annoys me.


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## chimuelo (Apr 17, 2017)

Kazoos make me search for tomatoes.....
Just did a gig with a smokin' Harp player so can't say a Horner chaps my ass...


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## KEnK (Apr 17, 2017)

"Epic percussion" -
It's just reverb, a stylistic marketing trick, and done to death.

People make jokes about banjo, bagpipes and accordion- 
but those instruments are all "real", 
each has an actual historical legacy complete w/ their own evolutions.

What is "epic percussion"?
Did you ever meet an "epic percussionist"?
It's a joke.

k


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## SterlingArcher (Apr 17, 2017)

KEnK said:


> "Epic percussion" -
> It's just reverb, a stylistic marketing trick, and done to death.
> 
> People make jokes about banjo, bagpipes and accordion-
> ...



Well I have never met him but I'll put a vote down for Chas Smith for Epic Percussion/Epic Percussionist. He's made some pretty much epic stuff. Not sure how much is out there in the wild though. I think Charlie Clouser has a piece of his.


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## KEnK (Apr 17, 2017)

SterlingArcher said:


> I'll put a vote down for Chas Smith for Epic Percussion/Epic Percussionist.


Does he refer to himself as an "Epic Percussionist"?
Does he call the instruments he builds "Epic Percussion"?
My guess is probably not.

k


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## Polkasound (Apr 17, 2017)

The stumpf fiddle, also known in Wisconsin as a bumba stick. Polka musicians regard it as the most detested and abhorred noise-making contraption on earth.


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## re-peat (Apr 18, 2017)

Polkasound said:


> the most detested and abhorred noise-making contraption on earth


I thought Chris de Burgh ran away with that title.
If not, then my vote goes to Kirk Hunter libraries.

_


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## ghostnote (Apr 18, 2017)

KEnK said:


> What is "epic percussion"?
> Did you ever meet an "epic percussionist"?
> It's a joke.


It sure must be one. Ever heard of these guys?



Yes one could argue that it falls into the ethnic percussion category and based on the undertone many people here around seem to a.) pack this into sound design and b.) seem to be annoyed by the "epic" genre, which btw is not the same as trailermusic. Is the mahler hammer part of the traditional orchestra? Nope, but it's there for a reason, for a specific effect.


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## Ashermusic (Apr 18, 2017)

Flaneurette said:


> Let me start with the most obvious and get this going...
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I can't imagine how anyone could listen to Stevie Wonder, or Toots Thielman, or Tommy Morgan play harmonica and come away annoyed. Or even Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, John Lennon and Mick Jagger.


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## KEnK (Apr 18, 2017)

ghostnote said:


> ...Ever heard of these guys?
> 
> ...Yes one could argue that it falls into the ethnic percussion category and based on the undertone many people here around seem to a.) pack this into sound design and b.) seem to be annoyed by the "epic" genre, which btw is not the same as trailermusic. Is the mahler hammer part of the traditional orchestra? Nope, but it's there for a reason, for a specific effect.


Taiko Drums and Drumming have been around since the 6th century.
It's a very serious disciplined tradition w/ a long history.
I used to get to watch the S.F. group "Taiko Dojo" practice weekly. Amazing thing to see.
It has nothing to do w/ "Epic Percussion" except through a marketing ploy or trendy usurpation of another tradition.
Btw- performers of Taiko Drumming (or any other so-called "World Music") don't consider what they do "ethnic".
That's a Western centric imposition. Do you also consider a guitar, violin, oboe, etc. "ethnic" as well?
I think musicians who perform on Mahler's Hammer consider themselves to be a "percussionist", not a "hammerist".

Sorry- there is actually no such thing as "Epic Percussion"
It's like Superman's cape- it generates a lot of money but doesn't exist.

k


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## ghostnote (Apr 18, 2017)

Ken, you are twisting things up here. Epic Percussion is a modern and diffuse term which is made up by composers: A, let's say genre and a wide range of percussive elements to get the most impressive sound out of it. Get yourself the manual of Storm Drum 2: Are these percussive elements (except the sound design samples, which don't count here) all real and playable? Yes they are, they all have names. Same game with the orchestral elements: If you combine them and let's say you play something "epic" with it, isn't it an epic orchestra then? I guess you also could go for simply Orchestra instead.

You just seem to dislike the term epic and the use amongst the newer generation. I personally dislike it too, but you just seem to search for a reason to put it down. For the record: I also use loads of percussion. My percussion stem is labeled "Percussion" the other "Drumkit". I don't use loops. The same amount of reverb. I also tend to put as much time in programming the percussion as I need for example the strings. Do I want it to sound big and impressive? Of course I do! Would I call it epic? Probably not.


