# What do you really want?



## JohnG (Sep 2, 2020)

I think a lot of composers and artists possess at most a vague idea of what they really want.


"I want to write poems like Robert Frost."
"I want to write scores for action movies like 'The Avengers'"
"I want..."

I think it's quite useful to try to put one's finger on exactly what one is trying to do, for two main reasons:

1. So you know and can either get on with it or say to yourself, "wait, I don't actually want to do that after all!" and

2. Start doing what you need to do to get there.

*What Do I Want?*

Do you really want to write hit songs? Do you really want to have a huge orchestra playing your material? Does it have to be a hit film? A fantasy / sci-fi? Gritty reality?

Some people go to the movies or play a game and want to recreate that exact experience -- not just of a movie theatre or game, but that specific genre/style etc. That exact kind of film.

One question is whether you really want to work that hard, in that kind of pressure, to do that one thing. Even with my own modest gigs, there is plenty of competition, hardly any sleep (sometimes for weeks at a time), a need to continually maintain relationships with people (including one's family) and a need to learn totally unfamiliar styles of music at the drop of a hat.

If you don't want to work 80 hours a week, then think of something else.

Moreover, we already have Robert Frost and Alan Silvestri. They do a good job at being them. It's a good idea to ask yourself, instead, "do I have anything to say?" or rather, "what do I, personally, as an individual with the joys and sorrows of MY life, have to say about what it's like to be here?"

That may sound over-serious but I think it's those reservoirs that we need to draw on to write /compose / paint our best material.

*Am I Heading Where I Want to Go?*

So, if you really think you have gone through a disciplined exercise in identifying what you truly want, specifically, the next question is whether you are actually doing the things you know you will need to get there.

Is buying another string library really going to help? I mean, maybe it will? (I hope so; I think I have 10.) But for me, I have to keep pushing on all the other skills that I am less interested in, like electronics or mixing, or styles I don't really favour but that I know I need to have ready.

Maybe what you need is to learn orchestration or Pro Tools editing so you can get in with another, more established composer? Maybe you should attend to parties at which you could meet people who might hire you? Maybe work on your ability to write faster? Each of us knows our areas we neglect.

Ask yourself this: _Suppose someone called from Warner Bros or wherever and said, "You've got the job!" Would I really be ready?_

Of course, nobody's ever really ready for anything (parenthood, marriage, school, the Big Game) but it does help if you've been at least working on the things you KNOW you need to work on.

Old saying: "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."


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## JonS (Sep 2, 2020)

JohnG said:


> I think a lot of composers and artists possess at most a vague idea of what they really want.
> 
> "I want to write poems like Robert Frost."
> 
> ...


"Dear Universe, thank you for providing me with the most successful entertainment brands in the history of the world."

The folklore is not to state what one wants as that act suggests longing not completion technically. So though I love John's post in its intention technically one should manifest intention by believing it's happening. This may feel like delusional thinking but instead of wanting something to occur in the future you are summoning immediate action that things are already unfolding in the present that are making this reality occur.


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## tonaliszt (Sep 2, 2020)

Terrific post John. 

It gets to something I've been finding out a lot recently. A lot of people want to write film music, but not a lot of people want to write a film score. Interestingly, this is most prevalent, it seems to me, at both ends of the film music spectrum: the trailer music composers, and the John Williams orchestral-only composers.

I've very curious to ask both you and other experienced members of the forum. When did you find out what you wanted to write (beyond "I want to sound like so and so")? What events in your life influenced this?


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## Mike Greene (Sep 2, 2020)

That's a really good post and I won't disagree with any of it, although ... for me personally, I don't think I ever had any specific goals. I guess I wanted to be a rock star (that didn't happen and is appearing less and less likely with each passing decade) and I guess I wanted to get laid (at least that part did happen, although again, less and less likely with each passing decade).

But in terms of specific goals, I never really had them. Even songwriting and production, which I think are my strengths, I never gave a damn about either one of them until certain opportunities landed in my lap, and only then did I learn how cool they both were.

