This forum really
does look like a very supportive community (I'm still new here). Thanks for sharing to everyone and a "Get well soon!" to anyone who needs it!
How do you guys deal with it? I suffer from a burnout at the moment because of other work not related to music. (IT/Security installations)
I've seen a friend burn out, that stuff is no joke! It was literally "crippling" to the point of no longer being able to perform trivial physical tasks at times, like getting up from the couch. And unlike something that slowly creeps up and you see it coming, reports of many people with burnout suggest that it rather hits you like a brickwall from one day to another.
If you can, cut back a bit on the work hours, take care of yourself! If music isn't your job and you don't feel like it, there's no point in forcing yourself imho. If you can, find a hobby that is more relaxing for you. I've had periods of months where I didn't touch music once because all my creative energy had to go into my job.
I am now on medication and focusing on getting back on track.
Thanks for sharing! Might be interesting for others what
kind of medication works for you.
To be honest I was starting to get worried about you, when I've seen your posts in one of the recent drama threads, and I'm
really glad to see you're well on your way to recovery! You've never heard of me before, and I want you to know that the people who have never talked to you, but have known you through youtube for years and do care about your wellbeing, must outweigh the haters that message you by several orders of magnitude!
To me it's very important to make a distinction between stress and depression. While they often come in pairs, they aren't the same thing and require different solutions. The stress part, being over-worked, burned-out, etc. is about how much your being asked to process on a daily basis. Have too much to process and you become over-stimulated. This is what causes you to want to put your foot on the breaks and slow down, or even stand still and do nothing for a while. The depression part comes in next, when what we feel we should be able to do doesn't correspond to what we are able to do, and we feel inadequate for it. Not only does this leed to depression, it also compells us to add stuff to our to-do list despite the fact that we can't handle any more stimuli to begin with. So we end up creating a vicious cycle: The more over-stimulated you are, the less productive you are, the more pressure we put on ourselves to do more, the more we add to our over-stimulation and the less we are able to actually do.
That's why the general advice for people with a burn-out is to rest and do nothing. This includes not demanding of yourself to meet a certain standard of productivity. Working on something you usually love because somebody is whipping you to do so is no fun. The love for what you do will disappear. If you become depressed, that's what you're doing: whipping yourself to do more. No wonder you lose the love for your craft after loading up Cubase for 2 minutes. It stopped being about love and started being about measuring up to the expectations you think you need to live up to.
That's not to say that it's easy to stop expecting things of yourself. Especially when society and people around you only add to the pressure of expectations. There are a lot of people you'd need to stand up to in order to claim the acceptance you need. But you have every right to do so. You're not a worthy person because of your work. You're a worthy person period. Anyone who makes you feel otherwise is (either knowingly or unknowingly) harming you. This may include yourself.
In summary, break the cycle of over-stimulation and self-hate by accepting and loving yourself even when you don't work. From that, a desire to create will come back to you. Not because it has to, but because self-expression is something you'll naturally want to do when you're not over-stimulated.
Great post! Would you recommend for affected people to also stay away from forums and other online activities? If overstimulation is part of the problem and feelings of overwhelmedness and loneliness are driving people into online communities, this would look like a vicious cycle right there.
This isn't meant to be disrespectful or callous in the least, but does anybody wonder why so many people are being prescribed all these anti-depressants...and yet overall people don't seem any happier (check the stats on violence in the US alone) than they were in the '70s?
The environmental factors (smartphones and facebook probably being among the biggest ones) are
vastly different today than in the 70's.
Not 100% on topic but I had to think of it for some reason: For anyone dealing with not depression but being targeted by "public outrage" or similar (which likely will lead to depression over time) I'd imagine you can find some useful bits of information in the book "So You've Been Publicly Shamed" by Jon Ronson. I've heard it being recommended on a podcast, but I haven't actually read it. Might be worth a look for anyone with a youtube/twitch channel, or anyone releasing products into the public that receive criticism. Gues we have quite a few members that fit into one of these categories and may sooner or later have to deal with some unpleasant people on the internet.