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Wife argues with me because I don't like the 'trailer' type music she just got

Andre Previn would say to his dear friend John Williams, “When are you going to stop writing all that silly film music?” Encouraging him to move completely into the classical world as he had.

I hadn't heard that Dave. Ironic from the man who won all of those Oscars. Funny thing is, when listening to JW's concert works I can see Previn's point, the man has something profound to say, something that needs no picture...truly a modern day genius.
Previn once heard a wonderful and fiendish Paganini solo violin piece being rattled off superbly behind closed doors at a conservatoire. Then a pretty young blonde student came out and AP asked if that was her playing. She said "yes maestro" and as she carried on down some stairs, she turned to him, flicked her hair back and said ever so sweetly, "yeah that Paganini is a real motherfucker"
 
Mike, somewhere online are quotes of some of the most famous composers of history taking blistering shots at other greats. It still goes on today in Pop or Hip Hop or Country or whatever, at all levels of talent. Various motivations are involved no doubt. I don’t think it’s a crime to state your preferences. For the most part I avoid it online because it’s in the negative column. Growing up I appreciated when some musician I admired voiced their distaste for something because it made me listen deeper to understand. I often came around to their view when maturing so I do try and be helpful to younger musicians for that same reason.
 
I bet you could find one or two things about it that you like.

She was trying to form a musical bond with you. It was a bid. Tell her a few things that you liked about it first, and then you can politely explain why overall it doesn’t do much for you. That way she feels heard and appreciated, and will likely be more open to your criticisms.
 
Mike, somewhere online are quotes of some of the most famous composers of history taking blistering shots at other greats. It still goes on today in Pop or Hip Hop or Country or whatever, at all levels of talent. Various motivations are involved no doubt. I don’t think it’s a crime to state your preferences. For the most part I avoid it online because it’s in the negative column. Growing up I appreciated when some musician I admired voiced their distaste for something because it made me listen deeper to understand. I often came around to their view when maturing so I do try and be helpful to younger musicians for that same reason.

Like you, I have found, encouragement at all levels too, we really can be a nice bunch we musicians. My first ever recording session with an orchestra was mentored by a great friend of mine who sadly passed away this year after 25 years of working together. He too did a vast amount of work with younger people, helping many of them break in to the industry.
I've lost count of the number of times I've had long chats in a boozer with younger composers asking me questions I tried to answer responsibly. All part of the great tradition and the great chain of musical being.
I suspect that you, like me, don't feel obligated to help - it's just something about music that makes you want to share and give - pass it on, keep it alive.

Quote for the day from Mahler.....

......"Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire."....
 
It's here. https://www.cmuse.org/harshest-composer-on-composer-insults-in-classical-music/

.......Anyhow, even if totally fake, I am of the opinion that next to Satie's influence Debussy is 100 % the jilted lover of Parsifal. That "Sunset mistaken for a Sunrise" comes from a broken heart in my opinion.

Pellias is his response, that really never could have happened without Parsifal. (btw Debussy used to play in restaurants, singing the whole 1st act of Parsifal.)


Musicians can be funny creatures.

Thanks for the link Doug, I'll have fun with that.
I do not know Pelleas well enough so your words are good enough. Ironically, I doubt Wagner could have written La Mer. Wagner's rhetoric was still bound by high Romanticism even if his harmony was making incredulous tonal walls bulge. The 'stream of consciousness' rhetoric that is La Mer (and the Prelude L'apres) was markedly different. Debussy didn't need Wagner in the end imv.
 
I used to think that pop or electro/techno/house/whatever was just stupid and ultra simple music created by talentless people. But when I started to dive into music production I found several tutorial made by those people, and well, I learned a lot. They know exactly what they are doing, they know their audience, they know what aspects they need to master to make a great electro track.

Serious question: how many people do we have here who make neurofunk? I read somewhere it's one of the hardest genres to make, and so far I have to agree. I crashed and burned every time I tried to make something along those lines.

I bet you could find one or two things about it that you like.

She was trying to form a musical bond with you. It was a bid. Tell her a few things that you liked about it first, and then you can politely explain why overall it doesn’t do much for you. That way she feels heard and appreciated, and will likely be more open to your criticisms.

I read of a study once where they monitored couples for a weekend and checked back on them 10 years later to see if they were still together. The strongest predictor of them staying together was the percentage of such "bids for attention" that was answered. The higher the better. Iirc the frequency of arguments had no impact, though that test setup is ill suited to track that frequency anyway.