Definitely never had scoring for TV as a goal. And certainly never dreamed of starting a software company. Rather than having specific goals, my career has been more of a _"Let's see what happens"_ thing.

That's not to say I disagree with the premise of having a plan, because I definitely see a lot of value in that. After all, not everyone can bumble their way into opportunity after opportunity.

Hmmm ... looking back, though, I really did have a specific goal of being that rock star, and now that I think about it, I did literally everything I could to achieve that goal. (Maybe I should delete the first paragraphs, because what I'm about to write completely contradicts them.) As one bandmate would say, _"We knew Mike was the right guy because when we went to his apartment, there was nothing there but gear and food."_ I didn't even have a chair. My car was a used county coroner's station wagon. Cheap and great for gigs.

I remember a guitar player friend (a fellow rock star wannabe like me) going on a ski trip and I thought he was crazy to spend a few hundred bucks on a trip that he could have spent on another guitar. To the _"Maintain balance in life"_ proponents (like my wife), my friend was right. And I won't argue with that, because in many ways, all work and no play did make Mike a dull boy. But ... all that gear I bought, and that intense drive to practice and learn and meet whoever I could did lead to career in this business and opened the door for all those opportunities for me to stumble into.

Then again, there was a whole lot of luck involved, and times were very different then, where doing things like buying a Fostex 16-track deck could give me a huge leg up on everybody else. So ... I don't recommend my path either. So I guess my post is (once again) just rambling self indulgence. But I already typed it, so there you go.


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## Daniel (Sep 2, 2020)

JohnG said:


> ............................
> 
> Old saying: "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."


This is the answer.

I want to be a music producer and write music to make people and myself happy. 
I think every job needs sacrifice. Money is a bonus.


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## jononotbono (Sep 2, 2020)

I dream of working on AAA films and TV Shows. One day hoping to be good enough to be a bona fida film and tv composer and until that day, being an assistant learning how to be a film composer. From making coffees to steering the ship so to speak.

My current studio job is working me to the bone and I’ve had about 12 days off in 13 months. I’m working about 105 - 120 hours per week. Every week. It isn’t a studio specialising in film, TV and Videogame music. It specialises in mixing and mastering so I know I can’t stay there if I want to follow my dreams of working on AAA film titles.

I’ve decided I want to move LA when I have enough money saved but also when this Covid thing has calmed down because I can’t see any other way of achieving this. I don’t have any kids. I’m now living in America. I’m prepared to work harder than anyone. And I’ve also just got a Green Card and Social Security Number so if anyone needs an assistant and thinks I’d be a good fit with them, then I’d love to hear from them. And being English, needless to say, I can make the finest cup of Tea going. 😂

Anyway, we only live once so we have to go for what we want. At all costs.


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## YaniDee (Sep 2, 2020)

With the word "cinematic" being used for every other product , one would think that every other guy and his cousin is working in film music..I think we all know better. 
Although most of my music career has involved performing, teaching, etc., I enjoy composing music, and have made money, on occasion, doing that.
Ideally I think my music is suitable for library music, and backing visuals (I play a lot of it to various Youtube videos with the sound off), but I hardly do anything to "get it out there".
What gives me the greatest satisfaction is to write something I can listen to a month, or a year later and think "hey, that's good!" . Of course, there's no money in that..


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## dcoscina (Sep 2, 2020)

I’d like to write more concert works and have them performed by a reasonably able orchestra. Working on the occasional game score or friend’s film effort is fine too. I’ve lost a lot of my lofty goals over the past decade. 

Not interested in scoring films anymore. The industry has changed and I don’t have the interest in writing music that must cater to so many decision makers. Not that I ever did- even a single director can be a royal pain if they don’t know what they want...

I’d like to keep working towards establishing my own compositional stamp whatever and whenever that might be.


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## Nick Batzdorf (Sep 2, 2020)

Mike Greene said:


> Rather than having specific goals, my career has been more of a _"Let's see what happens"_ thing.



I think that's what most people's careers are going to be in this world of constant change. Being flexible is probably the best skill anyone can have.

But I certainly have career goals even now.


