# Vi-control's Collaborative Learning Project 11



## Darthmorphling (Oct 23, 2015)

We have returned!

For this project we will write a piece of music as if we were scoring a flying scene in a movie. Think of it as a scene where the character is first experiencing the ability of flight.

Part 1:

We will create a melody and some variations. it should be enough to make an interesting piece. Of course this is just a rough idea that can be changed.

Part 2: the piece will be arranged in a way that shows the basic structure of the entire piece. It should include at least one section that has some basic unison/octave harmony, and one that has some more complex contrapuntal harmonization.

Part 3:

Create a final mock up of the piece that has varying degrees of dynamics and fleshed out orchestration.

The entire project should be done in 4 weeks. We'll call it finished November 22. Please offer critiques for each stage of the project. At the end it would beneficial to share the midi files for your work along with description of what you were trying to accomplish with your ideas for the piece.


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## cheul (Oct 25, 2015)

Is this the thread where we post and comment each other's efforts ?


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## kclements (Oct 25, 2015)

This sounds great. I'm a bit unclear about the first part. Do we write our own theme, or will you be providing one to orchestrate?

I'm in. This sounds like fun.


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## Darthmorphling (Oct 25, 2015)

cheul said:


> Is this the thread where we post and comment each other's efforts ?



Yes. All submissions and critiques will be posted here.



kclements said:


> This sounds great. I'm a bit unclear about the first part. Do we write our own theme, or will you be providing one to orchestrate?
> 
> I'm in. This sounds like fun.



We come up with our own theme and variations.


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## cheul (Oct 25, 2015)

Ok here's my first try. As short as it is, it took me ages to write and I think I may have to double the tempo and double notes duration. It sounds like only half of a theme. I fear it may be never ending.


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## Darthmorphling (Oct 26, 2015)

@cheul

Very nice melody! It would help to understand what you were envisioning when you wrote it. For instance, what kind of flight were you thinking of? I almost feel like I've heard parts of it before.


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## cheul (Oct 26, 2015)

I'm currently in a state of excitement and anticipation for the new Star Wars music material we will soon get to hear. So basically what I'm picturing as a flight scene is the E.T. bike ride in Star Wars musical idiom. So there had to be a few leaps at the start, some going up and down, but mostly upward melody. I think what works well is the rise to the B natural in mes. 4. Unfortunately I fear that the following A natural sticks out as a sore thumb. The pb is I love when composers turn around a melody with chromaticism and I may overuse it. What do you think ?


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## kclements (Oct 27, 2015)

Ok, so here is my first attempt. I have been listening to The Martian ST quite a bit lately. So this is inspired by a cue on the album titled Crossing Mars. I hope i am not too close to that cue, I think I am ok, but if you know the cue and think it is too much of a rip-off, please share that with me.

Anyway, my initial thought was more busy. But I seem to always want to fill the page with notes. So part of my self-imposed restrictions on this exercise is to limit myself to longer notes - keep it simple. Let orchestration move the cue and not the notes. Keeping it simple.

My concept is someone whom after many attempts finally make some progress. It isn't a grand, huge flight scene, but more of a proof of concept. She is able to lift off the ground a bit and do a controlled "flight" but there is still much work to do before reaching the skies.

Cheers
kc


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## kclements (Oct 27, 2015)

cheul said:


> I'm currently in a state of excitement and anticipation for the new Star Wars music material we will soon get to hear. So basically what I'm picturing as a flight scene is the E.T. bike ride in Star Wars musical idiom. So there had to be a few leaps at the start, some going up and down, but mostly upward melody. I think what works well is the rise to the B natural in mes. 4. Unfortunately I fear that the following A natural sticks out as a sore thumb. The pb is I love when composers turn around a melody with chromaticism and I may overuse it. What do you think ?



It definitely has a Star Wars Vibe to it. I like where you go leading into ms 4. I agree that the A natural seems out of place. But maybe that's the Star Wars talking. It might work once you have some more filled in. I would stick with it for a bit and see where it goes.