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## MA-Simon (Apr 18, 2017)

Hurdy Gurdy:


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## KEnK (Apr 18, 2017)

ghostnote said:


> Ken, you are twisting things up here. Epic Percussion is a modern and diffuse term which is made up by composers: A, let's say genre and a wide range of percussive elements to get the most impressive sound out of it. Get yourself the manual of Storm Drum 2: Are these percussive elements (except the sound design samples, which don't count here) all real and playable? Yes they are, they all have names.


The topic is "What instrument annoys you"?
I answered simply and directly.
I have Storm Drum 2. I don't know what you're getting at there-
as to "real", most people here draw a distinction between a "virtual orchestra" and a "real orchestra"
w/ that in mind, I think it's fair to say none of the instruments in SD2 are "real".
No sampled instrument is "real".

The "real" problem is the hypersensitivity of "The Epic Composers".
This was supposedly a fun silly topic. You guys take yourselves far too seriously.
Lighten up. 

k


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## chimuelo (Apr 18, 2017)

My Uncle use to play a Saw like a Violin during his Shriner Marches.
I thought he was all of it as a kid, silly cap and everything.
But back at dinner we'd beg him to play more and the Family would always say Walt Disney will be on, sure you dont want to watch (Senator Warren as) Pocahontas?
No...we want Uncle Tony to play more.....we didn't even like Liberals back then.....


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## ghostnote (Apr 18, 2017)

KEnK said:


> as to "real", most people here draw a distinction between a "virtual orchestra" and a "real orchestra"
> w/ that in mind, I think it's fair to say none of the instruments in SD2 are "real".


Of course they are not real, you're too funny Ken. These are sampled instruments which have been played in by a person. A real instrument that can be played on stage. Everything DAW-/soundesign-/layeringrelated that comes after that is part of the composing process and not considered to be an instrument.

To stay on topic: Violas are giving me the cringe sometimes.


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## KEnK (Apr 18, 2017)

chimuelo said:


> My Uncle use to play a Saw like a Violin during his Shriner Marches


I used to see a guy playing an "electric saw" in clubs around here- w/ distortion!
Pretty impressive sound he had going- not unlike "3rd Stone from the Sun"
Since then I've thought I should get one someday, but they don't have them at Guitar Center.
So did your Uncle file the teeth off? I imagine that would be the 1st step.
Did he play Alto or Tenor Saw? 

k


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## Flaneurette (Apr 18, 2017)

MA-Simon said:


> Hurdy Gurdy:




OH, I actually love it!  drones are always good.


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## Flaneurette (Apr 18, 2017)

Ashermusic said:


> I can't imagine how anyone could listen to Stevie Wonder, or Toots Thielman, or Tommy Morgan play harmonica and come away annoyed. Or even Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, John Lennon and Mick Jagger.



Yes, I actually don't like their music... except for John Lennon, maybe.... without Harmonica. Never enjoyed Bob Dylan, don't understand what people see in his music? Same with Springsteen, Stevie Wonder, The Stones... maybe it's taste? it's interesting that they all play harmonica, as I don't like all of them. Haha!


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## chimuelo (Apr 18, 2017)

It was definitely in the Alto range KenK.
But bent into Soprano range.
He was an excellent self taught Cajun & Bluegrass Fiddler too.
Grew up in an area during the Great Depression where music was as important as eating.


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## KEnK (Apr 18, 2017)

chimuelo said:


> Grew up in an area during the Great Depression where music was as important as eating.


And now it's as disposable as toilet paper. 
Was talking to my wonderful Mother-In-Law the other day about the superior level of musicianship among Cubans.
I theorized that the poverty has something to do w/ it.
In my personal experience, there is some truth to that.


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## Michael K. Bain (Apr 18, 2017)

re-peat said:


> I thought Chris de Burgh ran away with that title.
> _


You paid the ferryman, didn't you? And it didn't work so well, did it? Don't take it out on Chris; he warned you.


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## chimuelo (Apr 19, 2017)

KEnK said:


> And now it's as disposable as toilet paper.
> Was talking to my wonderful Mother-In-Law the other day about the superior level of musicianship among Cubans.
> I theorized that the poverty has something to do w/ it.
> In my personal experience, there is some truth to that.



Poverty and Unity amongst family as resources are scarce so learning how to share, forgive and group music where your wife/husband sucks, but is tolerated.
I learned Ranchero music and sang with Mexicans while working.
We kept 2 Accordians in our gangbox that were used at Lunch, especially on payday.
This is where I learned that a DiLuca Accordian Case was perfect for a long throw 16 Channel mixer.
For local 1-200 seat gigs I have a Peavey/Crest FX2 16 Channel Console.
DiLuca makes quality cases by order shaped like a wedge.
Perfect...


