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Quit antidepressants - music seems less exciting

i think one thing that has helped me a great deal is taking a hard daily walk in Central Park. Up hills, down hills, about five miles a day, which takes me approximately an hour and fifteen minutes. It builds endorphins, gets me some sunlight, some fresh air-and I’ve become a bit of a bird watcher:) There are hawks and ducks, Canada geese and cardinals, etc etc. A daily walk takes me out of myself for a little while. I’ve been at it for about 6 years and it’s made me a little lighter in spirit.

You may find yourself a little nervous on Wellbutrin. Nothing to worry about, really. Good luck to you.
 
i think one thing that has helped me a great deal is taking a hard daily walk in Central Park. Up hills, down hills, about five miles a day, which takes me approximately an hour and fifteen minutes. It builds endorphins, gets me some sunlight, some fresh air-and I’ve become a bit of a bird watcher:) There are hawks and ducks, Canada geese and cardinals, etc etc. A daily walk takes me out of myself for a little while. I’ve been at it for about 6 years and it’s made me a little lighter in spirit.

You may find yourself a little nervous on Wellbutrin. Nothing to worry about, really. Good luck to you.
Hi NYC
I actually do feel more anxious in the last couple of days (8 days on welbutrin) do you mean not worried about it because it goes away after a certain period? do you have good experience with it?
about high intensity walks, I try to do at least 3 timea week and it helps allot...
Thanks

I am musician full time. And the most depressing time in my life I left music for a long time. I found back to music when I found solutions to OTHER aspects of my life that didn't have any relationship to music, e.g. partner, family, children, stability, perspective on projects, etc. My advice based on my experience is to also look at other aspects of your life that need attention. If you take care of the whole, your house, your plants, your pet and the relationship to family and important persons in your life, music will come from alone to you again, because there will be place again for it. My experience was that I needed to resolve my "problems" prior to get back to music.

Best of best,
Jorge
I think this is part of the problem, I try to figure it out, so do you say once you worked on yournon music related issues your passion to music return?

thanks for the input
 
Metal,

It’s just sort of an up drug. I’ve not taken it, but friends and family have, pretty successfully. It’s just a little jittery. If it gets uncomfortable, talk to your MD about dosing.
 
I've been off SSRI for 4 years, and I've experienced a deep sense of loss toward the 12 years I've used them. Short-term memory problems, sizzling creativity gone, dexterity reduced, etc. So it is a very personal, case by case. I'm readjusting to my life and giving time to the Muse to come back on her own terms. Step by step.

Maybe listen to some different or more exciting music. I know that sounds sarcastic and snarky or looks so on the page but it’s possible that what felt like 70mph just feels like 30. Every couple years I need a jolt myself. What have you been listening to?

I personally go back to the music I listened to in the '70s and a few other periods. I listen to whole albums, and it really boosts my mood. Many bands have stopped recording and touring for many years, until they rejoined to carry on, usually with new additions.

Basically, I'm going where the sound used to excite me when I was a lad. And I explore other genres of music (lately the Armenian duduk). Discovering how these sounds make me respond inside has been awesome.

I've been off SSRIs since 2016 when I separated. Looking back, I had lost 12 years of creativity on those meds. If music springs from a personal need, if it fills a unique function on our life, it's always going to be there. The creativity aspect has to be helped I think. In my case, anyways. And pressing through with being focused to carry a project to completion. That's the challenge in my case: persistent motivation.

Now I only use meds for ADHD, and it works better. I can't mix certain meds anymore. If Wellbutrin helps you, take note and clear the fog around this. Meds don't take away from our talent. If they keep us from harm or destitution, it's a big plus! :)

All the best, as you see there are many creatives who are faced with that reality.

Cheers,

Andre
 
I've been off SSRI for 4 years, and I've experienced a deep sense of loss toward the 12 years I've used them. Short-term memory problems, sizzling creativity gone, dexterity reduced, etc. So it is a very personal, case by case. I'm readjusting to my life and giving time to the Muse to come back on her own terms. Step by step.



I personally go back to the music I listened to in the '70s and a few other periods. I listen to whole albums, and it really boosts my mood. Many bands have stopped recording and touring for many years, until they rejoined to carry on, usually with new additions.

Basically, I'm going where the sound used to excite me when I was a lad. And I explore other genres of music (lately the Armenian duduk). Discovering how these sounds make me respond inside has been awesome.

