Petition to move this to Member's Compositions on the grounds that your mockup
kicks ass and ain't got time to bleed!!! (and you clearly aren't claiming it as your music)
Mix - nice, I think you need to move the percussion groove back a lot, the piano back a little, and bring the brass forward a little (also make it more dry and distinct). Also, snares-on on those snares!
There are some transcription errors if you don't mind me pointing out some things -
bar 47 - violins should be (half rest) quarter quarter dottedQ-eight.
2:21 - brass should be more staccato and militaristic I think
bar 71 - same as 47
87-90 - wrong notes, the "interjections" are supposed to be F-Db, E-F (for all instruments)
91-98 - wrong notes, Trombones play E major (with the top voice doing the 5-#4-5 decoration, the other voices just repeat E and G#). Then the next measure the horns copy this exactly - same octave. Then back to trombones, then horns. Then at 95 everybody moves up to G major, but the same idea. The tuba goes from low E staccatos to low G as well.
99-102 these are the wrong chords too, IMO. It's hard for me to hear exactly but I think they're just major chords with the french horns doing a sextuplet warble on the same 5-#4-5 idea. Don't take my word for it on this one though.
91-102 you could emphasize the crescendos more on these chords.
I only critique because it already rocks
well done Alex!