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## Darthmorphling (Oct 27, 2015)

cheul said:


> I'm currently in a state of excitement and anticipation for the new Star Wars music material we will soon get to hear. So basically what I'm picturing as a flight scene is the E.T. bike ride in Star Wars musical idiom. So there had to be a few leaps at the start, some going up and down, but mostly upward melody. I think what works well is the rise to the B natural in mes. 4. Unfortunately I fear that the following A natural sticks out as a sore thumb. The pb is I love when composers turn around a melody with chromaticism and I may overuse it. What do you think ?



There is a nod to John Williams in a couple of places. I hear something similar to the ending of Empire and a bit of the Anakin Padme Love Theme. Not entire lines, but sort of the feel. Not sure yet about the A natural yet as orchestration may blend it better like Kclements pointed out.


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## Darthmorphling (Oct 27, 2015)

kclements said:


> Ok, so here is my first attempt. I have been listening to The Martian ST quite a bit lately. So this is inspired by a cue on the album titled Crossing Mars. I hope i am not too close to that cue, I think I am ok, but if you know the cue and think it is too much of a rip-off, please share that with me.
> 
> Anyway, my initial thought was more busy. But I seem to always want to fill the page with notes. So part of my self-imposed restrictions on this exercise is to limit myself to longer notes - keep it simple. Let orchestration move the cue and not the notes. Keeping it simple.
> 
> ...




I look forward to seeing how this gets orchestrated. The last half seems like a bit to many whole notes. If you are envisioning more flowing lines underneath the melody, then it could work.

It was my anniversay this weekend so I haven't had time to compose mine yet, but will definitely do so by the weekend.


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## cheul (Oct 27, 2015)

Thanks for the encouragement guys. That's exactly why it took long for me to develop these few measures : I had to fight being plagiaristic, by nodding without quoting.

@kclements I like that you opted for that concept, as it seems to me the more modern approach, driving things through texture and development in the arrangement.

So here is my new version, I found a very simple turnaround to soften the introduction of the A natural. Tell me if it fixed it to your ears. Then I modified the rhythm where things get a bit busier and flow more smoothly to reach the climax. Then I think I'll be heading to some noodling downwards , variations and development (the part where I usually stall).


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## Infiniquity (Oct 28, 2015)

Hi,

Hope you won't mind if I join you for this learning journey.
So here is my Part 1. 

I have created 3 different ideas:
First part: "Au bord de la Falaise", puts the character on the cliff edge.
Second part: In "Du Vent sous les Ailes"), character is deploying its wings and starts feeling the strength of the wind. The last accent will be the "big moment" where Character takes off.
Last Part: "L'envol" illustrates the first instants of the flight.

I followed the idea that at first the character is wondering whether he can really fly. 
Then, the piece depicts both the flight itself with this background harmony as well as the character flying smoothly with the slow melody. I might add some 16th notes to suggest quick turns here and there.


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## Darthmorphling (Oct 28, 2015)

Infiniquity said:


> Hi,
> 
> Hope you won't mind if I join you for this learning journey.
> So here is my Part 1.
> ...




Not sure I can offer anything to help you make this better. I am really looking forward to hearing the finished piece. I know I haven't been any help, but it really is good!


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## Darthmorphling (Oct 28, 2015)

@chuel

I think the changes you made were a good decision. That note did kind of stick out in the original.


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## kclements (Oct 29, 2015)

I agree with Darth. I think the second version is better. 

As for mine, we'll see about all those whole notes. I haven't hd a chance to revisit it yet, but I was curious if those would prove to be a problem. Again, I want to force myself to really examine it and make choices not based on a quick fix. So for now, they are staying. Thanks for the comments.


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## dimtsak (Oct 29, 2015)

I ll make a try on this.
Here is my very simple theme


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## kclements (Oct 29, 2015)

Nice. I'm interested to hear the orchestration. I am hearing this is 2 as opposed to 4, so I am curious what kind of motion you are hearing. 

kc


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## dimtsak (Oct 29, 2015)

I have a motion in my mind, but i am not sure if it's 2 or 4.
I am still not that good with timing.


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## kclements (Oct 29, 2015)

dimtsak said:


> I have a motion in my mind, but i am not sure if it's 2 or 4.
> I am still not that good with timing.



The only way to get better, is to keep working on it. So congrats for not being afraid to post and learn! We all have things to work on. 