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## JohnG (Sep 2, 2020)

I 100% agree that flexibility is important, not just so you don't inadvertently cast aside "that gig that could have gone somewhere" but also because, half the time, we don't really want what we think we want.

How many times to you get something you work for and find it disappointing, or at least not nearly as gratifying as you had expected? 

It's a feeling that's not confined to the sphere of music.

That's why I do think it's important to ask yourself if you REALLY want what you think and look at the lives of people who seem to have what you think you want and ask if that's the life you really want.


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## Mike Fox (Sep 2, 2020)




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## Matt Damon (Sep 2, 2020)

The only goal I've ever really had with music was to simply compose great music that people would like and will remember in a positive light when I'm dead. I always wanted to write music that was just as good or maybe if possible even better than my heroes. 

I believe that this is what all great musicians, sculptures, painters, etc. of the past ultimately aimed for and it leads me to my point: It's actually not really about what "You" want; it has to be about something greater than yourself.

I do not believe that one will ever truly reach their potential if they don't have something greater than themselves to aspire to with their work. Basically all great artists of yore sought to create things that rivaled the beauty of nature, or had religious motivations. Something that was worthy of the god(s), or building a structure that was able to rival the beauty of nature's own creation.

It has been shown time and again, for example, that people who get into exercise and weight lifting just because they want to gawk at themselves in the mirror or be the center of attention will always fail. That's why you see so many of these actors — not me tho — getting fat af after they're done filming their movies. It's why Taylor Lautner got fat and I didn't. 

But that's beside the point.

The point is, have you ever considered that maybe it's not all about you? A friend of mine often says that "the best calling card you can have is great work" and I think that if one just focuses on becoming the greatest composer they can — and I believe you need a higher purpose of some kind to really do that — being personable, making friends, etc. Then something good will eventually happen for you

I just don't think we really get to choose exactly what that something will be.


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## clisma (Sep 2, 2020)

I’ll tell you what I want. What I really, really want... crap, now it’s stuck in my head.


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## rgames (Sep 2, 2020)

I just want to get the voices out of my head! For me there's no plan. It's just an impulse, like the drive for food. And if someone can make use of the results of that impulse, great. But if not, I'm still going to do it.

When you hear human voices in your head they call you a schizophrenic. When you hear musical voices in your head they call you a composer.

rgames


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## Rory (Sep 2, 2020)

This obsession with how many hours per week that one spends working is unique to English-speaking cultures. It's quite bizarre, and ignores the fact that some people are just good at being fast, others aren't, and that people who are good get faster with experience. This is an issue about raw talent, learned skill and learned ability to deal with stress.

In my life, I have had only one objective: have fun. That attitude has taken me to jobs in New York, Toronto, London and Paris.

Where does that attitude come from? Mostly from my parents and the experience, when I was in my early 20s, of suddenly having to live for three months on social assistance.


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## BlackDorito (Sep 2, 2020)

You're basically talking about identifying life goals. Steven Covey ("7 Habits") suggests writing your own obituary. I did one years ago that was comically overblown .. it still provides humor today. At the time I was thinking that you have to aim high to attain a lot - or conversely if you set your goals low, that's what you'll get. Now I realize you need to set goals that are realistic .. or perhaps just a little bit unrealistic. As orchestral composers, both Stravinsky and Copland got huge breaks when young (as did Bernstein for conducting) .. but they were the right person at the right time. Can't count on 'prepared serendipity' however. Set a stretch goal, but don't make it outrageous. All the same, as recounted in some of the stories above, life is what happens as you are striving for your goals.


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## marclawsonmusic (Sep 2, 2020)

Great post, John.

I am just trying to get to a place where I can write the music that's in my head. That happens to be orchestral music, which I have learned is damned complicated! Once I get to that point, and have some good demo tracks, I'll see where that gets me.

I used to think I wanted to write music for film - that's what originally inspired me... but the industry has changed so I'm not sure my ideas will be welcome there anymore. I'd still like to get my music recorded by an orchestra (how lucky are we today to have these options!). And I think it would be amazing to get some music into a theme park - I live in Florida and there is some amazing (orchestral) music at the theme parks... I guess we can all dream, can't we?

