How I started to worry less
- Thread starter Waywyn
- Start date
AlexanderSchiborr
Senior Member
Hi Alex,
I read your story and thank you for sharing it. Life isn´t always the sunny side unfortunately, but I hope you are doing better and all best to you both.
Alexander
zoilreb
The Fantastic Mr Zoilreb
Thanks for sharing !
In other words : stopping to try to control what is out of our control is one of the key to a happier life.
(Sorry for my bad English, I don't know how to turn this sentence)
Ashermusic
Senior Member
Thank you for sharing your experience, Alex. Very thoughtful and touching.
OP
OP
Waywyn
Senior Member
Thank you guys!
@AlexanderSchiborr Thank you and yes, life isn't always the sunny side. But when you become aware that the sun always shines even behind a cloudy sky, you start to see the negative things in life as experience.
@leon chevalier exactly! But also be aware of all the things you can change ... and do it! My favorite motto is: Life isn't about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself!
@Thank you Jay!
@AlexanderSchiborr Thank you and yes, life isn't always the sunny side. But when you become aware that the sun always shines even behind a cloudy sky, you start to see the negative things in life as experience.
@leon chevalier exactly! But also be aware of all the things you can change ... and do it! My favorite motto is: Life isn't about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself!
@Thank you Jay!
I'm very happy for you Alex, this is pretty much how I handle stuff these days, or at least try my very best to.
Stress is the absolute worst, and people are terrible at recognizing and handling it.
Learning how to deal with it should be part of every child's education.
Enjoy those years you just added to your life!
_T.j.
There is no happiness without sadness, they go hand in hand.
Accept that there will be tough times and that they, per definition, must lead to happier times (and vice versa).
It's certainly possible, it just means you have to work at it harder than 'normal' people
and be very, very aware of any signs of regression. Work at it everyday until it no longer feels fake, uncomfortable or awkward and instead it's your new default.
Stopping using your condition as an excuse, and instead seeing it as a challenge is one of the first, and most critical steps I took in finally getting better.
(coming from someone with multiple diagnosed disorders, and even was at some point admitted to a mental ward).
Stress is the absolute worst, and people are terrible at recognizing and handling it.
Learning how to deal with it should be part of every child's education.
Enjoy those years you just added to your life!
_T.j.
There is no happiness without sadness, they go hand in hand.
Accept that there will be tough times and that they, per definition, must lead to happier times (and vice versa).
It's certainly possible, it just means you have to work at it harder than 'normal' people
and be very, very aware of any signs of regression. Work at it everyday until it no longer feels fake, uncomfortable or awkward and instead it's your new default.
Stopping using your condition as an excuse, and instead seeing it as a challenge is one of the first, and most critical steps I took in finally getting better.
(coming from someone with multiple diagnosed disorders, and even was at some point admitted to a mental ward).
I said absolutely nothing about using any condition as an excuse. But telling someone that they shouldn't worry when they're bipolar or have an anxiety disorder or schizophrenia and worry is chemically built into the condition is like telling the lightning to stop striking things.
Fair point, I was way to general in my statement.
Bipolor disorder and schizophrenia I (luckily) do not have, I also don't know nearly enough about them and I'll wisely shut up. Anxiety disorder I've had most of my life, coupled with severe depression and other personality disorder(s) and while never cured are something I can now guarantee you can be dealt with, not cured.
Wishing you best of luck in dealing with all of them, and hope there will be a solution so you'll no longer have to to.
If you ever want to talk, about anything, feel free to P.m. me (extended to other composers/Vi-members)..
I don't presume to have the answers that will help you, but I believe that if there was a way for me to get back from the depths (read planning suicide) if there's anything I can do to help I'd gladly take some time to do it.
Obviously some things are beyond anyone's control, like I can't help Alex's daughter walk (no matter how much I'd like to).
Take care,
T.j.
A very kind post. I don't suffer from them personally but know family members and friends who do. My son, for instance, has Aspergers, and anxiety and cyclothemia are along for the ride. Medication helps but when it fails or things are particularly stressful, CBT techniques will only get him so far.
