My comments are based on your style and what you've posted in the past-I think 1:11 to 1:30 isn't coherent. Your tune doesn't need all of those sounds if you ask me. Dial it back and make it simpler.
Here is something I think you should mess with:
Take your note sequence which I personally think is nice because it's simple and easy to remember.
C-D-Eb-Ab-G
Play the EXACT same notes over a different chord. Let's say F minor, that was one of your second chords.
Mess around with playing the same notes but on different chords, pick a Bb major, Ab major, Eb major....listen to the effects of playing those notes over it.
Do this one, play your sequence as you have it and then switch to G minor and then use the Notes G-A-Bb-Eb-D. Those are the same steps as your theme there but starting on a different note, aka a sequence.
Another idea:
Take two of your notes Ab to G. Put them in the background in various places, it's a minor 2nd interval. Drop min 2nds around in the background.
I could hear fragmenting your melody to build up to your climax, just use two of the notes Ab to G and move through harmonies/chords faster (instead of one chord change per measure, maybe two). Heck that could be your "B" section. Short but sweet.
This could be a nice catchy song but you have to get out the scissors
Just wanted to say you haven't wasted your time, that long post has some great recommendations for stuff that I can try the next time I feel stuck on a track. When you're giving feedback to someone, not only that person profits, many others that often stay silent will do too! Thanks!
