Screw-off wine? Screw-that! Might as well cap that wine in a tin can.
I was in a Family Dollar a few weeks back desperately looking for a corkscrew as mine had snapped in two. This older, kindly, grisly truck driver was in there desperately seeking something even more banal... anyway, we helped each other out. I never found my corkscrew, but this old dude was adamant that a drywall screw would do wonders... he looked at me intently, grinned, and said, "trust me, son, it works!" I could tell that he had tested this theory on many occasions. Long story short, I now proudly use my 18v dewalt drill and drywall screws to impress the guests... hell, my cats even seemed intrigued by the drunken, electric hum.