Fortunately, we live in age where science is helping us understand and hopefully deal with these things and maybe helping people to become more empathetic.
But I don't want to take anything away from Wawyn's post. It's a really good point he makes and it's worth striving for as far as we're able.
Fortunately, we live in age where science is helping us understand and hopefully deal with these things and maybe helping people to become more empathetic.
But I don't want to take anything away from Wawyn's post. It's a really good point he makes and it's worth striving for as far as we're able.
OP
OP
Waywyn
Senior Member
I totally get your point, but in my opinion I have two choices: Being the victim or taking away something positive and being aware that not everything is adaptable to every condition!
Imagine that article being shared of a composer who "wrote that song which touched everyone's heart!"
Def people be like: Nope! All I heard was John Cage 4'33 for the gazillionth time!
Now it is on them if they start feeling insulted by it (not saying you did, but just as a general, more extreme form) or being just happy with the composer?
I am currently working on a course which will include also stuff like fitness, standing desk solutions or exercises on how to take a mindful walk etc ... thousands of wheelchair users obviously can't adopt this!
Now, what would the world look like if everyone would include everyone's condition?
"With this course everyone can learn to drive safely, except people who are blind, paralysed, suffer from __________ (put in here 3478638764 possible disabilities
Again, it makes total sense what you say, but in the end I always have two choices: Fully accept my flaws, disabilities and adapt e.g. articles like the one I wrote and make the best out of it ... or not!
Jimmy Hellfire
Senior Member
Scientists and people in general like to give things names, put labels on them and sort them on their designated shelves. However this tends to mold the way people perceive things. In or society, the idea is that a disorder is an on/off switch that is flipped in one or the other direction, depending on how lucky you get. Which is wrong. What I'm trying to say is: it's not like, oh, my bipolar switch is set to "on", I'm doomed for eternity, there no point in even attempting to do anything in life.
People with mental illness of course need to worry less. Or smile more. And be more free. Like anyone else. The mental illness doesn't change anything about that. It's just way harder to do.
Or, to put it differently: just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean that they're not after you, right?
Totally agree to both points of view, for me its no contrast really as long as you are aware of both . I must say I find this little course really helpful but would like to add one very important personal experience to all this: it really matters WHEN in your personal way of life (and yes, evrybody IS unique, so there is one very unique way for everyone) you deal with such things.
To be honest: there is nothing really new from the point of knowledge in these course. My wife, who is very interested in these things and had done lots of seminars (dont know if you know Christian Bischoff for example) had told me evry insight of this a lot of times, but did I listen
....
And thats this point: you have to be ready to go on this yourney at that moment. For me right now I can open up to these points and they just fit with my personal situation (very stressfull situation on work which hits me absolutely unarmed, makes me ill now for three weeks and shows me how far I am still from this inner peace or whatever you might call it...), therefore I am very thankful for you course Alex. And your example to deal with the problems in your life really could encourage people (like me) to deal with their problems and see them in a bigger context.
I dont think there REALLY have been general new insights in case of awareness after chinese description of the general "function" of the universe, energy, jing and jang. Only other points of view to this general system. And I realize that I needed (and will need while travelling on) lots of points of views in life to not only understand it by brain but by heart which is the one requirement you really need to getting aware of life.
Closing with another personal experience: while I am ill now for two weeks I have totally given up on my Tai-Chi exercises which I normally do evry day (and if it is for 5 minutes or one movement only).Was it because I REALLY couldn`t ? Nope, nothing really prevents me from doing some meditation for example. Only thing preventing me was IN MY HEAD. Should I condemn myself for this ? Bullshit, I realized it, starting with a little exercise yesterday, felt better and hope I will go on with this.