Cheers


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## marclawsonmusic (Sep 2, 2020)

rgames said:


> I just want to get the voices out of my head!



Yes, this!


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## CT (Sep 2, 2020)

For me, it's always been about "paying it forward." My own life has been enriched more than I could ever quantify by what other composers have done. I'd like to at least try to do that for people, to carry that on. 

Sure, it'd be great if that were in the context of a massive game or movie or TV show that everyone knows and loves (concert music doesn't quite have the reach it used to compared to these other mediums, but that would be nice too), but that's not the actual goal so much as the most ideal fulfillment of it. For now, at least my girlfriend likes what I do, or so she claims....


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## Polkasound (Sep 2, 2020)

30 years ago, I was a young polka musician with the typical, young musician's aspirations of recording hits and gaining recognition. Within ten years, I'd traveled around the country, got to know most of the top people in the business, was winning awards, and my music was fully propagated on radio. It was around that time that I realized my happiness was not coming from achieving those aspirations, but from the warmth and affection I discovered in the people who follow, create, and promote polka music. I no longer needed or wanted awards. I was being rewarded every day just creating music and knowing it was being enjoyed.

Most of the music I create now is outside the polka genre, but my goal is the same... to occasionally hear the words, "I like that song." I want to create music that makes people feel something. I want to stir their emotions. That's all I want.

Well, there is one more thing — I also want to collect the $1,870.00 @Matt Damon owes me for all the chocolates he had me mail out to Taylor Lautner in 2015.


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## Henrik B. Jensen (Sep 2, 2020)

jononotbono said:


> My current studio job is working me to the bone and I’ve had about 12 days off in 13 months. I’m working about 105 - 120 hours per week. Every week.
> (...)
> Anyway, we only live once so we have to go for what we want. At all costs.


Watch your health mate. This lifestyle you describe can result in permanent injury (stress etc.)


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## dgburns (Sep 2, 2020)

I just want to work on film and tv. 
I have no interest in producing songs/ artists ( it feels pointless actually )
I have zero interest in doing Library music. 

Mostly, I want to work with nice people. Nice means they ‘get it’, they have their shit together, they offer fair terms, and are producing interesting productions. 

Mostly, I’ve come to understand that the music I do is a service. The satisfying aspect of broadcast work is that you know people will see it/ hear it, even if they don’t acknowledge the music, as it’s in a supporting role. I’m good with that.

( but one day I will make that vanity album )


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## Henu (Sep 2, 2020)

To work at Blizzard.


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## Harzmusic (Sep 3, 2020)

The answer to the question "what do you want?" has changed for me many times now. It always was in the realm of music, but the more I learned and the more opportunities opened up, the more my main goal changed. Part of it was learning how things really work in this industry, part of it was learning about myself and discovering new things I enjoyed doing.

I feel like there are short-term goals and dreams. 
Short-Term goals are there to be achieved, they are quantifiable. And they are also in reach. I know what I need to do in order to achieve them and I know how to do it. 
I want to win this pitch, so I need to put the work in. I want to play this piece so I need to practise. I want to get this piece right, so I need to learn how to orchestrate properly. I want to work like this, so I need to build this tool.

Goals that are so far away that you will live a significant portion of your life before achieving them are dreams. They are bound to change over time.
Dreams are less of an actual destination and more of a driving force. Looking back, I always had a final goal I was working towards. It always changed, but I never stopped working towards whatever it was at the moment. And each time it lead me to new opportunities, bigger challenges and finally another transformation of my original dream.
I used to feel like I was giving up part of my identity when I realized that I didn't share the dream of my younger self anymore. Like I wasted time working towards one thing just to change direction and work towards another thing.

It helped to look back seeing how far I had come already due to the fact that there was always _some kind _of driving force. If there hadn't been some kind of dream pulling at me I never would have gotten anywhere.

I am still pretty young and this may sound lame, but I start to feel like that's more what it is about. The dream is not there to be fully achieved but to pull me in a direction that makes my life worthwhile. I will treat my current dream as seriously as I treated every other dream I had and allow it to drive me. The objective will change again and again and I may never reach any of the finish lines. But that's okay as long as it keeps me moving.

