im sure everyone has a specific story. but ill share mine. maybe itll help.
my parents used anti depressants a lot. my father was constantly changing due to tolerance and each time each change was like a heart attack. they where immigrants from argentina. and over there seems like half the population is psiciatrists. so they took antidepressants and also valium/etc.
during my teen years and later they sent me to a psicatrist and of course as rebel teen i got the antidepressants. but im not from argentina and all my friends in Venezuela just saw that as wierd. why not just drink your problems away. everyone has issues. so culturally i saw things differently. now there is a stereo type in Venezuela that argentinians are depressed as fuck. but back then i didntk now.
but for them history and familiarity said antidepressants are ok. now of course i realzies they just had a lot of issues to deal with and just went for antidepressants.
anyways, i later stopped using them and it was wierd. it felt like i was feeling again. antidepressants helps by not getting too sad or too happy. so afterwards it was of course difficult. and anxiety of course was a huge thing. but i managed. having friends and a goal helps.
anyways, i still felt the anxiety and could not sleep. so i tried the pharmacy sleep aid and that left me dizzy the next morning. so i tried melatonin. and it kinda worked. i also tried kava kava and it was nice. but kava is not nie to the liver so stopped. i once enter a NYC supplement store back in 2003 and one russian dude working there asked me what i wanted and i just said kava kava and he said witht he obvious thick russian accent " kava bad for liver" here take this. and he gave me L-Theanine.
remember that back then there was no "googling" so i just tried it. and it worked. i was able to relax and with the melatonin go to sleep.
but one thing that was important and took forever to figure out. these supplements that kind of relax you and are over the counter, the idea is that you dont use them like you do heavy antidepressants and xanax.. the idea is to lower your tolerance using friends, psicologists, life changes, to lower your level of anxiety to where these supplements work wonders. and no stigma.
just google L-theanine and caffeine and youll see its one of the main thing programmers in san fransisco do to enhance work and get stuff done.
for music appreciation i would say weed. but for me, i have to get drunk in order to get high becuase the anxiety of weed is too much. (no matter what "strain") i overthink way too much. and socially is a disaster.
but once every 2-4 weeks or so i do get some rum, beer and weed and just take the day off mentally and just try to enjoy making and listening to music in the studio. no pressure etc. once music or sound design is a day job, then the fun gets lost easily. but again, if weed is not for you then dont do it.
now im trying other things. im doing kratom. which affects the opiod receptors. and there are other things like Kanna, Tryptophan, Rhodiola, macuna dopa and a few others which are natural anti anxiety.
the one big warning is to not take these if you are taking SSRI or other antidepressants.
kratom is cool. white kratom does have some caffeine like effects and also relaxes. im trying to get energized w/o coffee so thats why i went for it. so far so good. there are some warnings so better read up on it.
but to me the best is L-Theanine. and taking low doses helps not feel anxious but also dont feel groggy . there is no side effects or risk of addiction. helps with sleep or can take with caffeine to feel more productive (high caffeine w no jitters)
so anyways, the big take away is that im very paranoid with psiciatrist specially in the USA where they treat antidepresants like candy and they need recurring appintment$. im sure some are good and some poeple defenitly need it. but in general i feel the system is rigged to get more drugs, hence the whole opiods epidemic. btw In venezuela we have to do social cummunity service for last year of school to graduate and i did mine in a mental asylum... now.. THATS having mental problems.
but in general i think its better going to an experienced (older) psicologist who talks to you.. not only listens. and seeing his recommendations w/o the bias of having to rx.
and whatch out for "life coaches".
and the other thing is that if you feel like external help is needed there are natural supplements that are mild and working towards getting to that mild level requires some life changes and help from psicolgist to manage any issues.
And what also help is having a stable job. a normal 9-5 job non music related.
And the worse thing... you might just be getting old
why do you think record companies market so much music to teens?
Also, maybe try listening to more music. if you have amazon prime, then get amazon music app and just try to listen to more music.
i do sometimes feel the same. so hope this helps. and id like to read what others say.