I've been off SSRIs since 2016 when I separated. Looking back, I had lost 12 years of creativity on those meds. If music springs from a personal need, if it fills a unique function on our life, it's always going to be there. The creativity aspect has to be helped I think. In my case, anyways. And pressing through with being focused to carry a project to completion. That's the challenge in my case: persistent motivation.

Now I only use meds for ADHD, and it works better. I can't mix certain meds anymore. If Wellbutrin helps you, take note and clear the fog around this. Meds don't take away from our talent. If they keep us from harm or destitution, it's a big plus! :)

All the best, as you see there are many creatives who are faced with that reality.

Cheers,

Andre

Thank you for sharing you stroy,
Iv'e actually had increased dextirity, amazing creativity while on meds, but had allot of not so good things like :Increased OCD (I now actually communicate much better) fatigue, vivid dreams etc..
About the type of music I don't think it's the case, every genre sounds dull , sure, sometimes it sound ok but I don't find myself carving sounds like I used to be, I have no interest in taking my mixes to the "next level" like I used to be.
One more side effect Iv'e noticed while I was on meds, I didn't left my comfort zone, everything was good, so why change..

I stopped taking Wellbutrin, it only gave migraines , and not elevated my mood. maybe there are more meds like I used to take (SNRI)
I will try to take more time (without meds) maybe my brain needs more time to adjust (it's only been 3 months since discontinue the med) , I'm also having decreased motivation in other areas of my life..
Anyway will see how it goes

Thanks!
 
I know they are of benefit to some, but I will not take anti-depression or anti-anxiety medication. I made the mistake of requesting from a general practitioner something that would "take the edge off" when I was feeling anxious about my health. I was given Lexipro and it fucked me up so badly—leading to full bore panic attacks and crippling anxiety, followed by severe insomnia and "brain sparks"—that I was ready to throw myself under a bus. I stopped taking it and it has taken me four years to feel normal again. I was told by a shrink that there are other medications I could take that won't have the same side effects, but I'm unwilling to take the chance. I have decided that the best way to get over any anxiety I have is to learn to deal with it without medication. This decision has served me well and I'm 99% back to my normal self.

Again, I know such medications work for some, but not for me.
 
I know they are of benefit to some, but I will not take anti-depression or anti-anxiety medication. I made the mistake of requesting from a general practitioner something that would "take the edge off" when I was feeling anxious about my health. I was given Lexipro and it fucked me up so badly—leading to full bore panic attacks and crippling anxiety, followed by severe insomnia and "brain sparks"—that I was ready to throw myself under a bus. I stopped taking it and it has taken me four years to feel normal again. I was told by a shrink that there are other medications I could take that won't have the same side effects, but I'm unwilling to take the chance. I have decided that the best way to get over any anxiety I have is to learn to deal with it without medication. This decision has served me well and I'm 99% back to my normal self.

Again, I know such medications work for some, but not for me.
It is strange about Lexipro. It made me suicidal. Then I switched to it’s original drug, Celexa and it was a miracle drug for me. The trade off for me was that my creativity suffered. It didn’t stop, it just wasn’t like before. Because of the level of depression and anxiety I had suffered through for almost 2 years, I am not comfortable just walking away from meds, but I miss the creativity. I have gotten out of the composer’s hamster wheel, but of course, I would love to write amazing music again.
 
I know they are of benefit to some, but I will not take anti-depression or anti-anxiety medication. I made the mistake of requesting from a general practitioner something that would "take the edge off" when I was feeling anxious about my health. I was given Lexipro and it fucked me up so badly—leading to full bore panic attacks and crippling anxiety, followed by severe insomnia and "brain sparks"—that I was ready to throw myself under a bus. I stopped taking it and it has taken me four years to feel normal again. I was told by a shrink that there are other medications I could take that won't have the same side effects, but I'm unwilling to take the chance. I have decided that the best way to get over any anxiety I have is to learn to deal with it without medication. This decision has served me well and I'm 99% back to my normal self.

Again, I know such medications work for some, but not for me.

Wow... Lexapro did the same for me. I had been off meds for 3 years, and my doc prescribed Vyvanse plus Lexapro. I spent 3 days reliving nearly the same reactions than two overdoses of coke 25 years ago. It freaked me out big time. I finally stopped that. I decided I wouldn't take antidepressants, only Adderall for ADHD.

