Menu
What's new
By:
Filters

I couldn't sleep...So I wrote this

Lovely work Duncan! I wouldn't add the strings personally. I think that texturally, it's complete.
I would love to know what might happen to that melody if you (briefly) moved slightly further away from the harmonic root in that final section before coming back for the sweet ending? That might add more colour than bringing in a new instrument/timbre?

 
It is gorgeous. I get a Genesis vibe (think Winds & Wuthering LP, 1976).
As Genesis were masters of the craft of song writing you'd do well to 'av a listen.
Funnily there is even a sleep related song on that LP: "Unquiet Slumbers for the Sleepers." Synchronicity?
Good luck.
 
You can also leave it just as it is and it's something many will listen to again. Maybe in the future you'll want to expand on it but don't force it. It's a beautiful piece on its own. Good job buddy!
 
Very pleasant piece. I particularly favour the earlier sectiono as the melody is introduced. Peronally I would tend to add a little (very little, non-distracting, and under the piano) to add further interest and support - but it certainly works as a solo piano piece.

It sounded like Insomnia was not so bad a thing after all - pleasant and meandering in the dark of night, with twinkles :)

thank you for placing this for scrutinous ears.

All the best with it.
 
I enjoyed it! A simple, heartfelt piece.

Someone suggesting taking things further harmonically in the middle, which I might agree with, but then the feeling of insomnia isn't exactly a journey... more of a floating in the same place.

May I ask what piano sample this is? It's a nice warm felty sound.
 
Leon Willett said:
I enjoyed it! A simple, heartfelt piece.

Someone suggesting taking things further harmonically in the middle, which I might agree with, but then the feeling of insomnia isn't exactly a journey... more of a floating in the same place.

May I ask what piano sample this is? It's a nice warm felty sound.
Click to expand...
I used the Alicia Keys patch and I think the preset was large hall audience or something like that.
 
Really beautiful... I do agree with Milford59 that the multi repetitions at the end tended to loose my attention. So perhaps a little shorter, or a modulation then back. But well done!
 
Duncan, I think you've nailed the song.
If you are tweaking anything: for the ending try a slow descending treble line starting from the 5th register down to the 4th register before your final G chord: b -a-f# - e - d -e-d-b-a-g.
A descending pentatonic riff to unwind on.
Just an idea. Edit: added mp3 demo.
 

Attachments

  • Cound't sleep ending idea.mp3
    195.1 KB
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom