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Need feedback on my music - Battle of The Century

Discussion in 'Member's Compositions' started by constaneum, Aug 12, 2017.

  1. constaneum

    constaneum Senior Member

    I've been on simple music write up all this while. Here's my 1st attempt for a more crazy orchestra work and would like to hear some feedbacks on how to improve. Feel free to comment on the orchestration, reverb setting, staging setting and etc.

    "Battle of The Century"
     
    AlexanderSchiborr likes this.
  2. markleake

    markleake Recovering from BF Sales

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    Nov 8, 2015
    Hey @constaneum. I really like it. There's probably some polishing to do, but I'm not the best person to comment on that as I lack the knowledge. You may want to check the volume of the woods, I know sometimes the piccolo can dominate, but in some sections it really does seem to punch too hard. In terms of overall flow of the track, I wonder if it would be good to break the rhythm further. There is a quieter section that does that some, but I wonder if it would be worth trying a time signature change somewhere in the second half or for the finale maybe, so that the rhythm doesn't get too tired? Also, at the very start you may want to vary or double the strings more, as they carry with the same beat a bit too monotonously for a few bars.
     
    constaneum likes this.
  3. OP
    OP
    constaneum

    constaneum Senior Member


    ah !!! Thanks for the comments. really appreciate it. Let me see on how to polish on the woodwinds.

    rhythm doesnt get too tired as in monotonous as well?
     
  4. AlexanderSchiborr

    AlexanderSchiborr Senior Member

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    May 1, 2014
    Hi! :)

    I am one minute in your piece and it is really cool sounding, but..well..I believeyou have a bit to relax. How to improve? Very simple here: You need to simplify your ideas and let them slowly develop and take your time..! I am in the first minute and while I think the first 14 seconds are really good (you said your motif once!), you then start to get probably biting your nails because you think your idea is too simple? So that ends up that you write all over the place with countrapunctual figures and no plan what you want there.(15-40 seconds). I have a general rule: Safe counterpoint and decorational elements for later and use it when your mainmotif is clear. The simpler the motif the earlier you can start with such things for sure. At 22 - 40 seconds..this is chaos there..please at 33 seconds..kick out this random Woodwind run..it is just hilarous.
    Woodwind runs are used differently, I guess you want them as a dynamic support or as color for an accent? So when you use a WW run e.g a as color make sure to use such things where it makes sense. For instance for a build up to support the dynamics or if you have a melody and want to highlight a specific important note in the melody. Otherwise such runs become..just random and not supporting your music.
    At 46 - 53 seconds..there is random chaos for me. If you can´t handle such things..stop doing it, first practise easier things and build on them and then you can go and try such things. It sounds for me that you can´t control that things yet. And that is no problem at all. It takes time and it is not easy to do.

    I would recommend to you in general: Write a bit shorter pieces, lets say 1 1/2 minutes. Create a motif, say it twice. In the repetition try to do something different. Keep for instance the melody the same but use a different note in the chords, sometimes just one chord or notechange in the chord can have big impact. Create a proper b - section after that which features a new idea, but recapitulates elements from your a section, for instance a rhythm which stays the same, when the melody changes. Or a contrast in harmony...from major to more minor.(work with contrasts!) Or you could develop a b-section and counterpoint elements from your a section in the gaps where melody notes are resting.
    So make a simple clear structure, like A (motif) / A (slight variation) / B (b-motif) / A (a-motif intensified,e.g. you can experiment going other places with your chordal structure or you extent the melody). You can if you like make little bridges between those sections so that they don´t sound like pop songwriting, so like:

    -Intro (feature your motif incomplete, or use harmony to announce it..there are many ways)
    -A Section
    -B Section
    -little buildup with cliffhanger
    -A Section intensified.
    -Climax section repeat motif (you can go here all over the place then)

    What do you think?
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2017
    constaneum likes this.
  5. ctsai89

    ctsai89 Poem of Ecstasy

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    Oct 4, 2016

    1st attempt? this is really good for a 1st attempt
     
  6. col

    col Senior Member

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    Jan 24, 2016
    I second the motion !
     
  7. OP
    OP
    constaneum

    constaneum Senior Member


    really have to thank you for the longwinded analysis which i really appreciate. This is what i'm really looking for. The removal of woodwinds at 33s eh? ok ok.. I'll be extra careful with my WW runs next time...uhm...I don't really get the chaos part you've mentioned for 22-40s. Are you basically saying that there are too many lines which you can't seem to focus on things like "which is the main melody to be conveyed" or something else?
     
  8. OP
    OP
    constaneum

    constaneum Senior Member

    For this sort of "crazy orchestration" which i'm trying to attempt John William's style, I'll have to say it's kind of my 1st attempt. If you listen to the rest of my music on soundcloud, you'll notice most of them are of simpler orchestration.
     
  9. AlexanderSchiborr

    AlexanderSchiborr Senior Member

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    May 1, 2014
    Regarding the wind run:
    You can leave it in if you think you need the woodwind run there. But for me it sounded random without any merit to the music. Can you explain what you wanted there and why feature there a wind run? This run is neither accenting an important note, nor it is there for a swell sweetener. Or did you want it for forward motion, but why then only this single run up and not a continous flowing texture of scale wise motion? So it doesn´t make sense to me and leaded me to the idea that you just placed it there to fill the space in your orchestration because you are not sure about it.
    Regarding the chaos part:
    Yes, you have no focus! You are just 20 seconds in your piece, you main motif is not yet cemented, you have not even developed it at all, and without all that you start to write overly busy lines, which are even not the same melody, rhythm and intervallic relation AND the same instrument section. This is overly confusing and makes no sense at all. So you have to decide: If you want a color change you should better keep your melody straight and same or if want to change the melody..keep the instrument section the same. My tip: Explore more your harmonies there to see if they can bring something interesting while keeping the melody the same. Why not build things on your idea from 0:00 - 15 seconds? This is a clear statement. And based on that you should develop your material. But if that is not your main motif what you intended, then I start to have questions where it is?

    And by the way: Sure you can start a piece with all over the place arrangement, but then you better make sure that you have a clear focus line, and not to many elements distracting from the focus line. Your part from 20 seconds etc. has a problems because it is not clear where your focus is. In the Strings or in the French Horns? What is what? What is the melody there, and what is the counter element? Are the trumpets really bringing something cool to the part? Think about that. Also the rhythmic choices there are confusing. The string lines are overly busy also. I feel you really weren´t sure where to go with your melody or whatever you intended where your focus is. I think your goal could be like that: I want to sound sophisticated complex and so I have to feature my skills better pretty soon in my music. But this is not complex, my friend. Complexity is not confusing. To improve that part: Get your French horns motif from the beginning, and if you like counterpointed elements, fill in the gaps where your main motif notes "rest". Later on in the game you start to thicken lines, and to add more elements, or doublers, and make it a bit more complex.
    Hope that helps?
    And sure: You can keep your piece like it is. It is all fine, it is not a bad piece at all.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2017 at 11:21 PM
  10. OP
    OP
    constaneum

    constaneum Senior Member

    the woodwinds were more towards deco. You're probably right on the part "it doesnt make sense" to have such random runs.

    the high strings at the chaos part were most intended to lead the change in the melody transition with backup from the brass. Probably the transition was too fast.

    anyway, thanks for the awesome feedback !! at least i know where to improve.
     

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