One of the thing I find is that - living with the edge brought about by my condition is kind of part of my creativity. Creativity seems to have been a go-to tool early on in life to help me deal with heavy inner dynamics triggered by a heavy environment. Does that make sense? Creativity as a tool for survival and inner recalibration.

Cheers,

Andre
 
Hello Guys!
I thought I will share some update about my situation since I got so many good advice from you.
So since November I quit antidepressants, I struggled with depression and anxiety after two months which was a result from withdrawals syndrome! I quit the drug way to fast and thought my depression is back! after trying 2 new pills for one week each time situation was worsened, I quit everything altogether, it was rough month but now in the last week and a half I feel very good, almost no depression or anxiety , I also practiced CBT mainly from the book Feeling Good by David D. Burns , I also took some of your advice about intense workouts, walking, nutrition, all helped!

Like I said I'm now feeling good without any medication, I got some motivation back and started listening and creating music again, one thing still remains which is minor compared to all the benefits I got but it still bothers me, is the ability to be appreciate sound and massive excitement I had from creating music.

Now, music still sound more analytical to my ears, it is not as bad as it was 2 months ago, which everything sounded compressed and digital in a disgusting way, I now can enjoy music again , but it still bit harsh to my ears, if I'm writing a cue I still don't get the WOW factor from creating an insane beat which get me in the mood for creating and developing from hours.

I definitely dont want to take SSRI's again for that reason, since there is no real problem beside slightly decrease in motivation and enjoyment from sound.
I hope what I'm saying make since, and hope it will improve in time, but do you think maybe ADHD medication could "fix" that? maybe my brain is still rebooting from 8 years on antidepressants?
What was it that the SSRI's did which made me feel more exited about music?
I'm more connected to myself and my emotions now, I communicate better and this is a good thing.
Thanks again for your wonderful support!

@creativeforge
@Tim_Wells
@SupremeFist
@Greg
@InLight-Tone
@John Longley
 
I hope what I'm saying make since, and hope it will improve in time, but do you think maybe ADHD medication could "fix" that? maybe my brain is still rebooting from 8 years on antidepressants?
What was it that the SSRI's did which made me feel more exited about music?

Many people with ADHD have found ways to do life without meds. You obviously have found a path for yourself that works! :) I think if you continue your practices and strengthen your outlook on life via CBT, I'm not your doctor but I think you'll be fine. You seem to make good use of practices and methods, and that is a strength.

In light of this, two sources came to mind as far as inspiration to further continue your amazing journey to creativity and well-being:

1- Oblique strategies (Brian Eno)

2- The Artist's Way (Julia Cameron)

51BKZSexX3L.jpg

A book that I found quite inspiring, with daily task you can do in order to unplug the well of creativity inside of you.


I'm more connected to myself and my emotions now, I communicate better and this is a good thing.
Thanks again for your wonderful support!

Well, believe me, that's more than a lot of people can say about themselves... ;)

Cheers,

Andre
 
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Hello guys
I did post a similar post here couple years back, but wanted to hear your insight again

In the last 10 years Iv'e been on couple of SSRI & SNRI, all was good beside the side effects I didn't like, usually fatigue and some weird dreams, and it also helped with my IBS.
In the last year they seems to be less effective to me (still get depressed sometimes ) and I seemed to be more anxious and the side effects bugged me more,so I decided to quit.
I want to add that also In the last couple years I turned pro and I'm making money with my music.

Now that I'm 3 months "clean" There seems to be more positive issues, I'm less anxious and more relaxed but and this is a big but I'm less excited with making music.
In terms of sound and music (mines and others) everything seems to sound "ok"not mindblowing or amazing like I felt when I was on the pill. I feel like I'm not admiring good sounds like I used to be, for example in the past I used to buy a sample library and get really excited with the sounds, instant inspiration made me takes sounds and build a pallet of sounds and eventually creating a tune.
Now everything sound compressed and harsh, to an extent, I still enjoy music but not excited like I used to be, when I listen to my tracks now they seems very bright and digital (as well as other's music)
From the reading I did it seems to be some sort of depression because the excitement seems to have gotten worse (a little) with other aspects like socializing and approaching music companies to get a deal, right before I quit I was excited with getting a new client and sent emails and believe in myself more, now I really don't want to send emails.. it's like I'm ok without music

Now.. I'm still functioning well and I can create music even if it less enjoyable, but I'm worried that the excitement isn't going to be back..
any of you can relate to my story? any tips?