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## NYC Composer (Apr 19, 2017)

Instruments don't annoy me. People, on the other hand....


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## Ashermusic (Apr 19, 2017)

NYC Composer said:


> Instruments don't annoy me. People, on the other hand....


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## Jaap (Apr 20, 2017)

I am still in recovery from the 2010 Vuvuzela insanity , so I guess this instrument wins it for me


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## KEnK (Apr 20, 2017)

Jaap said:


> I am still in recovery from the 2010 Vuvuzela insanity


Hah! I forgot about that one.
I think that thing wins for most annoying ever. 

k


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## tack (Apr 22, 2017)

Flaneurette said:


>



I watched this, and then spent the next half hour clicking through related cat videos.

Oh, Internet, you never disappoint.


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## Saxer (Apr 24, 2017)

Distorted guitars for me. Not when playing solo but distorted chord walls trigger my immediate switch off music reflex.
I know this excludes a wide variety of music styles for me (metal, grunge, gothic, heavy...) but hey, I'm fine without.


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## James Marshall (May 3, 2017)

I think any instrument can be annoying if played badly or in the wrong context.

For me, not an instrument per se, but it's got to be the deliberately overly auto-tuned vocals found in a lot of popular music. Sends shivers down my spine!


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## NYC Composer (May 4, 2017)

Saxer said:


> Distorted guitars for me. Not when playing solo but distorted chord walls trigger my immediate switch off music reflex.
> I know this excludes a wide variety of music styles for me (metal, grunge, gothic, heavy...) but hey, I'm fine without.


Saxer, do you like rock 'n roll? Here's a song you'll hate that I love. It's stupid, but what can I say. Listen loud.


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## Rowy (May 4, 2017)

High pitched instruments like a soprano recorder. The instruments that make dogs bark.


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## Saxer (May 4, 2017)

NYC Composer said:


> Saxer, do you like rock 'n roll? Here's a song you'll hate that I love. It's stupid, but what can I say. Listen loud.



Good voice, good drums, good song... I heard it loud... but not more than a minute  Sorry.


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## Flaneurette (May 8, 2017)

Polkasound said:


> The stumpf fiddle, also known in Wisconsin as a bumba stick. Polka musicians regard it as the most detested and abhorred noise-making contraption on earth.



That's just horrible... truly horrible...  even worse than the harmonica. I think we found it!


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## Polkasound (May 8, 2017)

_An excerpt from one of my annual April Fool's emails:_
*
Ebenezer "Bumba" Miller, Inventor Of the Stumpf Fiddle, Dies*
April 1, 2015

The man whose spur-of-the-moment invention became a legendary polka instrument passed away at his home in Lancaster, Pennsylvania Monday night, surrounded by hundreds of family and friends. Ebenezer "Bumba" Miller was 102.

According to Miller's son, Jeremiah, Ebenezer was in his early teens attending a barn dance when he noticed the fiddle band was performing without a percussionist. Ebenezer quickly fashioned together an impromptu instrument by nailing various items to a stick, including a suspension spring from a horse-drawn buggy, a pie tin, a cow bell, and a wood block. The stumpf fiddle, and its arguably notorious reputation, was born.

Although the instrument, also commonly called a bumba stick, grew in popularity among the farming community, the professional musicians of the era held the boisterous instrument in disdain. In 1941, lawmakers in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, outlawed the bumba stick under intense pressure from the local musicians union. But the law was repealed just fifteen minutes later when protesters showed up at the front steps of the courthouse and played their stumpf fiddles non-stop.

"It was the loudest, most horrific wall of noise I'd ever heard in my life!" recalled one lawmaker. "It sounded like a thousand rattle snakes looting a hardware store!"

The two protesters were cited for disorderly conduct, but the fate of the stumpf fiddle as an irrevocable icon of American folk music had been sealed.

Miller's original stumpf fiddle is on permanent exhibit at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington D.C., even though most of the instrument has rotted away due to having been tossed into Jacob's Creek the night it was invented.

Miller will be laid to rest at Oak Grove Cemetery in a beautiful, wood-inlaid casket that he built himself. The community will hold a memorial picnic on Wednesday, April 1st at Hiram Schwartz's farmstead on Old Maple Road. Proper attire is required -- this will be a straw hat event.


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## Saxer (May 9, 2017)

NYC Composer said:


> Saxer, do you like rock 'n roll? Here's a song you'll hate that I love. It's stupid, but what can I say. Listen loud.



There's the result of my first therapy lesson... 
http://vi-control.net/community/threads/the-1-hour-procrastination-challenge.61848/#post-4086565


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## NYC Composer (May 9, 2017)

Ha! Good stuff, Saxer! Might be a little over the top level wise, but I liked it!


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