Cheers
kc


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## cheul (Oct 29, 2015)

@dimtsak I think your melody is very effective. I love the 1st half, with the sense of contraction around what sounds to me like proceeding by half steps. It's also a good idea that it evolves to wider intervals with regards to the theme of flying. The only issue I find with that second part is that it sounds to me as an augmentation of a Back To The Future motif. I was expecting each subsequent note.


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## Darthmorphling (Oct 29, 2015)

@dimstak I really like the melody. One of the things I am having trouble with is making the theme sound to busy and as a result it doesn't evoke the sense of flying. Yours doesn't seem to have that problem. Looking forward to the next steps.


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## dimtsak (Oct 29, 2015)

Thank you both for the feedback.
Cheul, i also think that i have influenced from back to the future. Not on purpose. I hope it will have its own character in the end.

And I also hope that more people will join the project, because there is a nice spirit of cooperation and not competition in here.


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## Infiniquity (Oct 29, 2015)

kclements said:


> Ok, so here is my first attempt. I have been listening to The Martian ST quite a bit lately. So this is inspired by a cue on the album titled Crossing Mars. I hope i am not too close to that cue, I think I am ok, but if you know the cue and think it is too much of a rip-off, please share that with me.
> 
> Anyway, my initial thought was more busy. But I seem to always want to fill the page with notes. So part of my self-imposed restrictions on this exercise is to limit myself to longer notes - keep it simple. Let orchestration move the cue and not the notes. Keeping it simple.
> 
> ...




I had a listen to Martian ST - Crossing Mars. Obviously, your melody shares common genes but it stops there. I was able to picture this haha moment after "many attempts" by listening to the melody.


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## resound (Oct 31, 2015)

I thought I would join in on the fun and give this a try. I like the themes you guys have come up with and I am looking forward to hearing the final orchestrations. My melody is pretty simple and diatonic but I am hoping to spice it up with the orchestration and arrangement. Any feedback is appreciated!


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## cheul (Nov 1, 2015)

@resound it's true it's very diatonic but it has that classic hollywood vibe to it, so kudos to you if that's what you were going for.

So I spent time noodling around on the keys (which I can't really play) as I was inspired to make the intro, so I didn't have time to notate it. Treat it as a sort of musical sketchpad. I'm sure you gals and guys can already picture the woodwinds lol.


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## thov72 (Nov 2, 2015)

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## thov72 (Nov 2, 2015)

ooops sry yes, heres my entry. Tried to incorporate sth that gives a feel of a bird/...cspiraling higher and higher


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## Darthmorphling (Nov 3, 2015)

resound said:


> I thought I would join in on the fun and give this a try. I like the themes you guys have come up with and I am looking forward to hearing the final orchestrations. My melody is pretty simple and diatonic but I am hoping to spice it up with the orchestration and arrangement. Any feedback is appreciated!



Your melody has a very majestic sound to it. Kind of a cross between a military flight or a superhero. It could be simply because of the horns though. Looking forward to hearing it orchestrated.



cheul said:


> @resound it's true it's very diatonic but it has that classic hollywood vibe to it, so kudos to you if that's what you were going for.
> 
> So I spent time noodling around on the keys (which I can't really play) as I was inspired to make the intro, so I didn't have time to notate it. Treat it as a sort of musical sketchpad. I'm sure you gals and guys can already picture the woodwinds lol.



I think I can place where the woodwinds are supposed to go There is a lot going on there. What type of flying scene are you envisioning.



thov72 said:


> ooops sry yes, heres my entry. Tried to incorporate sth that gives a feel of a bird/...cspiraling higher and higher



You seem to have captured the spirit of a bird flying in a way that I am struggling with.

I have about 3 different ideas at the moment and I am not happy with any of them. Last night I was messing around on my guitar and improvised something that I think I am happy with. I will probably just upload it tonight as it's the best one of the bunch.


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## thov72 (Nov 3, 2015)

resound, very nice and majestic, reminds me in a very positive way a bit of Star Trek.
darth: Thank you for your kind words


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## resound (Nov 4, 2015)

Darthmorphling said:


> Your melody has a very majestic sound to it. Kind of a cross between a military flight or a superhero. It could be simply because of the horns though. Looking forward to hearing it orchestrated.



I was definitely going for a majestic, Hollywood vibe. The brass definitely adds the majestic quality, but of course I am going to save the horns for the right moment in the piece  Looking forward to hearing what you come up with.



thov72 said:


> resound, very nice and majestic, reminds me in a very positive way a bit of Star Trek.



