Looking for a good legato piano

Polkasound

Senior Member
made me practice scales with a pencil on the top of my hand
You had it easy, my friend. My piano teacher, Frau Hittenslapp, was a former stalag nurse. After the war, she became a piano instructor (because almost all of her job skills up to that point had been banned by the Geneva Conventions.) More than a dozen of her students became world class concert pianists, but they all retired early due to PTSD-related symptoms.

When Frau Hittenslapp died in 1982, she became a poltergeist so that she could continue to play an active role in the lives of her students. I've dedicated my most recent album to her, called Nurses + Curses = Hearses. You're probably familiar with my big hit from that album... Route 666.
 
You guys have completely lost me... could we not have 1 quantum sample which is in its superstate of every possible state... every note, at every velocity, at every pedalling position, with every resonance? Then maybe, it might have already been played, be playing or finished.

Actually, I'm lost. Am I making sense, if not that's fine, just tell me who I am, where I am and whether I posted this or not.
 

SoNowWhat?

realised I can type here
You guys have completely lost me... could we not have 1 quantum sample which is in its superstate of every possible state... every note, at every velocity, at every pedalling position, with every resonance? Then maybe, it might have already been played, be playing or finished.

Actually, I'm lost. Am I making sense, if not that's fine, just tell me who I am, where I am and whether I posted this or not.
I don't know about piano but Richard Feynman did this with a bongos library.

As a special bonus it came with an impulse response for a strip club and a bottle of orange juice.
 

SillyMidOn

Active Member
You had it easy, my friend. My piano teacher, Frau Hittenslapp, was a former stalag nurse. After the war, she became a piano instructor (because almost all of her job skills up to that point had been banned by the Geneva Conventions.) More than a dozen of her students became world class concert pianists, but they all retired early due to PTSD-related symptoms.

When Frau Hittenslapp died in 1982, she became a poltergeist so that she could continue to play an active role in the lives of her students. I've dedicated my most recent album to her, called Nurses + Curses = Hearses. You're probably familiar with my big hit from that album... Route 666.
Woah, you survived Frau Hittenslapp? I thought she was a myth. When Mrs Smirnoff van Peltenhousen made me practice D Flat Demented Scales on a quarter tone piano, she used to regale me with stories of your Frau Hittenslapp, and how they shared a fox hole during the Prussio-Zubrowkan War. Whilst doing this she would invariably be picking the remains of the previous night's dinner out of the barbed wire that covered her teeth like braces. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays it would be Borscht. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays it was Samp and Beans. Sundays it was skinned cat.

Was Frau Hittenslapp from Nebelsbad?

I've heard of your great hit, Route 666, maybe we could do an album together, cathartically cleansing ourselves of our tormented time as piano students. We could call it:

Dodecacoffin.
 

LHall

Active Member
Haha - finally! I was getting so tired of using my tuning hammer on my piano to get these effects. Really wears out the arm!
 

TigerTheFrog

Froganthropist
N has had all that stuff and more for years. N would totally satisfy all your musical requirements for legato piano and the rest, aside from the fact that it has never been released.

That's my only gripe about N.