I will find meaning and meaningful achievements along the way.


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## LudovicVDP (Sep 3, 2020)

Great post.

My wife and I have two young kids and a day job that pays well enough to be able to feed them, pay the bills and have extras, go on holidays etc... 
I'm not complaining, at all. 
But I also know that this comfy situation would make it difficult to have some career aspirations in music (The lack of formal training adds to that). No moving anywhere. No cutting the steady revenues. No 12h a day in the studio.

Every moment at work I'm not 105% busy, my head flies to the studio. But when I'm back, after taking care of the kids until they are in bed and when I'm not spending time with my wife, what I have left are a few evenings/nights that limit me in everything I'd like to do. (composing till 3AM and waking up at 6:45AM is not something I can do every day)

So my goal is: being able to compose for some libraries and have to opportunity to have my music on screen one day. I like music when it supports something. I would be over the moon to hear my music somewhere. Animal documentary... toothpaste commercials... whatever. (one has my preference though, should you ask) 
I know it's a game of quantity as much as quality. That's the difficult part with my schedule.


I have bigger dreams but I'm realist enough to not take them as a goal.


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## bosone (Sep 3, 2020)

I just want some more time to spend on my music and my instruments, even if that's just an hobby.
oh, and i also want to waste less time on facebook and internet surfing random useless stuff! :D


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## TomislavEP (Sep 3, 2020)

Personally, I just want to enjoy the simple joys of music and creativity and be able to earn just enough in the process for a decent life without many luxuries. For me, freedom was always more important than career and rising through ranks, but I still hope that I would someday get some formal recognition for a passion and dedication lasting several decades now. I would also like to leave my small mark in film music in the future, though the life of a modern media composer less and less seems to be what I'm really after. From many comments I've read here, its too stressful, hectic, and in many ways similar to typical corporate day jobs which I strive to avoid from the very moment I've finished my formal education. This is one of the several reasons why I rather chose financial and other insecurities that making ends meet through music sometimes bring.


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## jononotbono (Sep 3, 2020)

hbjdk said:


> Watch your health mate. This lifestyle you describe can result in permanent injury (stress etc.)



Yeah man. I hear ya! About to start running again actually which will be good. It’s just finding time to do this stuff which is the problem.

I’m actually now wondering how many hours (roughly) a day an assistant at Remote Control Productions works. 24 probably 😂


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## JohnG (Sep 3, 2020)

Probably, @jononotbono 

IDK what other guys do but have to admit, staying healthy is tough.


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## Greg (Sep 3, 2020)

I like boiling it down to something really simple. I want to inspire someone with my music the way other music inspired me. Passing the flame of art / creativity is super important to me since it single handedly dragged me out of a really dark place and helped me create a happy life.


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## Pier (Sep 3, 2020)

Matt Damon said:


> I just don't think we really get to choose exactly what that something will be.



That's a really profound point. So many things we don't get to choose, not even what we desire.

I feel that there are only two things we have total control over in life:

1) When to give up (or not)

2) When to follow opportunities


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## rgames (Sep 3, 2020)

Apropos of the topic but maybe a different take: for me the move away from music as a full-time profession occurred in high school. It came from a profound realization, probably received from someone I've since forgotten: I was *considering* music as a career. And anyone *considering* music as a career should *not* choose music as a career.

Music chooses you, and if you're chosen, you don't doubt it.

So setting goals in music shouldn't include whether or not to make a career of music. That shouldn't be up for debate. The focus on goals should be more along the lines of figuring out what part of the music business you're going to be in.

rgames


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## angeruroth (Sep 3, 2020)

Creatively speaking, my deepest desire is to make people cry or feel wonder with my music (and like most composers I would love to see people reacting that way while watching something supported by my music), but that's not the question, is it?
What I really want is a lot less convoluted: I just want to give my kid the chance to be the best version of herself and help her become a good human being. That's it, and that simple thing implies a lot.
Anyway, I've been a software engineer/BI guy for almost 20 years, and I just make music 'cause I can't live otherwise so, given that I have no idea how to follow opportunities, if I knew how I should give up. Sometimes I even think I have, but the sad truth is that I just don't know how.