Edit: @Robert_G I listened to your two tracks on soundcloud while writing this. Beautiful! And I'm not surprised you're putting much weight into the melodies in your quality judgement. If you haven't already, check out redbanned.com , you'll find a little more support for the "if you can't sing it, it's bad" school of thought (which definitely has and needs its place, I just wouldn't want it to be the only one).

Also please ask your wife what the artist and album in question was, I'm sure many of us are curious to take a listen now :D. Maybe tell her you want to give it a second chance or something. I wouldn't advise telling here "it's for the forum where I ranted about your terrible taste in music".
 
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I read of a study once where they monitored couples for a weekend and checked back on them 10 years later to see if they were still together. The strongest predictor of them staying together was the percentage of such "bids for attention" that was answered. The higher the better. Iirc the frequency of arguments had no impact, though that test setup is ill suited to track that frequency anyway

I read that same study (an article summarizing it to be honest) and it resonated quite deeply with me. That’s why I used the word, “bid”

So now I find myself frequently trying to recognize when my GF is placing a bid. That’s the good part.

The bad part is I get annoyed more easily when I see she isn’t doing the same thing!
 
I wasn't aware that this site is now offering marriage counseling.

Can I get my oil changed here too?
 
Why are men always being held HOSTAGE by their "loving" wives?!?

Oh dear... You better explain that one otherwise you come across as an un-reconstructed neanderthal InCel douchebag... which I'm sure wasn't your intention.
 
Sorry if my answer sounded harsh, that was not the goal. English is not my native language, so I guess I could have found a better way to say that.

It's just that your statements made me think of what I used to think about other types of music, and learning more about them was eye opening to me. I just wanted to share that with you just in case it can be useful.

No worries....it is the internet after all.​

I bet you could find one or two things about it that you like.

She was trying to form a musical bond with you. It was a bid. Tell her a few things that you liked about it first, and then you can politely explain why overall it doesn’t do much for you. That way she feels heard and appreciated, and will likely be more open to your criticisms.

Pretty sure you nailed it....I just missed what was taking place when she was putting in the bid.....this is where the women say "Typical man...isn't paying attention."
 
I read of a study once where they monitored couples for a weekend and checked back on them 10 years later to see if they were still together. The strongest predictor of them staying together was the percentage of such "bids for attention" that was answered. The higher the better. Iirc the frequency of arguments had no impact, though that test setup is ill suited to track that frequency anyway.

Makes total sense. I usually listen to what she has to say when she wants to talk about something, but the piece was so mundane and she insisted on my opinion....so I kind of bluntly just gave it to her. As we can see, it didn't go so well.

Edit: @Robert_G I listened to your two tracks on soundcloud while writing this. Beautiful! And I'm not surprised you're putting much weight into the melodies in your quality judgement. If you haven't already, check out redbanned.com , you'll find a little more support for the "if you can't sing it, it's bad" school of thought (which definitely has and needs its place, I just wouldn't want it to be the only one).

Thanks for the kind words about my tracks. I'm new to mixing and composing, but I'm starting to figure it out...and being lyrical is important to me.

Also please ask your wife what the artist and album in question was, I'm sure many of us are curious to take a listen now :D. Maybe tell her you want to give it a second chance or something. I wouldn't advise telling here "it's for the forum where I ranted about your terrible taste in music".

Yeah....tried that...and I've been told not to bring it up because I don't care. That discussion is over unless I want on the couch for the rest of the week.
 
I read that same study (an article summarizing it to be honest) and it resonated quite deeply with me. That’s why I used the word, “bid”

So now I find myself frequently trying to recognize when my GF is placing a bid. That’s the good part.

The bad part is I get annoyed more easily when I see she isn’t doing the same thing!

Ha! Thought you might have read about that too, because I've never seen the term used elsewhere in that context. I told my girlfriend about the article and we were already doing pretty well in this area, but she still sometimes falls asleep when I tell her stuff that's not very engaging for her (anything technical or mathematical). This has happend multiple times, including one time where it was prefaced by "If I tell you, you're gonna fall asleep anyway." - "No I won't, I promise!"
:faint:

But I can't be mad about that, I just wish I could sleep so easily as well. :)

Yeah....tried that...and I've been told not to bring it up because I don't care. That discussion is over unless I want on the couch for the rest of the week.
Sorry to hear that! Probably better to give it a rest then.
 
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