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I couldn't sleep...So I wrote this

The other night I was tossing and turning and had this idea in my head, so I decided to record it. I'm still debating whether to keep it as a solo piano or add some strings as well to change up the colour.

Also think I might have milked the ending a bit. Curious what everyone thinks.

 

chrisr

Senior Member
Lovely work Duncan! I wouldn't add the strings personally. I think that texturally, it's complete.
I would love to know what might happen to that melody if you (briefly) moved slightly further away from the harmonic root in that final section before coming back for the sweet ending? That might add more colour than bringing in a new instrument/timbre?

 

b_elliott

A work in progress.
It is gorgeous. I get a Genesis vibe (think Winds & Wuthering LP, 1976).
As Genesis were masters of the craft of song writing you'd do well to 'av a listen.
Funnily there is even a sleep related song on that LP: "Unquiet Slumbers for the Sleepers." Synchronicity?
Good luck.
 

PaulieDC

1967 Bizzarrini (btw, don't own it, just love it)
You can also leave it just as it is and it's something many will listen to again. Maybe in the future you'll want to expand on it but don't force it. It's a beautiful piece on its own. Good job buddy!
 

petec

New Member
Very pleasant piece. I particularly favour the earlier sectiono as the melody is introduced. Peronally I would tend to add a little (very little, non-distracting, and under the piano) to add further interest and support - but it certainly works as a solo piano piece.

It sounded like Insomnia was not so bad a thing after all - pleasant and meandering in the dark of night, with twinkles :)

thank you for placing this for scrutinous ears.

All the best with it.
 

Leon Willett

Active Member
I enjoyed it! A simple, heartfelt piece.

Someone suggesting taking things further harmonically in the middle, which I might agree with, but then the feeling of insomnia isn't exactly a journey... more of a floating in the same place.

May I ask what piano sample this is? It's a nice warm felty sound.
 
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Duncan Formosa

Duncan Formosa

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I enjoyed it! A simple, heartfelt piece.

Someone suggesting taking things further harmonically in the middle, which I might agree with, but then the feeling of insomnia isn't exactly a journey... more of a floating in the same place.

May I ask what piano sample this is? It's a nice warm felty sound.
I used the Alicia Keys patch and I think the preset was large hall audience or something like that.
 

BassClef

Senior Member
Really beautiful... I do agree with Milford59 that the multi repetitions at the end tended to loose my attention. So perhaps a little shorter, or a modulation then back. But well done!
 
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Duncan Formosa

Duncan Formosa

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I've shortened the ending of the piece now. I think think it doesn't overstay it's welcome anymore which is a start. Might still do some tweaking to it.

 

b_elliott

A work in progress.
Duncan, I think you've nailed the song.
If you are tweaking anything: for the ending try a slow descending treble line starting from the 5th register down to the 4th register before your final G chord: b -a-f# - e - d -e-d-b-a-g.
A descending pentatonic riff to unwind on.
Just an idea. Edit: added mp3 demo.
 

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