Short background:
I started an intense development of my music skills back in 1996. I was living, eating, dreaming music. Around 10 years later I got my first TV composing jobs (for short forms, like weather and horoscope shows, ads...). That led to a bigger gig for the top organization in my country, for which media production company I worked for got reward. That led to another gig for which I got the greatest compliment in my life by industry professional (not in person though): that my music is like Jean Michel Jarre's, only better.
Working with the TV producer I was working for was a blessing. I insisted on the long briefs and getting every creative information I could get. A demand he patiently met. Because of that, I have never had to recompose anything and producer was always baffled how can I integrate every single idea into a great music (his words, not mine).
However, my experience was an exception. Other artists (directors, actors, composers...) weren't that lucky. And a lot of jerky behaviors happened. As you can imagine.
Since I live in a developing country, I attributed that kind of behavior to a lack of money: when cake is small, everyone fights for crumbs.
But then an international high profile event happened for which a lot of us got very thrilled. At the end of that event shit hit the fan and a big abusive behavior from high profile industry professionals took place.
Alongside my composing skills development, another passion was growing. Psychotherapy.
Psychotherapy was my interest, hobby, good read... until I discovered constructivism. Blown away by structural thinking about human psyche I started my training in psychotherapy. That left me less time for music, but led to a practical work with people.
One type of abusive behavior that cause mental disturbance in people is double-binding or mixed messages. Imagine conversation like this:
A: Listen what I'm telling you: give me a glass of water.
B: Here is your water.
A: Why did you give me a water?!?!?!?
B: You asked for it.
A: You should've bring me a juice!!!
B: But you asked for a water.
A: Why did you listen to me?
At a smaller scale, this just pisses of people. At the largest scale this kind of behavior can cause severe damage. In between it causes anxiety.
This kind of behavior is what thousands of people got at the end of that high profile event I've mentioned earlier. People got pissed off. Felt disrespected. Raised their voices.
But then, different voices started to kick in, voices from professionals, voices like: all those snowflakes; you need to develop a thick skin; just move on; all those who complain will never get to work in the industry... Even THE Biggest Fish in the industry defended abusive behavior and abuser.
In psychology this is called internalized aggression(/aggressor) or internalized abuse(r). And is THE signal that person lives in a highly toxic environment and should be displaced if possible.
I always thought that if money and creative opportunities are no longer an issue, if artistic survival is secured, that humane treatment of another human being is unblocked and raised to a higher level.
Is top level film scoring industry really this toxic environment?
Alongside private psychotherapy practice, I work as a music teacher in a public music high school. I teach media composition. And I thought that media material that this big event provided was a godsend for motivating students, for providing them a feeling of a high profile project.
In the introductory classes I like giving insight into a cultural context in which composing happens. And I thought that when artistic survival is secured, composer's stress is about making the best creative decision and meeting a deadline.
I thought that mutual respect is a must.
Was it just my delusion?
If acceptance of abusive behavior is not economy related, then there is some other deeper issue in film scoring industry, an issue unknown to me.
Issue that screams: RUN!!!!
I started an intense development of my music skills back in 1996. I was living, eating, dreaming music. Around 10 years later I got my first TV composing jobs (for short forms, like weather and horoscope shows, ads...). That led to a bigger gig for the top organization in my country, for which media production company I worked for got reward. That led to another gig for which I got the greatest compliment in my life by industry professional (not in person though): that my music is like Jean Michel Jarre's, only better.
Working with the TV producer I was working for was a blessing. I insisted on the long briefs and getting every creative information I could get. A demand he patiently met. Because of that, I have never had to recompose anything and producer was always baffled how can I integrate every single idea into a great music (his words, not mine).
However, my experience was an exception. Other artists (directors, actors, composers...) weren't that lucky. And a lot of jerky behaviors happened. As you can imagine.
Since I live in a developing country, I attributed that kind of behavior to a lack of money: when cake is small, everyone fights for crumbs.
But then an international high profile event happened for which a lot of us got very thrilled. At the end of that event shit hit the fan and a big abusive behavior from high profile industry professionals took place.
Alongside my composing skills development, another passion was growing. Psychotherapy.
Psychotherapy was my interest, hobby, good read... until I discovered constructivism. Blown away by structural thinking about human psyche I started my training in psychotherapy. That left me less time for music, but led to a practical work with people.
One type of abusive behavior that cause mental disturbance in people is double-binding or mixed messages. Imagine conversation like this:
A: Listen what I'm telling you: give me a glass of water.
B: Here is your water.
A: Why did you give me a water?!?!?!?
B: You asked for it.
A: You should've bring me a juice!!!
B: But you asked for a water.
A: Why did you listen to me?
At a smaller scale, this just pisses of people. At the largest scale this kind of behavior can cause severe damage. In between it causes anxiety.
This kind of behavior is what thousands of people got at the end of that high profile event I've mentioned earlier. People got pissed off. Felt disrespected. Raised their voices.
But then, different voices started to kick in, voices from professionals, voices like: all those snowflakes; you need to develop a thick skin; just move on; all those who complain will never get to work in the industry... Even THE Biggest Fish in the industry defended abusive behavior and abuser.
In psychology this is called internalized aggression(/aggressor) or internalized abuse(r). And is THE signal that person lives in a highly toxic environment and should be displaced if possible.
I always thought that if money and creative opportunities are no longer an issue, if artistic survival is secured, that humane treatment of another human being is unblocked and raised to a higher level.
Is top level film scoring industry really this toxic environment?
Alongside private psychotherapy practice, I work as a music teacher in a public music high school. I teach media composition. And I thought that media material that this big event provided was a godsend for motivating students, for providing them a feeling of a high profile project.
In the introductory classes I like giving insight into a cultural context in which composing happens. And I thought that when artistic survival is secured, composer's stress is about making the best creative decision and meeting a deadline.
I thought that mutual respect is a must.
Was it just my delusion?
If acceptance of abusive behavior is not economy related, then there is some other deeper issue in film scoring industry, an issue unknown to me.
Issue that screams: RUN!!!!