Rabbit - A New Composition.

RRBE Sound

Active Member
Hello everyone,

I am about to publish this track ''Rabbits''. Here is a short story of the composition:

This track was composed as part of a series of 5-7 compositions for a part 3 of feature film ''White Rabbits'' Org. Hvide Kaniner''.

The main plot of the film is a religious sect, which deals and sell drugs and alike. The ''Rabbits'' are members who try to acquire new members and become more integrated with the ''religion''. There is a lot of emotional exchange through out hte story.

Unfortunatly the film, which was in pre production, came to a hold due to losses of founding.

I am asking for some feedback, however, mostly on the sound picture as a whole more than composition technique.

Rabbits:

Thank you!
All the best
Rune
 

Jaap

Senior Member
Hey Rune,

You created a nice emotional score, I really miss a picture with it and this is a compliment as I can really hear this was made in conjunction with quite some emotional scenery. Pitty the project didn't work out, but I have no doubt this music would have wonderful with whatever was going on on the screen!
 
OP
RRBE Sound

RRBE Sound

Active Member
Hey Rune,

You created a nice emotional score, I really miss a picture of it and this is a compliment as I can really hear this was made in conjunction with quite some emotional scenery. Pitty the project didn't work out, but I have no doubt this music would have wonderful with whatever was going on on the screen!
Thank you @Jaap :) ! - I appreciate it! - And nice to hear that you can hear the connection to a ''un-made'' film. :)

I am actually working on an art-cover, which should help a bit! :)
 

yhomas

Member
Hello everyone,

I am about to publish this track ''Rabbits''. Here is a short story of the composition:

This track was composed as part of a series of 5-7 compositions for a part 3 of feature film ''White Rabbits'' Org. Hvide Kaniner''.

The main plot of the film is a religious sect, which deals and sell drugs and alike. The ''Rabbits'' are members who try to acquire new members and become more integrated with the ''religion''. There is a lot of emotional exchange through out hte story.

Unfortunatly the film, which was in pre production, came to a hold due to losses of founding.

I am asking for some feedback, however, mostly on the sound picture as a whole more than composition technique.

Rabbits:

Thank you!
All the best
Rune
Layperson perspective:

#1. There are lots of things I like here, but I will try to focus on criticism, which is more valuable feedback IMO. Overall, this is listenable background music, that I can imagine might work with a picture.

#2. The composition seems like it repeats the same short theme too many times though without enough variety or content.

I don’t love the theme so much that I want it hammered at me so repeatedly. (If you want to get the point more thoroughly, read the above, a few more times in a row.)

Even if this was a 3min song, I would like more musical content—at 7min it’s just too boring. As an audience member, I would only sit through it if forced to do so in order to watch the picture—which I don’t have.

#3. The variation you attempt at 5:00-5:06 is not musically valid IMO—it sounds like a recorded mistake that after listening someone thought wasn’t really all that bad, so they just left it in. Please fix the notes.

#4. Tempo seems so very slow. Maybe there is a reason for this. You do pick up the tempo for a few seconds, but I don’t want to have to suffer the rest of the time. Also, the sudden tempo increase seems unnatural to me—like you played it in at regular tempo, then sped up afterwards.

#5. Piano sound is not my favorite. The piano playing seems clumsy and at a high dynamic even though the music is soft? I would guess that it would work better played in more quietly—turn monitors louder to get pianist to play quieter with more attention to emotion. Or maybe you need a better pianist. Or maybe playing octaves is unnatural and causes a weak performance.

#6. Do we really need melody octaves played all the time on the piano? I find these very annoying. Personally, I wouldn’t even double these on another instrument in the quiet parts.

Maybe you don’t like the weak/delicate sound on that particular piano—so change the piano sound. Or maybe it’s just that the melody line it’s self doesn’t work great on a piano period—in that scenario, change the melody or the instrument. It’s ok to do variation—there are no rules. But the octaves literally only double down on whatever the problem is IMO.

#7. The cello sound is great, but it seems like you have two cello takes playing, one panned left, the other panned right. Why? It makes weird/distracting phasy effects where the apparent cello sound image shifts left/right. I can understand doing this with synths/keys to add some interest, but on a cello, it doesn’t do anything good—the image should stay exactly the same. If you want to double it, keep them both panned center unless you actually had two cellos playing in a room recorded in stereo, and in that case, you can either leave the stereo image as it was recorded, or collapse to mono depending on what works better.