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## Nick Batzdorf (Sep 3, 2020)

JohnG said:


> Probably, @jononotbono
> 
> IDK what other guys do but have to admit, staying healthy is tough.



Fitness trainer over Zoom. She's really good.

Actually, if anyone's interested in joining her classes, PM me.


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## Arbee (Sep 3, 2020)

Great topic. I had a crazy 14 years in the music industry working stupid hours at times. Now I'm older and have experienced 20+ years of a more "normal" life in a different career, my musical goal is now really simple. To keep improving at my craft (i.e. compose better, arrange better, perform better, program better, mix better, market better etc etc) until I achieve a level of mastery that reaches enough people emotionally to build a modest following, which then affords some investment to take it to the next level. Then rinse and repeat until I die....


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## classified_the_x (Sep 3, 2020)

JohnG said:


> I think a lot of composers and artists possess at most a vague idea of what they really want.
> 
> 
> "I want to write poems like Robert Frost."
> ...



the world partially ended IMO...

it's important to have a concept in everything we do. Specially art.

At the moment I'm just making music when I have the focus and keeping them for the right opportunities. Your advice of making connections is very helpful. Maybe I need to move out of my country, who knows...


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## telecode101 (Sep 3, 2020)

..


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## clisma (Sep 3, 2020)

JohnG said:


> Probably, @jononotbono
> 
> IDK what other guys do but have to admit, staying healthy is tough.


Having a highly active dog gets me out of the studio at least twice a day for long walks. Which actually helps tremendously with music and sorting of all sorts of issues. Something about walks kicks the brain into creative mode. The dog also makes a great running and hiking companion, so I get plenty of exercise!

I’m pooped. Going to sleep now.


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## GtrString (Sep 4, 2020)

Doing library music is like an 9-5 office job, editing and programming on the computer, doing downloads, updates and upgrades, surfing the web for new software to put into the daily routines.

I just wanna play my guitars!


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## Henning (Sep 4, 2020)

This is a really a great thread you started there, John. It's already showing that there's not only the one (straight) way to a musical career. Before my brother Ingo started out to make music for games I had never really thought of making a living with music though I had been making music since the early days of my childhood. My brother was very good at making friends and connections and we soon got some really cool gigs with big game developers. He was one of the first bunch of composers that posted here on V.I. when this forum started out. When he passed away in 2007 my world practically collapsed all around me. I wanted to be true to his vision and with the help of game dev friends and musical colleagues kept going on making music for games. Today I have about 20 years in the game music industry behind me. Had lots of very cool and exciting projects, met wonderful, talented people and got to work with some of my favourite artists. I will have seen half a century go by in Autumn this year. What I found for me is that you can do as much planning and working on your future and still Life will surprise the heck out of you. And that often good things develop out of the blackest moments in your life.


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## Gerbil (Sep 4, 2020)

I want to live in a remote cottage on the Shetlands away from humans and just play the piano, compose my own music, ramble around with a sheepdog and read lots. Never going to happen.


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## Pier (Sep 4, 2020)

GtrString said:


> Doing library music is like an 9-5 office job, editing and programming on the computer, doing downloads, updates and upgrades, surfing the web for new software to put into the daily routines.
> 
> I just wanna play my guitars!



Are there a lot of people around here making library music?

I've considered doing it to maybe get some money on the side but most importantly to build a portfolio.

Not sure if a list of tracks without any video could get me any media projects though...


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## Pier (Sep 4, 2020)

Gerbil said:


> I want to live in a remote cottage on the Shetlands away from humans and just play the piano, compose my own music, ramble around with a sheepdog and read lots. Never going to happen.



If you can make a living via the internet we're closer to that than you might think.

Elon Musk's Starlink is bringing +100Mbps internet to pretty much anywhere in the world.


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## GNP (Sep 4, 2020)

dgburns said:


> I just want to work on film and tv.
> I have no interest in producing songs/ artists ( it feels pointless actually )
> I have zero interest in doing Library music.
> 
> ...



