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mopsiflopsi

Active Member
Practicing writing something with an oriental feel. I may have overdone the percussion in the second part, but open to all feedback if you notice other problems.

 

DennyB

Member
This is my first composition with staffpad and I would love some feedback if you have a second . Overall I think it turned out pretty well; honestly I think I would count this as a personal best from a film/epic music perspective, although it's still in the kiddie pool relative to others on this forum. Still, it made me pretty happy to see it come together. Thanks!
 

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brandowalk

Composer
This is my first composition with staffpad and I would love some feedback if you have a second . Overall I think it turned out pretty well; honestly I think I would count this as a personal best from a film/epic music perspective, although it's still in the kiddie pool relative to others on this forum. Still, it made me pretty happy to see it come together. Thanks!
Denny - very nice! What you have written feels sensible and flows smoothly. It is a bit short, but that is OK. I see pieces like this as exercises to something larger. I like your choices of sounds/patches. My main comment is.. after the nice calm intro and pretty cello line, GO BIG! Don't hold back with the energy in the second half of this one-minute journey. Life is short.

Requested Feedback:
- 0:20 wind chimes enter at a good volume but get louder after the bar for some reason and is a little distracting
- 0:32 suggest more of a buildup (i.e. crescendoing timpani 8th notes, string 16th note scale run-up(s)
- 0:36 Nice horn unison line and sound. The backing orchestra should probably go bigger to support with Perc hits (piatti), more driving strings, WW flourishes and/or ostinatos.
- 0:53 Nice addition of the choir. Build even more energy, possibly with more rhythmic complexities in the different strings parts and more percussion (snare?)
- 1:05 a bigger cresc. into the end
- Ending Go to 11, particularly with the percussion (snares, bass drum, piatti)

This detail with the extra instruments and colors is what takes time but will give it that much more interest and energy.

These are my thoughts if I was writing this and perhaps not the vision you have. Either way, I hope my feedback helps. Glad to see you enjoying StaffPad.

Brandon
MusicByBrandonWalker.com
 

mybadmemory

Senior Member
This is my first composition with staffpad and I would love some feedback if you have a second . Overall I think it turned out pretty well; honestly I think I would count this as a personal best from a film/epic music perspective, although it's still in the kiddie pool relative to others on this forum. Still, it made me pretty happy to see it come together. Thanks!
Beautiful! I love the first half with the piano and cello! Just as Brandon I think the second half could go much bolder with a stronger buildup, more intense strings and brass, woodwind flourishes and percussion! And if possible, make it longer. You have such a strong theme going there that it really deserves a few rounds of starting soft, building up, going strong, calming down, and then totally exploding again in the end. Great stuff Denny!
 

DennyB

Member
Thank you @mybadmemory and @brandowalk!! I am very grateful for the support and nice words, but also for the specific feedback to make it better. I will go back and see if I can stretch it out and add some depth to it. Thanks for taking the time to listen to it!

Denny
 
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DennyB

Member
You have such a strong theme going there that it really deserves a few rounds of starting soft, building up, going strong, calming down, and then totally exploding again in the end.
I love this idea, just need to think about how to do it. Would some kind of bridge/B section serve to bring in some fresh air so it doesn’t sound like I am just oscillating back and forth between small and large variations of the same thing?

Edit: in partial answer to my own question, I was listening to Brandon’s chart above and could see how various transitions, restatements, partial cadences etc help keep you in that thematic space without just being 8 bars big, 8 bars small, over and over. Now my work is cut out for me…
:)
 
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dcoscina

Senior Member
Can you talk about the structure? What path is the music following? Thanks!
It's a fugue actually. Statement and answer. I just wanted to do the statement then answer. 3 part fugue at this time but it's hard to hear the third part in the bass/tuba/contrabassoon
 
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