I'm also trying to eat healthy and exercise and it seems to help..


im sure everyone has a specific story. but ill share mine. maybe itll help.
my parents used anti depressants a lot. my father was constantly changing due to tolerance and each time each change was like a heart attack. they where immigrants from argentina. and over there seems like half the population is psiciatrists. so they took antidepressants and also valium/etc.
during my teen years and later they sent me to a psicatrist and of course as rebel teen i got the antidepressants. but im not from argentina and all my friends in Venezuela just saw that as wierd. why not just drink your problems away. everyone has issues. so culturally i saw things differently. now there is a stereo type in Venezuela that argentinians are depressed as fuck. but back then i didntk now.
but for them history and familiarity said antidepressants are ok. now of course i realzies they just had a lot of issues to deal with and just went for antidepressants.
anyways, i later stopped using them and it was wierd. it felt like i was feeling again. antidepressants helps by not getting too sad or too happy. so afterwards it was of course difficult. and anxiety of course was a huge thing. but i managed. having friends and a goal helps.

anyways, i still felt the anxiety and could not sleep. so i tried the pharmacy sleep aid and that left me dizzy the next morning. so i tried melatonin. and it kinda worked. i also tried kava kava and it was nice. but kava is not nie to the liver so stopped. i once enter a NYC supplement store back in 2003 and one russian dude working there asked me what i wanted and i just said kava kava and he said witht he obvious thick russian accent " kava bad for liver" here take this. and he gave me L-Theanine.
remember that back then there was no "googling" so i just tried it. and it worked. i was able to relax and with the melatonin go to sleep.

but one thing that was important and took forever to figure out. these supplements that kind of relax you and are over the counter, the idea is that you dont use them like you do heavy antidepressants and xanax.. the idea is to lower your tolerance using friends, psicologists, life changes, to lower your level of anxiety to where these supplements work wonders. and no stigma.
just google L-theanine and caffeine and youll see its one of the main thing programmers in san fransisco do to enhance work and get stuff done.

for music appreciation i would say weed. but for me, i have to get drunk in order to get high becuase the anxiety of weed is too much. (no matter what "strain") i overthink way too much. and socially is a disaster.
but once every 2-4 weeks or so i do get some rum, beer and weed and just take the day off mentally and just try to enjoy making and listening to music in the studio. no pressure etc. once music or sound design is a day job, then the fun gets lost easily. but again, if weed is not for you then dont do it.

now im trying other things. im doing kratom. which affects the opiod receptors. and there are other things like Kanna, Tryptophan, Rhodiola, macuna dopa and a few others which are natural anti anxiety.
the one big warning is to not take these if you are taking SSRI or other antidepressants.
kratom is cool. white kratom does have some caffeine like effects and also relaxes. im trying to get energized w/o coffee so thats why i went for it. so far so good. there are some warnings so better read up on it.
but to me the best is L-Theanine. and taking low doses helps not feel anxious but also dont feel groggy . there is no side effects or risk of addiction. helps with sleep or can take with caffeine to feel more productive (high caffeine w no jitters)

so anyways, the big take away is that im very paranoid with psiciatrist specially in the USA where they treat antidepresants like candy and they need recurring appintment$. im sure some are good and some poeple defenitly need it. but in general i feel the system is rigged to get more drugs, hence the whole opiods epidemic. btw In venezuela we have to do social cummunity service for last year of school to graduate and i did mine in a mental asylum... now.. THATS having mental problems.
but in general i think its better going to an experienced (older) psicologist who talks to you.. not only listens. and seeing his recommendations w/o the bias of having to rx.
and whatch out for "life coaches".

and the other thing is that if you feel like external help is needed there are natural supplements that are mild and working towards getting to that mild level requires some life changes and help from psicolgist to manage any issues.

And what also help is having a stable job. a normal 9-5 job non music related.
And the worse thing... you might just be getting old :) why do you think record companies market so much music to teens?

Also, maybe try listening to more music. if you have amazon prime, then get amazon music app and just try to listen to more music.

i do sometimes feel the same. so hope this helps. and id like to read what others say.
 
im sure everyone has a specific story. but ill share mine. maybe itll help.
my parents used anti depressants a lot. my father was constantly changing due to tolerance and each time each change was like a heart attack. they where immigrants from argentina. and over there seems like half the population is psiciatrists. so they took antidepressants and also valium/etc.
during my teen years and later they sent me to a psicatrist and of course as rebel teen i got the antidepressants. but im not from argentina and all my friends in Venezuela just saw that as wierd. why not just drink your problems away. everyone has issues. so culturally i saw things differently. now there is a stereo type in Venezuela that argentinians are depressed as fuck. but back then i didntk now.
but for them history and familiarity said antidepressants are ok. now of course i realzies they just had a lot of issues to deal with and just went for antidepressants.
anyways, i later stopped using them and it was wierd. it felt like i was feeling again. antidepressants helps by not getting too sad or too happy. so afterwards it was of course difficult. and anxiety of course was a huge thing. but i managed. having friends and a goal helps.

anyways, i still felt the anxiety and could not sleep. so i tried the pharmacy sleep aid and that left me dizzy the next morning. so i tried melatonin. and it kinda worked. i also tried kava kava and it was nice. but kava is not nie to the liver so stopped. i once enter a NYC supplement store back in 2003 and one russian dude working there asked me what i wanted and i just said kava kava and he said witht he obvious thick russian accent " kava bad for liver" here take this. and he gave me L-Theanine.
remember that back then there was no "googling" so i just tried it. and it worked. i was able to relax and with the melatonin go to sleep.

but one thing that was important and took forever to figure out. these supplements that kind of relax you and are over the counter, the idea is that you dont use them like you do heavy antidepressants and xanax.. the idea is to lower your tolerance using friends, psicologists, life changes, to lower your level of anxiety to where these supplements work wonders. and no stigma.
just google L-theanine and caffeine and youll see its one of the main thing programmers in san fransisco do to enhance work and get stuff done.

for music appreciation i would say weed. but for me, i have to get drunk in order to get high becuase the anxiety of weed is too much. (no matter what "strain") i overthink way too much. and socially is a disaster.
but once every 2-4 weeks or so i do get some rum, beer and weed and just take the day off mentally and just try to enjoy making and listening to music in the studio. no pressure etc. once music or sound design is a day job, then the fun gets lost easily. but again, if weed is not for you then dont do it.

now im trying other things. im doing kratom. which affects the opiod receptors. and there are other things like Kanna, Tryptophan, Rhodiola, macuna dopa and a few others which are natural anti anxiety.
the one big warning is to not take these if you are taking SSRI or other antidepressants.
kratom is cool. white kratom does have some caffeine like effects and also relaxes. im trying to get energized w/o coffee so thats why i went for it. so far so good. there are some warnings so better read up on it.
but to me the best is L-Theanine. and taking low doses helps not feel anxious but also dont feel groggy . there is no side effects or risk of addiction. helps with sleep or can take with caffeine to feel more productive (high caffeine w no jitters)

so anyways, the big take away is that im very paranoid with psiciatrist specially in the USA where they treat antidepresants like candy and they need recurring appintment$. im sure some are good and some poeple defenitly need it. but in general i feel the system is rigged to get more drugs, hence the whole opiods epidemic. btw In venezuela we have to do social cummunity service for last year of school to graduate and i did mine in a mental asylum... now.. THATS having mental problems.
but in general i think its better going to an experienced (older) psicologist who talks to you.. not only listens. and seeing his recommendations w/o the bias of having to rx.
and whatch out for "life coaches".

and the other thing is that if you feel like external help is needed there are natural supplements that are mild and working towards getting to that mild level requires some life changes and help from psicolgist to manage any issues.

And what also help is having a stable job. a normal 9-5 job non music related.
And the worse thing... you might just be getting old :) why do you think record companies market so much music to teens?

Also, maybe try listening to more music. if you have amazon prime, then get amazon music app and just try to listen to more music.

i do sometimes feel the same. so hope this helps. and id like to read what others say.
Hi
Awesome! I will check the "L-Theanine" thing, I wanted to order it but because of the COVID thing I dont know.. maybe I should wait. I feel I'm slightly Anhedonic , I can work and everything but want more excitement from things, right now unfortunately I cant afford therapy , so I'm using books and workshops. The chemical imbalance thing still remains a big mystery to me , maybe I'm ok and never needed SSRI's in the first place, since they elevate my mood but made feel worse in other ways (emotional blunting, apathy, more anxiety! (I didn't noticed it until I was titter off the drug) so right now hoping my receptors improves in time with top nutrition and all...
 
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