Same here man, same here. Hear hear.


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## GtrString (Sep 4, 2020)

Pier said:


> Are there a lot of people around here making library music?
> 
> I've considered doing it to maybe get some money on the side but most importantly to build a portfolio.
> 
> Not sure if a list of tracks without any video could get me any media projects though...



I dunno, its dead at the moment when production lines are down. You probably can't make a cent tbh. If you want to show some skills and build a portfolio, you might not want to do simple tracks like that. Projects with artistic merit might be better for that. Libraries still want composers that can bring a name to their production, so they look cool.


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## dzilizzi (Sep 4, 2020)

JohnG said:


> How many times to you get something you work for and find it disappointing, or at least not nearly as gratifying as you had expected?
> 
> It's a feeling that's not confined to the sphere of music.


This! This is why I never really tried to get a career in music. The first 2 or 3 careers I thought I really wanted to do didn't turn out to be anything like what I thought they would be. I got to the point I hated going to work in the morning. I hated doing what I was doing even in my downtime. I was afraid if I made my last favorite thing to do (music) into a career, I would be in trouble if it didn't work out. We all need something to do in our downtime that makes us happy. 

I ended up in my current career after taking some of those career tests and going back to school to study to get a degree. Music wasn't one of the ones that came up as a potential career for me. I've been pretty happy with what I'm doing now. And I have music for fun still. 

This is the thing. Anything you do for a job will have parts you love, parts you like and parts you dislike or even hate. If the parts you love/like about your job aren't greater than the parts you hate, you will never be happy doing it. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to actually do the job for a while to find out these things.


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## Ashermusic (Sep 4, 2020)

Back when I used to get hired for scores or video special material more:

When I get hired, I am excited and I can't wait to begin. When I am working on it, I can't wait to be finished. When I am done with it, I am depressed until another one comes in.


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## PaulieDC (Sep 4, 2020)

Mine's a little different. I've loved music and have played the guitar and piano since barely out of diapers but then got away from all that for YEARS. What I wanted so desperately just 15-20 years ago was to be an great photographer, to be able to shoot landscape photos that would truly be huge, bold and beautiful, but had no idea how. I found a pro photographers site just like this with the best of the best, you had to pay to join. Studied and practiced insanely. Cut to the chase, by 2013 I hit top spot in an Arizona Highways contest, featured in Popular Photo magazine, had an image used by Apple in their advertising, photos used in books, blah blah blah. In 2016 I heard an orchestral theme at an attraction theme park that totally mesmerized me, found out who the guy was and contacted him through his website. He actually and kindly spent time on the phone bringing me up to speed on what I've missed in MIDI composing over the last 30 years (when I owned a Proteus MPS+ with 8mb of samples, not a typo, and dabbled with MasterTracksPro on a Mac SE/30 in '92). Now it's 2016 and I was HOOKED and here I am, starting over. HOWEVER, at that time 4 years ago, *major* burnout was setting in with photography and now I'm done with that, and I mean DONE. I have 10 grand in high end gear sitting in the closet and zero desire to ever pull it out (like we need another Grand Canyon or Milky Way image, please). What I truly want:

Is to never get burned out on the beauty of being able to create orchestral and other works literally at our desks with all we have available. That if I get somewhere that it will always be a new and better adventure, whatever it is. Not talking income, I have that from developing software, I want to never lose the burn to even write a 10-second solo oboe melody that someone hears and thinks is so beautiful they want a copy. That I NEVER hit the burn-out I hit in photography. That's truly what is on my permanent wish list.

That does leave one unresolved issue: how do I happily keep the obsession with all of this and not drain my savings buying libraries...


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## TinderC (Sep 4, 2020)

PaulieDC said:


> Is to never get burned out on the beauty of being able to create orchestral and other works literally at our desks with all we have available. That if I get somewhere that it will always be a new and better adventure, whatever it is. Not talking income, I have that from developing software, I want to never lose the burn to even write a 10-second solo oboe melody that someone hears and thinks is so beautiful they want a copy.


Exactly. Totally understand this.