Thank you, and I enjoyed your melody as well. It has a great soaring quality to it, and also a bit of fantasy.


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## Darthmorphling (Nov 5, 2015)

After loads of ideas that just sucked I think I finally came up with something that might work for me. It's not really a fully fledged melody, more like a motif, but I can already hear how it will play out in a piece. There are three variations. Underneath is a shimmering woodwind ostinato that is not in the notation. I will upload the audio file tonight when I get home.


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## pav (Nov 8, 2015)

Hi all, had a go myself, some kind of Avatar type story, where the main hero lost the ability to fly as was badly injured and this is the fist time he tries to go up again.


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## Darthmorphling (Nov 9, 2015)

Here is the audio file of my melody.


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## Darthmorphling (Nov 9, 2015)

pav said:


> Hi all, had a go myself, some kind of Avatar type story, where the main hero lost the ability to fly as was badly injured and this is the fist time he tries to go up again.





It's very minimalist. The melody is a bit low in the mix though. Very interested in what the finished piece will sound like.


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## thov72 (Nov 21, 2015)

Here´s my track, I´ll leave it where it is (for now) Im a bit tired, spent appr 10x 2hrs on the computer doing this during the last weeks, time I usually have for recreation - a normal teaching job and three kids aged 5 and younger and applying for a job in the USA is already quite enough. Still had a lot of fun and listened to the piece in my head at least a 1000 times . Feedback welcom, especially critique. "sounds nice"-comments are also welcome but don´t help me much.....
I tried to keep the "action" to the mid and high parts, maybe at some point there´s too much going on there...
Sorry for the bit shortened last part, but this is an Albion legacy only piece and I ran out of high brass notes 

enjoy
Thomas
<iframe width="100%" height="450" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src=""></iframe>


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## thov72 (Nov 22, 2015)

@Darth nice one, the ostinatum thing under the melody gives a great flying feel. Like a swarm of birds migrating south. The melody could be really good with a few variations and a B-part. Thank you for sharing.
Thomas


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## Darthmorphling (Nov 23, 2015)

thov72 said:


> @Darth nice one, the ostinatum thing under the melody gives a great flying feel. Like a swarm of birds migrating south. The melody could be really good with a few variations and a B-part. Thank you for sharing.
> Thomas



Thanks! I have already got a b part and am just working on harmonizing and orchestration. I'm a bit behind as there was a death in the family, and like you I'm a full time teacher with kids. Hopefully I can get it done during thanksgiving break. I just got my Cubase template set up so I am ready to go.

I am listening to your piece on my iPad right now and it sounds really good. I will wait for a critique once I get to my DAW.


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## Darthmorphling (Nov 24, 2015)

thov72 said:


> "




Great piece! I am listening right now, and I get a picture of someone just learning how to fly, when the brass line comes in it feels as if the character finally got a grasp of how to do it correctly!


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## resound (Nov 24, 2015)

Very nice thov72. I think you could make it more interesting by using more variation in the orchestration. The main thing that stuck out to me were the pizzicato basses which are playing the same rhythm pretty much throughout the whole piece. Maybe change up the rhythm a bit, and have them play arco when the trumpets come in. I feel like the last section really could use some low arco strings. But other than that, very nice! It definitely evokes the feeling of flying.

I haven't had a chance to start orchestrating my piece yet. I hope to have some time over the holiday.


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## Darthmorphling (Nov 24, 2015)

resound said:


> Very nice thov72. I think you could make it more interesting by using more variation in the orchestration. The main thing that stuck out to me were the pizzicato basses which are playing the same rhythm pretty much throughout the whole piece. Maybe change up the rhythm a bit, and have them play arco when the trumpets come in. I feel like the last section really could use some low arco strings. But other than that, very nice! It definitely evokes the feeling of flying.
> 
> I haven't had a chance to start orchestrating my piece yet. I hope to have some time over the holiday.



I just listened to it again and there is something with the bass notes. I do agree they could be changed up a bit, but I also think they might be a little to pronounced in the mix. I am also not hearing much in the middle register it seems.