#8. Cymbals are really loud.

#9. Solo string instruments sound a lot better than the ensemble, so the climax seems anticlimactic, especially since the building momentum is only done by adding larger numbers of samples playing mostly the same notes—again and again. And the tempo is so sluggish.

IMO, it seems like the momentum could better be built by adding more orchestrated rhythm (ether done with melodic instruments or drums). And frankly, it seems like there is rhythm is lacking/missing anyway.

#10. Probably could use more reverb.

#11. Fade out of strings to silence at 1:46 is distracting. It’s ok to do a fade, but it shouldn’t be obvious to a layperson. Fade back in is less offensive, but still sounds like a fade.

That being said, maybe it works as an effect with the picture, but I can’t see the picture.

#12. Does the string/piano really need to double each other? The cello sounds pretty nice playing the melody line, whereas the piano is fairly annoying.
 
OP
RRBE Sound

RRBE Sound

Active Member
Layperson perspective:

#1. There are lots of things I like here, but I will try to focus on criticism, which is more valuable feedback IMO. Overall, this is listenable background music, that I can imagine might work with a picture.

#2. The composition seems like it repeats the same short theme too many times though without enough variety or content.

I don’t love the theme so much that I want it hammered at me so repeatedly. (If you want to get the point more thoroughly, read the above, a few more times in a row.)

Even if this was a 3min song, I would like more musical content—at 7min it’s just too boring. As an audience member, I would only sit through it if forced to do so in order to watch the picture—which I don’t have.

#3. The variation you attempt at 5:00-5:06 is not musically valid IMO—it sounds like a recorded mistake that after listening someone thought wasn’t really all that bad, so they just left it in. Please fix the notes.

#4. Tempo seems so very slow. Maybe there is a reason for this. You do pick up the tempo for a few seconds, but I don’t want to have to suffer the rest of the time. Also, the sudden tempo increase seems unnatural to me—like you played it in at regular tempo, then sped up afterwards.

#5. Piano sound is not my favorite. The piano playing seems clumsy and at a high dynamic even though the music is soft? I would guess that it would work better played in more quietly—turn monitors louder to get pianist to play quieter with more attention to emotion. Or maybe you need a better pianist. Or maybe playing octaves is unnatural and causes a weak performance.

#6. Do we really need melody octaves played all the time on the piano? I find these very annoying. Personally, I wouldn’t even double these on another instrument in the quiet parts.

Maybe you don’t like the weak/delicate sound on that particular piano—so change the piano sound. Or maybe it’s just that the melody line it’s self doesn’t work great on a piano period—in that scenario, change the melody or the instrument. It’s ok to do variation—there are no rules. But the octaves literally only double down on whatever the problem is IMO.

#7. The cello sound is great, but it seems like you have two cello takes playing, one panned left, the other panned right. Why? It makes weird/distracting phasy effects where the apparent cello sound image shifts left/right. I can understand doing this with synths/keys to add some interest, but on a cello, it doesn’t do anything good—the image should stay exactly the same. If you want to double it, keep them both panned center unless you actually had two cellos playing in a room recorded in stereo, and in that case, you can either leave the stereo image as it was recorded, or collapse to mono depending on what works better.

#8. Cymbals are really loud.

#9. Solo string instruments sound a lot better than the ensemble, so the climax seems anticlimactic, especially since the building momentum is only done by adding larger numbers of samples playing mostly the same notes—again and again. And the tempo is so sluggish.

IMO, it seems like the momentum could better be built by adding more orchestrated rhythm (ether done with melodic instruments or drums). And frankly, it seems like there is rhythm is lacking/missing anyway.

#10. Probably could use more reverb.

#11. Fade out of strings to silence at 1:46 is distracting. It’s ok to do a fade, but it shouldn’t be obvious to a layperson. Fade back in is less offensive, but still sounds like a fade.

That being said, maybe it works as an effect with the picture, but I can’t see the picture.

#12. Does the string/piano really need to double each other? The cello sounds pretty nice playing the melody line, whereas the piano is fairly annoying.
Thanks @yhomas

There is a lot of great feedback here! - I just did a quick read-through, but will do one or two more.

Yes, there is a lot of repetition, the reason being that the track would be devided into pieces for the film.. So I have tried to combine it :)

I think the paning with the cello is a mistake - I am not sure why this happens, but I will try to correct it!

Thank you! - A great respons!