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## ScarletJerry (Sep 4, 2020)

This is a great topic, and it makes me think about this song:

What we really really want


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## jmauz (Sep 4, 2020)

I just want blowjobs and beers.


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## dgburns (Sep 4, 2020)

Ashermusic said:


> Back when I used to get hired for scores or video special material more:
> 
> When I get hired, I am excited and I can't wait to begin. When I am working on it, I can't wait to be finished. When I am done with it, I am depressed until another one comes in.



This is actually quite profound, and not uncommon.

1- Before- initial anticipation (for all the possibilities, and what if’s)
2- During- reality settles in, and you realize it won’t be your Ben Hur (a deviant emotion is that they just won’t give you the time, and you realize it’s a fight just to hand something in that you can actually live with.)
3- After- Completion anxiety. ( the realization as a service provider that you feel worthless when not working )

I still have trouble with the cycle of emotions you go through. I will say, try to enjoy the time when you are working, even if it feels uphill at times. Those moments you just have to trust yourself and let it flow. Enjoy those moments, they fly past fast, and then it’s over and you think you’ll never work again. Yes you will, so try to enjoy the time off too.

And fwiw, it’s healthy to take time away to live life. We need time between gigs to grow and forget the muscle memory.


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## asherpope (Sep 4, 2020)

Pier said:


> Are there a lot of people around here making library music?
> 
> I've considered doing it to maybe get some money on the side but most importantly to build a portfolio.
> 
> Not sure if a list of tracks without any video could get me any media projects though...





GtrString said:


> I dunno, its dead at the moment when production lines are down. You probably can't make a cent tbh. If you want to show some skills and build a portfolio, you might not want to do simple tracks like that. Projects with artistic merit might be better for that. Libraries still want composers that can bring a name to their production, so they look cool.


Libraries generally just want tracks that will be synced and generate royalties. I don't have a bankable name at all and I make most of my income from library music.


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## GtrString (Sep 5, 2020)

asherpope said:


> Libraries generally just want tracks that will be synced and generate royalties. I don't have a bankable name at all and I make most of my income from library music.



Good for you, but thats not how the top tiers roll. They sell on artist brands.. here is an example https://www.extrememusic.com/

Everyone starts somewhere of course, but if you make top tier music without a brand, you are not making the revenue you should.

Just a thing to consider. Free suggestions on the internet fwiw.


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## Daryl (Sep 5, 2020)

Potential problems with library income are, at the moment, still unknown. We have seen a slight drop in income form some areas, and an increase from others. Big trailer companies have seen zero licences sold since March. It all depends on the sort of music you are making, and your distribution network.


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## Nate Johnson (Sep 6, 2020)

I want: to be _happy_ creating music.

I want: to never stop exploring what music and sound can do.

I want: to never let economic pressure determine my experience.


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## VMC (Sep 6, 2020)

Thanks OP, who started this thread. Pat yourself. Composers are doing an incredible job everywhere. I don’t know if God’s listening to this or not but he normally does. Although, I checked whoever contributed to this thread. I believe Composers should have recognition. I’ve seen composers doing there jobs just for credit & no fees. As a matter of fact, I did a short film for just a Pizza & a Coke. It was Dominos & I didn’t even get the large one. The Director said he just wanna order the $5.99 each offer, if you buy 2. Well, I spent almost 23 hours of my time. Well, that was worth? I don’t know it got my lunch. Anyway, I see people here are quite good. I am not actually a new member. I would have posted a lot but couldn’t get time but checking posts. People here are doing really good. I also figured out people are quite busy here. I posted a track a long time back but nobody checked it. I didn’t want it to be reviewed, instead I wanted an opinion about the quality of the samples that was it. But this is becoming another issue I guess, for anyone who’s looking for a review or at least checking right? I don’t know but may be I’ve heard this & in fact my track was not checked too and it’s quite common, mostly I think because there are particular days, to post original music & it’s not because people are busy, right? If people are much self centered, they wouldn’t share their good opinions like in this thread or any, as of that matter, in the forum. May be there’s something in way for composers? Who knows?

VMC


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