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## tonaliszt (Nov 24, 2015)

Here is mine. Sorry I was late to the game (dealing with computer issues and a template build).

I choose to go with a short theme, with the hope that the arrangement would turn it into something larger. 

The theme:





Here is my finished track: https://clyp.it/qdz5oc02
Please comment on any and all aspects, particularly composition and mockup/mixing. I had a lot of doubts about the last chord. 

I will comment on other peoples work soon.


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## thov72 (Nov 25, 2015)

good job, n.h.!!!! The first 27s are so lovely, it´s a pity you abandoned this part so early it´s really beautiful, how about a repetition with variation? Same for the second part 27-51s ... the brass part at 1.12 is also very remarkable. Sort of aggressive and bold. Instrumentation changes are a bit quick all in all, and the individual parts need some transitions. What about the tempo?
The last chord: I would make it either a bit "even louder" with maybe? (not sure) a bit diffrent orchestration or repeat it even more often.---thats what I would do, though there are very different thoughts on this. On the other hand there are composers, espc. from the late 19th century, who repeated the last chord bout a dozen times, you think the´ll never finish 

Greetings
Thomas


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## David Chappell (Nov 27, 2015)

Here's my submission for this one.



I'll get back with feedbacks on everyone else's soon. They're sounding good so far!

In the meantime, I'm off for my black friday sample splurge. Happy days.


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## tonaliszt (Dec 2, 2015)

Great job everyone! I am looking forward to hearing everyone else's. 
Here are some individual comments:

thov74:

I like it a lot, but you said you didn't want "sounds good" comments. Here are some thoughts.
Good job! I really like the melody that you have. I like the use of modulation in the first minute, but because of the lack of underlying harmonies (other than the bass note) it seems like the melody is winding on for a while. This could be the effect you are going for, but it also makes it more difficult for the listener to take note of the melody. The first time I listened to it, it seemed like it was one long phrase, when really it should be thought of as the same melody repeating in different keys. 
The flute in the beginning sticks out a lot.
Really like the transition at 1: 30. 
The second theme at 1: 40, to me at least, doesn't contrast enough. Maybe different instrumentation?
At 2:25 the ostinato in the strings is really lovely.
Overall I feel like it could benefit from more harmonic support throughout the piece, and more varied instrumentation and orchestration. 


David Chappell:
Definitely feel like you've captured the vibe you are going for here. 
I really like the horn melody, but that is soooo high. Take it down an octave?
Is there anyway you can use the material from the opening later on in the piece? It seemed like it was just left behind. Maybe bring it back at the end for a little coda?
I think it would sound better if the flute at 25 seconds was not doubling the violins throughout and only came in at the end of measures. They have to breathe too!
At 41 seconds I feel like you could give this moment a lot more energy by doing a quick high woodwinds thing. 
Also, the harp at the end is too loud.
Really fabulous track though. I think your use of the low register instruments is really masterful.


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## thov72 (Dec 3, 2015)

Than you all for your comments -- very helpful.
I tried out a few things like an arco bass line at the end of the piece (they would play sth similar to the low reeds(reeds maybe a bit to soft to hear them) then, ---didn´t sound that good, so I left it as it was.

n.h. thank you for your very elaborative comment! I listened to my piece differently after reading that. I will not have the time to change too many things right now but come backt to the piece later and keep your comments in mind, also for future compositions.

David Chapell
Great track. The image that came to mind was that of a young bird on it´s first flight with a great flock.
Great interweaving of instruments/ melodies...counterpoint-thing (I´m not good at writing about this stuff,sry)
I personally would put the horns a bit farther back, I think they are being overused these days. But that´s really all I can say.

edit: mixing/mastering question: David, why is your track so much louder and clearer than mine? 
cheers
Thomas


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## Darthmorphling (Dec 7, 2015)

@David

As usual your tracks are quite good. The horn line seems to be too prominent in the middle part, burying some of the other instruments. The in the last section it seems to be fighting with other instruments coming in and out of focus. Not sure if it's just a level thing or if it's fighting for space among other instruments. I really dig the ideas you have. 

Everyone,

I haven't abandoned this. There is a lot going on right now, and basically the only time I get to work on this is during my lunch break and on weekends. I seem to be on way to many committees this year! I am actually studying some scores as well as my real weakness is orchestration. I will get this done.


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