Thanks again Alex
. I must say I find this little course really helpful but would like to add one very important personal experience to all this: it really matters WHEN in your personal way of life (and yes, evrybody IS unique, so there is one very unique way for everyone) you deal with such things.To be honest: there is nothing really new from the point of knowledge in these course. My wife, who is very interested in these things and had done lots of seminars (dont know if you know Christian Bischoff for example) had told me evry insight of this a lot of times, but did I listen
....And thats this point: you have to be ready to go on this yourney at that moment. For me right now I can open up to these points and they just fit with my personal situation (very stressfull situation on work which hits me absolutely unarmed, makes me ill now for three weeks and shows me how far I am still from this inner peace or whatever you might call it...), therefore I am very thankful for you course Alex
. And your example to deal with the problems in your life really could encourage people (like me) to deal with their problems and see them in a bigger context.I dont think there REALLY have been general new insights in case of awareness after chinese description of the general "function" of the universe, energy, jing and jang. Only other points of view to this general system. And I realize that I needed (and will need while travelling on) lots of points of views in life to not only understand it by brain but by heart which is the one requirement you really need to getting aware of life.
Closing with another personal experience: while I am ill now for two weeks I have totally given up on my Tai-Chi exercises which I normally do evry day (and if it is for 5 minutes or one movement only).Was it because I REALLY couldn`t ? Nope, nothing really prevents me from doing some meditation for example. Only thing preventing me was IN MY HEAD. Should I condemn myself for this ? Bullshit, I realized it, starting with a little exercise yesterday, felt better and hope I will go on with this
.Thanks again Alex
I think you've misread me or I wasn't very clear. Of course you should try. That's a given in life. But if your meds aren't working then that isn't possible because you're not in a state of mind to be able to deal with it in the first place. You can try and put mechanisms in place to cope with things - that's what CBT is for - but the chemical imbalance is going to be dictating things. In the case of autism, the neural networks aren't mapped the usual way. The hippocampus reacts differently. The wiring is different. Sensory overload occurs. It's a different situation for some.
Re: on/off switch. Yes, I agree. These things are spectrum disorders and it kind of depends where the VU meter is swinging on a given day/week/month.
I totally get your point, but in my opinion I have two choices: Being the victim or taking away something positive and being aware that not everything is adaptable to every condition!
Imagine that article being shared of a composer who "wrote that song which touched everyone's heart!"
Def people be like: Nope! All I heard was John Cage 4'33 for the gazillionth time!
Now it is on them if they start feeling insulted by it (not saying you did, but just as a general, more extreme form) or being just happy with the composer?
I am currently working on a course which will include also stuff like fitness, standing desk solutions or exercises on how to take a mindful walk etc ... thousands of wheelchair users obviously can't adopt this!
Now, what would the world look like if everyone would include everyone's condition?
"With this course everyone can learn to drive safely, except people who are blind, paralysed, suffer from __________ (put in here 3478638764 possible disabilities
Again, it makes total sense what you say, but in the end I always have two choices: Fully accept my flaws, disabilities and adapt e.g. articles like the one I wrote and make the best out of it ... or not!
No I applaud what you're doing. It's a healthy idea.
OP
OP
Waywyn
Senior Member
To be honest: there is nothing really new from the point of knowledge in these course. My wife, who is very interested in these things and had done lots of seminars (dont know if you know Christian Bischoff for example) had told me evry insight of this a lot of times, but did I listen
Thanks everyone and yes, @KarlHeinz mentioned a very important point!
With this little blog (or even the free or the full course) I am not doing anything which hasn't been done before nor I am trying to reinvent the wheel.
All this stuff has been talked about before, since hundreds of years, but it always depends on the person doing it! I have e.g. read books about self confidence and there was just one guy who particularly "spoke" to me. He was totally natural and not acting as the greatest emotional coach on the planet, running around on stage and raising his hands in the air and talking as if he has seen some god himself. He was just himself!
The thing I am trying to offer is simply my own experience as a 15+ years experienced guy in the audio bizz, making his way through all the shit (we all deal with - it is always relative) and got it sorted out to, well ... striving to become the best version of myself! .. and with best I mean to be able to fully accept yourself.
And this whole "starting to accept, love and know yourself and also where all your e.g. negative mindsets are coming from" etc. is not really that hard to learn, but it is definitely something outside the comfort zone and takes a lot of effort! But once sorted out, life is just so much better and easier to understand!
